( it's been decades, maybe even a century or more since the manor of luferov, had any life to it. the last generation had but one survivor, and he left the place behind and made his own name for himself. was it a disease, as the family was prone to? rebellion? or something more sinister, given how the family seemed to be cursed? it's not clear to anyone, and the surviving son never spoke of the downfall of his house. he barely spoke about anything of that time, really.
all he would say, he would say to his granddaughter, about her namesake: lily. lily had been the heiress of the house, a spoiled princess who detested her father's mockery of love, a sickly waif who longed for freedom. everything they could think of, they'd give her... including, according to rumors and legends, even things of myth.
grandfather told lily of how his cousin had a merman caged for her, living in her lake despite being of the sea.
wouldn't that hurt him? she had asked, and he looked guilty. don't they live far longer? she would ask, and he had no answer, save for the awe of how much she looked like his beloved cousin.
he'd passed, when she was a bit older. lily went to school, went to college, studied and studied more, research spanning across all sorts of subjects as a prodigy, and stories at her grandfather's bedside haunted her still.
maybe that's why she's here now, at the remains of an old mansion barred from the rest of the world. a rusty old key from her grandfather's belongings and the amulet of the head of the house both in hand, she presses the doors open, and then closes them behind her. it's quiet, dark and dreary, as expected.
but it's also clean. and she can hear footsteps. both of these... are not what she expected. )
[ What else was he to do but wander the halls like a ghost and keep the place up-kept? He had learned how to change his tail into legs so that he may escape the lake for a few moments of time, but that didn't mean he was free. He would never make it far without a steady source of water, and the only source was the lake. As much as it hurt, the water too pure for him, it was the only thing he had.
So he wandered the mansion and kept it clean, and sat in his prison, and thought of the one who abandoned him. She had kept him like a pet, claimed she loved him, made him dependent on her and need her, then left him.
How long had it been? He grew and she didn't return. He learned and the place remained silent. He kept and he waited and he sat in his lake and stared at the sky and wondered why. Why had she left him? Why hadn't she let him go before she left?
Why wouldn't he die?
It's a day like any other when he hears the door open, and for a moment he's not sure what he's hearing. No one but him opens the door, but he's obviously not opening it. He stares blankly in the direction of it before moving towards it. His legs ache and he needs to return to the lake soon, but curiosity has him gripped tight. He's not expecting to see a figure and he stops dead in his tracks.
Maybe he should be afraid, but he's stopped feeling that. And he can't see well enough in the darkness, he hasn't bothered turning on any lights. ]
( that- it's a person? had someone else survived? but it was so long ago, and even if the mansion was abandoned, surely people would talk. or was it a squatter? it's been so long, it's not unreasonable...
lily falters a moment, but her grip on the amulet over her heart tightens. she really hadn't expected someone to be here. it throws off her plans entirely, and something twists in her stomach.
you shouldn't have come here, something whispers in her mind. you've made a grave mistake.
she inhales, but when she speaks, he'll find her voice to be familiar, too- softer, gentler, but a piece of history all the same. )
I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone would be her. I... I am Lily.
[ He says her name at the same time she does, not even needing to hear her say it to know it. The moment she began to speak, it clicked together in his head. He steps forward quickly, closing the distance, coming close enough for her to see.
For him to see her. ]
You came back.
[ He doesn't know what to feel. Anger, that she left him. Relief, that she returned. It took a while but she returned. Pain and despair and hope and a fierce burning need. ]
( lily is a brave young woman, this is true. she holds herself well in stressful situations despite her anxieties, and has managed fairly for the sole heir of a dead noble house in a world where that sort of thing is still taken seriously.
this does not stop her from flinching as he approaches, sliding on foot back in case she has to escape-
...
he- knows her name? or- "you came back"? but she'd never been here before in her life- )
I- This is my first time here. I don't know what you're talking about...
[ That hurts for some reason and pain flashes across his face, before his brows furrow down. He struggles with his emotions, experiencing them again after so long is leaving him reeling. ]
Why would you lie about that?
[ He sounds so hurt, unable to keep the emotion from his voice. Why would she lie?! She has they key, she has the amulet, he can see them both clear as day this close. She looks a little different but time has passed, of course she would.
She came back and now she wants to pretend she was never here to begin with? ]
I- I'm not! I've never been here, I just- this was my family's, so I wanted to see it-
( lily takes a step back, shaking her head-
and then it hits her. grandfather's stories. a rush of emotions hit her all at once, stunning her in place as she stares wide eyed. has he been waiting alone, all this time? did he force himself to change, to try and seek out the only people he'd ever known, because it was better than loneliness?
[ He doesn't understand? He doesn't understand why she's lying but also telling the truth? Of course this mansion is her families?
And now she's saying she's... not herself?
He doesn't understand any of this and it's frustrating. She was always selfish, greedy, demanding, and she would sometimes play games but not games like this. He doesn't understand how to come at this particular one. Does she want to pretend like it's their first meeting?! He grew legs for her when she stopped coming to the lake to seek her out!
And she wants to pretend she doesn't know him! ]
I don't like this game, stop playing it!
[ He reaches out to grip his hand around her wrist and drag her forward, down the hallway, to a picture of herself. Commissioned on one of her better days. ]
It's you!! Stop pretending you don't know you! That you don't know me! Didn't you say you loved me? Why would you play you don't!
( she tries to step back again, but he's pulling her before she can and there's a part of her still too shocked to resist. and somehow she gets the feeling that if she does too much, it will only upset him more.
ah, she hadn't even told anyone what she was doing, had she? foolish of her, honestly.
lily isn't sure where to look as he practically drags her- the portraits lining the wall all staring down at her as if welcoming her home and warning her with their cold smiles, the way he's taking her in case he lets go of her, or the man himself-
the painting of the first lily is- striking, not in beauty but in that it feels like a slap to the face. the woman really does look so much like her- it's like looking in a mirror she wants to break on instinct. like if it catches her alone, it might try to devour her.
she stares, breathless, before jerking her gaze away. )
Please, you must understand! I was named after her for my resemblance, but I truly don't know you, and I'm sorry!
[ No no NO! He all but throws her arm aside in his violence in letting it go and covers his face with his fingers. A growl echoes deep within his throat.
Many often see Merpeople as delicate gems of the ocean, beautiful and serene and helpful to sailors. Maybe, when he was younger, he had been. But he's older now and he's been forced to be alone for so long, held away from his people, singing songs to no one. He's long stopped being a delicate gem.
Many often forget the "Monster" side of Merpeople. Those that would sing and lure sailors to their deaths, as food. ]
Then leave!!
[ His cry is pain and anger, a wild wail as he turns himself away. ]
If you're not her then leave me alone! Go away! GET OUT!
( lily flinches, drawing her arm back in fear and to soothe the sting of his grip. she's a frail woman, she knows- for as fragile as the merman is from who knows how many years of neglect, wrath empowers, too. she can only be grateful that's all he's done-
she steps back once, twice... )
... I'm sorry.
( and she turns and runs. panic leads her back to the front door, breathless and eyes stinging from tears she isn't sure she has the right to. her hands grip the handles, vision blurring. she could run from this place, like her grandfather did so long ago. ignore what she learned and live peacefully, unharmed by this revelation. ... but she wouldn't really be unharmed, would she? guilt would eat her alive.
she'd drive herself mad wondering what happened to her ancestor's greatest crime, the merman away from the sea. if he was eating okay, if he got cold or too hot, if the lake really could help him.
... no. no, she can't. )
I have to fix this.
( lily lets go of the door, wipes her eyes, and turns back around. it's a big mansion. surely the answers she seeks will be here. the first place to look...? ... lily's room would probably be a good contender, but she's not sure she's ready to go there. or if he'll let her. so the head of the household's office may be the key, right?
she quietly makes her way up the stairs, instead. )
[ And he listens to her go and he screams, the sound following after her like a cry of a wounded animal. Like someone whose just had their heart torn from their chest, but he lets her go.
He lets her go because it's what she wants.
As she flees one way, he will plod his way in another. His steps taking him from one part of his jail to another, outside to the still pristine lake that was made for him. He tugs his robes off and slips into the painful water. It burns and scalds, but it's water and he needs it, letting his legs reform into a tail, scales appearing along his skin (red and blotchy, irritated, peeling) and webbing along his fingers.
And he merely floats there on his back, staring up at the sky. Watching clouds shift, colors change as time passes. He'd rotted a bit like this at first too, letting himself starve as he simply floated there and watched day turn to night turn to day again, an endless marching cycle.
He doesn't know she stayed instead, doesn't know she's made her way upstairs, the windows open for the cool air to keep the place from being musty.
So he doesn't know she will hear it when he sings, the song lyricless but melodic, an aching painful thing that shivers lonely in the air. He sings to no one but he sings, as if hoping someone will hear and come and get him. So he won't be lonely anymore. ]
( it takes some searching, but- she finds the main office, eventually. it smells like someone died there once upon a time, and perhaps more joyously (if not for the circumstances) like old books and ink. there must be maps, journals, records-
anything that could tell her where he came from.
early into her search she hears his song, stiffens- it's beautiful. it's agonizing. she wants to go to him-
but she is not his lily, and she has sins of the father to put right. even if sometimes she wanders closer to the windows, to see the glimmering lake.
once sunset starts to creep, she checks the various lamps and candles, lights just enough to guide her still as she goes through books, and does not stop to think that he may see light that isn't his from the windows. ...doesn't stop to think that maybe it's been a long day, and her vision's starting to blur as she sits at a desk that isn't hers.
most of the records so far are about the first lily's mother, and her father's obsession with the poor woman. health failing, escape attempts, must he chain her down- every live pet she's given is rejected. so he has it killed and preserved, stuffed and presented to his lily.
it makes her sick. if she sleeps tonight, she may just have nightmares.
[ He doesn't notice the lights at first, drifting as he is, until he eventually rotates and sees the lights sparkling on the lake. He rights himself to stare at them, then turn his attention to the windows.
Light shines gently from them. From Lily's office.
His heart clenches. Did she stay? Is she really back now?! Did she stop her pretending? He swims towards the edge of the lake and crawls himself up, concentrating to shift his legs despite them still being wet. It hurts but he doesn't care, and it's only partial. Scales and the webbing remains.
Then he's up and running - forgot his clothing oh dear - to quickly enter the mansion and race his way upstairs. He stumbles a few times, his legs aching, but he ignores it to push the door open of the office when he reaches it.
slumped against her great-great-uncle's desk- because i forgot the great on her great-grandfather's epithet- dozing over financial records until the doors being thrown open startle her awake, force her to sit up with a squeak-
at which point she promptly covers her eyes, face flush immediately, trying not to scream. )
[ He ignores her question - what are things that are simply not important for 1000 Alex? - as elation fills him. It doesn't matter if she's her or not, she stayed.
He has to get her to stay. ]
Have you eaten yet?! It's late, you should eat. I know how to cook some things, I can make you something. You should rest too, not at the desk, you'll hurt yourself. I can have your bed made for you!!
( lily does not uncover her eyes, for her own sake, but scrambles to answer his questions all the same. ... but, with how delighted he is... does he still think she's her? or is he so lonely he doesn't care?
is it both? )
I- um- ...Iiii had breakfast? I don't think- a guest room should be fine, right?
[ He simply doesn't care. She stayed! She stayed!! He told her to leave and she didn't!! Now if he's good, if he does well, maybe she will remain forever.
The noise he makes is musical, a sweet whistling human. ]
No, that's no good!!
[ He turns and exits the way he came, his feet slapping against the floor as he runs back down stairs.
Tumbles downstairs. Ugh, his legs ache, he didn't soak long enough, he didn't dry them before changing. Whatever, it doesn't matter. He's got some dinner to make for her!
[ He's raw looking. His scales no longer are the gorgeous golden shine they once were, dull and peeling instead. The webbing between his fingers and toes, slowly fading as he dries more, looks like it overly dry skin. His skin might have once been a healthy tan is now more ashen. Even his hair and eyes are flat, unkempt. He's skinny, his landing is making his knee bruise already.
He's beaming like the light came back into his life. ]
No it's fine! I'm strong! You just came b- you just arrived, let me show you hospitality!
[ Stay with me, stay with me, never leave me again, please. I'll be good, I'll be obedient, I need you, I want you. He climbs to his feet, gently helps her up as well, then turns and quickly disappears down a hallway.
Are you sure you want to leave a merperson around fire? ]
[ The shriek at being tackled is shockingly musical, as all his sounds are, and they both sort of just go down into a pile. At least he's covered by her own clothes now, even as he lays there in surprise.
She's hugging him - to hold him down - but all he can see is her hugging him. She's hugging him! She's being herse- she's- ]
You know how to cook?
[ Yes, clearly that's the most important thing here. He didn't think she did, she always had her servants cook for her.
This isn't her, but it is her. It even smells like her. Kinda. ]
I- I live alone. I can handle myself, don't worry.
( if she's sounds muffled, it's because she's trying to evaporate into herself, because he is no less naked. and she's practically on top of him. if anyone saw them now, they'd have to die, that's all there is to it- )
no subject
all he would say, he would say to his granddaughter, about her namesake: lily. lily had been the heiress of the house, a spoiled princess who detested her father's mockery of love, a sickly waif who longed for freedom. everything they could think of, they'd give her... including, according to rumors and legends, even things of myth.
grandfather told lily of how his cousin had a merman caged for her, living in her lake despite being of the sea.
wouldn't that hurt him? she had asked, and he looked guilty. don't they live far longer? she would ask, and he had no answer, save for the awe of how much she looked like his beloved cousin.
he'd passed, when she was a bit older. lily went to school, went to college, studied and studied more, research spanning across all sorts of subjects as a prodigy, and stories at her grandfather's bedside haunted her still.
maybe that's why she's here now, at the remains of an old mansion barred from the rest of the world. a rusty old key from her grandfather's belongings and the amulet of the head of the house both in hand, she presses the doors open, and then closes them behind her. it's quiet, dark and dreary, as expected.
but it's also clean. and she can hear footsteps. both of these... are not what she expected. )
What...?
no subject
So he wandered the mansion and kept it clean, and sat in his prison, and thought of the one who abandoned him. She had kept him like a pet, claimed she loved him, made him dependent on her and need her, then left him.
How long had it been? He grew and she didn't return. He learned and the place remained silent. He kept and he waited and he sat in his lake and stared at the sky and wondered why. Why had she left him? Why hadn't she let him go before she left?
Why wouldn't he die?
It's a day like any other when he hears the door open, and for a moment he's not sure what he's hearing. No one but him opens the door, but he's obviously not opening it. He stares blankly in the direction of it before moving towards it. His legs ache and he needs to return to the lake soon, but curiosity has him gripped tight. He's not expecting to see a figure and he stops dead in his tracks.
Maybe he should be afraid, but he's stopped feeling that. And he can't see well enough in the darkness, he hasn't bothered turning on any lights. ]
Who are you?
no subject
( that- it's a person? had someone else survived? but it was so long ago, and even if the mansion was abandoned, surely people would talk. or was it a squatter? it's been so long, it's not unreasonable...
lily falters a moment, but her grip on the amulet over her heart tightens. she really hadn't expected someone to be here. it throws off her plans entirely, and something twists in her stomach.
you shouldn't have come here, something whispers in her mind. you've made a grave mistake.
she inhales, but when she speaks, he'll find her voice to be familiar, too- softer, gentler, but a piece of history all the same. )
I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone would be her. I... I am Lily.
no subject
[ He says her name at the same time she does, not even needing to hear her say it to know it. The moment she began to speak, it clicked together in his head. He steps forward quickly, closing the distance, coming close enough for her to see.
For him to see her. ]
You came back.
[ He doesn't know what to feel. Anger, that she left him. Relief, that she returned. It took a while but she returned. Pain and despair and hope and a fierce burning need. ]
no subject
this does not stop her from flinching as he approaches, sliding on foot back in case she has to escape-
...
he- knows her name? or- "you came back"? but she'd never been here before in her life- )
I- This is my first time here. I don't know what you're talking about...
no subject
Why would you lie about that?
[ He sounds so hurt, unable to keep the emotion from his voice. Why would she lie?! She has they key, she has the amulet, he can see them both clear as day this close. She looks a little different but time has passed, of course she would.
She came back and now she wants to pretend she was never here to begin with? ]
Why?!
no subject
( lily takes a step back, shaking her head-
and then it hits her. grandfather's stories. a rush of emotions hit her all at once, stunning her in place as she stares wide eyed. has he been waiting alone, all this time? did he force himself to change, to try and seek out the only people he'd ever known, because it was better than loneliness?
she wants to cry for him. )
I'm sorry. I'm not... her.
no subject
And now she's saying she's... not herself?
He doesn't understand any of this and it's frustrating. She was always selfish, greedy, demanding, and she would sometimes play games but not games like this. He doesn't understand how to come at this particular one. Does she want to pretend like it's their first meeting?! He grew legs for her when she stopped coming to the lake to seek her out!
And she wants to pretend she doesn't know him! ]
I don't like this game, stop playing it!
[ He reaches out to grip his hand around her wrist and drag her forward, down the hallway, to a picture of herself. Commissioned on one of her better days. ]
It's you!! Stop pretending you don't know you! That you don't know me! Didn't you say you loved me? Why would you play you don't!
no subject
ah, she hadn't even told anyone what she was doing, had she? foolish of her, honestly.
lily isn't sure where to look as he practically drags her- the portraits lining the wall all staring down at her as if welcoming her home and warning her with their cold smiles, the way he's taking her in case he lets go of her, or the man himself-
the painting of the first lily is- striking, not in beauty but in that it feels like a slap to the face. the woman really does look so much like her- it's like looking in a mirror she wants to break on instinct. like if it catches her alone, it might try to devour her.
she stares, breathless, before jerking her gaze away. )
Please, you must understand! I was named after her for my resemblance, but I truly don't know you, and I'm sorry!
no subject
[ No no NO! He all but throws her arm aside in his violence in letting it go and covers his face with his fingers. A growl echoes deep within his throat.
Many often see Merpeople as delicate gems of the ocean, beautiful and serene and helpful to sailors. Maybe, when he was younger, he had been. But he's older now and he's been forced to be alone for so long, held away from his people, singing songs to no one. He's long stopped being a delicate gem.
Many often forget the "Monster" side of Merpeople. Those that would sing and lure sailors to their deaths, as food. ]
Then leave!!
[ His cry is pain and anger, a wild wail as he turns himself away. ]
If you're not her then leave me alone! Go away! GET OUT!
no subject
she steps back once, twice... )
... I'm sorry.
( and she turns and runs. panic leads her back to the front door, breathless and eyes stinging from tears she isn't sure she has the right to. her hands grip the handles, vision blurring. she could run from this place, like her grandfather did so long ago. ignore what she learned and live peacefully, unharmed by this revelation. ... but she wouldn't really be unharmed, would she? guilt would eat her alive.
she'd drive herself mad wondering what happened to her ancestor's greatest crime, the merman away from the sea. if he was eating okay, if he got cold or too hot, if the lake really could help him.
... no. no, she can't. )
I have to fix this.
( lily lets go of the door, wipes her eyes, and turns back around. it's a big mansion. surely the answers she seeks will be here. the first place to look...? ... lily's room would probably be a good contender, but she's not sure she's ready to go there. or if he'll let her. so the head of the household's office may be the key, right?
she quietly makes her way up the stairs, instead. )
no subject
He lets her go because it's what she wants.
As she flees one way, he will plod his way in another. His steps taking him from one part of his jail to another, outside to the still pristine lake that was made for him. He tugs his robes off and slips into the painful water. It burns and scalds, but it's water and he needs it, letting his legs reform into a tail, scales appearing along his skin (red and blotchy, irritated, peeling) and webbing along his fingers.
And he merely floats there on his back, staring up at the sky. Watching clouds shift, colors change as time passes. He'd rotted a bit like this at first too, letting himself starve as he simply floated there and watched day turn to night turn to day again, an endless marching cycle.
He doesn't know she stayed instead, doesn't know she's made her way upstairs, the windows open for the cool air to keep the place from being musty.
So he doesn't know she will hear it when he sings, the song lyricless but melodic, an aching painful thing that shivers lonely in the air. He sings to no one but he sings, as if hoping someone will hear and come and get him. So he won't be lonely anymore. ]
no subject
anything that could tell her where he came from.
early into her search she hears his song, stiffens- it's beautiful. it's agonizing. she wants to go to him-
but she is not his lily, and she has sins of the father to put right. even if sometimes she wanders closer to the windows, to see the glimmering lake.
once sunset starts to creep, she checks the various lamps and candles, lights just enough to guide her still as she goes through books, and does not stop to think that he may see light that isn't his from the windows. ...doesn't stop to think that maybe it's been a long day, and her vision's starting to blur as she sits at a desk that isn't hers.
most of the records so far are about the first lily's mother, and her father's obsession with the poor woman. health failing, escape attempts, must he chain her down- every live pet she's given is rejected. so he has it killed and preserved, stuffed and presented to his lily.
it makes her sick. if she sleeps tonight, she may just have nightmares.
... but nothing about a merman, yet. )
no subject
Light shines gently from them. From Lily's office.
His heart clenches. Did she stay? Is she really back now?! Did she stop her pretending? He swims towards the edge of the lake and crawls himself up, concentrating to shift his legs despite them still being wet. It hurts but he doesn't care, and it's only partial. Scales and the webbing remains.
Then he's up and running - forgot his clothing oh dear - to quickly enter the mansion and race his way upstairs. He stumbles a few times, his legs aching, but he ignores it to push the door open of the office when he reaches it.
His motions are almost wild. Did she stay?! ]
no subject
slumped against her great-great-uncle's desk- because i forgot the great on her great-grandfather's epithet- dozing over financial records until the doors being thrown open startle her awake, force her to sit up with a squeak-
at which point she promptly covers her eyes, face flush immediately, trying not to scream. )
Wh- where are your clothes?!
no subject
[ He ignores her question - what are things that are simply not important for 1000 Alex? - as elation fills him. It doesn't matter if she's her or not, she stayed.
He has to get her to stay. ]
Have you eaten yet?! It's late, you should eat. I know how to cook some things, I can make you something. You should rest too, not at the desk, you'll hurt yourself. I can have your bed made for you!!
no subject
is it both? )
I- um- ...Iiii had breakfast? I don't think- a guest room should be fine, right?
no subject
The noise he makes is musical, a sweet whistling human. ]
No, that's no good!!
[ He turns and exits the way he came, his feet slapping against the floor as he runs back down stairs.
Tumbles downstairs. Ugh, his legs ache, he didn't soak long enough, he didn't dry them before changing. Whatever, it doesn't matter. He's got some dinner to make for her!
He hopes she likes fish. ]
no subject
( she hears the commotion and modesty be damned, she's up and following, lifting her skirt to five chase. )
Slow down, you're hurting yourself!
( lily crouches beside him, inspecting him carefully. ... he's so... )
Your skin... your legs... it looks painful. Please, go rest. I'll take care of everything tonight, you're hurt.
no subject
He's beaming like the light came back into his life. ]
No it's fine! I'm strong! You just came b- you just arrived, let me show you hospitality!
[ Stay with me, stay with me, never leave me again, please. I'll be good, I'll be obedient, I need you, I want you. He climbs to his feet, gently helps her up as well, then turns and quickly disappears down a hallway.
Are you sure you want to leave a merperson around fire? ]
no subject
lily gives chase again, and then.
oh, saints preserve her.
she straight up tackles him, trying to ignore his state of dress while she tries to catch her breath- )
No! Your health is more important, and the heat will only make things worse! I won't let you!
( its forceful (not as much as his lily) and spoken with eyes squeezed shut for dignity's sake, but she will not budge at all. )
no subject
She's hugging him - to hold him down - but all he can see is her hugging him. She's hugging him! She's being herse- she's- ]
You know how to cook?
[ Yes, clearly that's the most important thing here. He didn't think she did, she always had her servants cook for her.
This isn't her, but it is her. It even smells like her. Kinda. ]
no subject
( if she's sounds muffled, it's because she's trying to evaporate into herself, because he is no less naked. and she's practically on top of him. if anyone saw them now, they'd have to die, that's all there is to it- )
Just- please, let me handle it. You're still...
no subject
Is this really, truly, not her?
He lays there under her for a moment, blinking lightly. She said "please".
It really isn't her, is it?
Yet she's close enough. And since she asked. ]
All right.
[ What else can he do? ]
no subject
Thank you. You can- um- go back to resting, it's okay.
... Ah- what's your name...?
( she hadn't asked in all this time. ... she hopes he still remembers. )
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
cw: self harm?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
cw: death ideation
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
cw: suicide mention
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
I HAD THIS SITTING FOR SIX HOURS....