[ Of all the things to happen he did not expect the rock to go flying back out of the ocean. It's a good thing it hadn't come back at his face. Think of all the awful things that could've happened.

He blinks a few times, looking between the stone and the ocean wondering how that could've been possible. Right up until the point a literal freaking mermaid pops out of the water. He stares agape for a moment, as he just stares...and then finally;]

...What the actual fuck?

Are you one of those weird girls who buys the mermaid tails? Why are you in the fucking ocean with one? [ He thinks the tail is fake...the fool. ]