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i am robbing bakerstreet again

PET PERSON MEME

>> premise

Hello, and welcome to The Care and Keeping of Your Pet! As you surely know, a pet is a big responsibility, and we're so glad you've decided to be a concientious master. A safe pet is a happy pet, and this handbook is certain to keep your precious lifelong friend as content as can be.

The history of the animal person is a long and difficult one, with their origins not being known even to this day. However, scientists believe that despite our common appearance - most animal people have humanoid forms except for the ears, tails, and sometimes teeth - we share no common ancestry, even if the ascent of this species corresponds with that of the homo sapien. We gained dominance over each breed thousands of years ago, beginning with the dog type, who have long been considered "man's best friend." Most breeds these days are docile and perfect for owners of any speed.

Of course, it is our duty as the superior species to take care of these animal creatures, and this is inherent in their genetic makeup. Everyone knows that an animal person, when matched with their correct human master, is loyal for life - a true "soulmate," if you will. Far be it for us to turn this away! Ever since the Great Domestication, these intelligent and loving animals have served us as friends, workmates, guardians, servants, and sexual companions and will for years to come. Despite recent hubbub from so-called "Pet People's Rights Activists," this way of life is wholesome and good. Scientific research shows that the natural desire of the pet person is to be owned and cared for by a human.

So, it's your first pet. What do you need to know?

As previously stated, pet people come in as many breeds as you can possibly think of. By far and away the most popular are the dog and cat types, but exotic birds and lizards have been gaining popularity among trendsetters from L.A. to Tokyo!
All pet types are best suited for certain jobs, and when hunting for one, it is best to search for a type that suits your needs best.
However, a "True Match" - when a pet person bonds with you and only you for the rest of their natural lives - comes naturally, and sometimes takes time before you can find the pet you will be able to give a forever home to.
According to all current research, pet people are completely sentient and like us in many ways. However, it is important to remember that they have many animalistic and feral characteristics. Do not be foolish and think that your pet is a person, despite the facts that many are clothed and may be allowed to read, write, and have "hobbies." Some traditional pet owners may eschew these frivolities, and that is within their right.
Pet people age more quickly than humans, at least physically, and many types have long lifespans. It is not uncommon for pets to be passed through the family. When getting your child their first pet, it's important to keep in mind that just because the pup is tiny now, a grown pet can be jumpy around a small child.
It is important to train a pet. Discipline will be necessary. This does not make you a bad owner. Failure to train early will result in a rebellious pet. Training is especially important if you want your pet to serve as a household servant.
Remember, your pet will be extremely protective of you, especially if you are Truly Bonded. It is best to socialize them early. A socialized pet is a perfect family pet.
These days, unowned and unbonded pet people are allowed to live as strays or "Frees" in certain designated areas. Some even hold "jobs." This is against their best interest, and owners who adopt these strays are to be rewarded. Still, the best place to get pets are from liscenced kennels or breeders.
Some masters find it beneficial to participate in activities with their pets, such as shows and other competitions.
Finally, much has been made about the sexual relationship between pet and master. This is a normal facet of the bond, and humans are sure to find pet people sexually alluring. But beyond that, it is only responsible and prudent for owners to care for their pet's needs. It is a well-known fact that the libidos of pet people are remarkably strong, and when they go into heat, it is usually more convenient for a master to relieve them. There is no risk of pregnancy. All rumors of hybrids are urban legends.
Despite this, masters must remember to not view their pets as romantic partners. Humans should stay with humans.

With that said, thank you and welcome to your first day as a pet's master!

>> how to play

Needless to say, The Care and Keeping of Your Pet is a bit biased and full of propaganda, but it gives a good idea of the world your character is now AU's into. They are either a pet person or a human master, and what that means for them varies.

So are they a devoted pet or a rebellious animal person looking to buck the system? A generous master or a cruel sexual sadist? Just a normal pet owner? Most likely they're something in between, but when you're raised in this world, it's difficult to see anything different on the horizon.

Rules

Comment with your character and say whether they'd be a master or a pet. Ideally, they could be played as both. Mention what kind of each they'd be and what they'd be like, (ie: "Xx-chan is a bunny girl who is happy to please her master" or "Asterothia is a cat boy who is aloof but loyal to his true master"). For pets, be sure to include features ("wolf ears, tail, teeth).

REMEMBER, pet does not automatically equal submissive and master automatically equal dominant. This is not a BDSM setting though BDSM can be included. How far you want to go with the actual "pet" aspect is up to you, as well. Your pet could just be your slightly-furry roommate or soulmate!
Comment to others.
Play out the scene.

>> prompts

This by no means an all-inclusive list, but it should get you going in the right direction.

First Time Pet/Owner: Usually, pets are gotten at a young age; you're an old dog. Can you learn new tricks?
True Bond: What all masters and pets yearn for...the pet's loyalty and adoration for life.
Love: It's expected for masters to love their pets, but to love them? Romance is strictly forbidden.
Old "Couple": Master and pet have grown together and know each other. You know, know each other.
Loss of Master: The pet has lost their master, perhaps even their True Bond. Is it possible to move on?
Young Master/Older Pet: Pets age quicker than masters, so it's possible to end up with a bit of an "age" difference.
Family Pet: This pet's been raised as part of the family. What happens when their feelings for a family member get more than platonic.
For Your Protection: You don't want to be a master, but you have to take in a pet for their protection lest they be in danger from the general public.
Stray: You're a stray or a "Free." Can you live like this with your biology screaming for you to make a match?
Servant: You're more servant than pet.
All Sex, All the Time: The only purpose for this pet is to service the master, and not in a way that means cleaning their house.
Guard: You're a loyal bodyguard, a service pet. You'll do anything for your master. Anything.
Pet Play: This is for those who prefer to keep their animals on leashes, have them eat from bowls, and keep away from clothing.
Breaking In: Training is important with any pet.
In Love with Another Master...or Pet: To lust after another's master is no better than treason, and to wish to be with another pet just cruel!
Punishment: Bad dog, no nookie!
Heat: All pets go into heat, and it's the responsibility of the owner to take care of this problem. After all, unchecked dry humping kills thousands every year.
Breeding: Breeders know the best qualities in each type and mate the cream of the crop together to continue lines. It's a hobby for some, a calling for others.
Territorial: Hey, hey, other dog person! This is your apartment. Stay the fuck out!
Kennel: Kennels are where unadopted pets are kept. They're generally agreed to be depressing places. Why not volunteer at one, keeping the pets healthy and happy with the kind of affection only humans can show?
Rebelling Against the System: Damn the Man! Pet people are people, too! Just be careful not to get talk. You know what happens to bad pets.
Instant Attraction: You ever just look at someone and know they're the one? That they're...your master? But what if you've been trying to fight it? Well, don't try!
Dominant Pet: You might be the pet, but you call the shots, at least in the bedroom.
Pet Show: Everyone wants to show off how perfect their animal is. Look at that ass! And you'll never believe their special skills...
Therapeutic: Pets, especially those bred for their kindliness, are perfect therapy for those who've been through trauma and heartache.
Jealousy: Who's that around your master? Oh, hell no. They better not be touching them!
Petting: Pet people are absolutely gaga for being touched. Even the most steely ones turn to mush for rubs.
Games: Playing with your pet and giving them exercise is a key to happiness. Of course, with a pet person, you might want to use other toys instead of a ball.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[The more Elsword explains, the more…inwardly frantic Vash becomes, not necessarily for a bad reason, but it’s the unknown that’s striking him suddenly.

Why?

Well the idea that it “doesn’t work on a human”, but presumably does with everything else? What does that even mean? What…could it, if Ain were to decide to mate with him anyway for the ritual aspect?

And so, too tipsy to stop himself while trying to understand, Vash raises his voice a little over the music and blurts:]

But I’m not human!

[What! Does it mean!! Help]

[Oh Lord this group is about to get a whole lot stupider.

Add is done at precisely that moment, and walks back and hears this declaration in time to drunkenly blurt out,]

I knew it! So you are a mole rat!

[because he's been convinced, by himself, for a week, that Vash is a mole rat based on the one (1) conversation they had.

Ain, naturally, comes over at that moment with two drinks, one for Vash and one for himself, and sits down next to his boyfriend like ?

Rose is leaving the discussion to go sing Taylor Swift songs. She has had Enough of y'all.

And everyone else...]

What're you talking about, Mr. Ancient? [Ain is slurring. Badly.] He's a Plant.

Like... a cactus? [asks Chung.]

That's a succulent. [argues Elsword.]

A cactus is still a type of plant! [Aisha is seconds from spilling her drink, and were it not for Elesis fixing the position of her wrist, she might've.]

Oh my god. [Ciel breathes,] He's not a fucking cactus.

[Vash...kindof wants to disappear. Just sink into the floor and never come back out. Why did he say that? That was something he'd been trying to, you know...keep to himself! Or at the very least, make it so that only Ain knew what was really going on. It was just easier to pass for a human down here, because trying to explain he was anything but wouldn't make much sense to the average person...and to someone who knew what he was talking about, it was dangerous. If rumors started circling topside...]

H-hold on-

[Vash tries to pump the breaks before things get out of hand, holding up both of his hands pleadingly as Add hops off the stage and accuses him of being a mole rat(???). Then, his head whips around to look at Ain- BABE???- before subsequently whipping back around to look at Chung.]

It's not-

[But they're still going, several of them likely convinced that he's a cactus of some sort, which he's almost willing to let them believe. Maybe they'd just end up forgetting later after sobering up?]

He didn't mean Plant, like...plant plant, he meant to say...uhh...

[Looks at Ain, pleadingly.]

Ppppplllastic! You know, like- because of my arm?

[Vash barks a desperate sounding laugh as he lifts said VERY METAL arm and wiggles the fingers, both Raven and Add know fucking better than this.]

[The funny thing about this is, yeah, a lot of people are going to forget at least part of the night or the conversation. There are several people in the room who are Not drunk enough to forget, namely Ciel who's still stone-cold sober five drinks into the night, and Raven who prefers to have more of a mellow drunk than a full-blown frat-party-style meltdown. And Eve, who is quietly sitting off to the side with her hands in her lap.

Everyone else, though, yeah, that's questionable. Rena is reaching for a bowl of pretzels on the table while Rose sings a shaky rendition of Love Story on-stage, but Rose will be caught up on Vash being a mole-rat-cactus soon enough.

Karaoke is not about supporting your friends and their drunken attempts to dance. Karaoke is about grilling your friend's boyfriend about his secret identity as a mole-rat-cactus while people use singing country pop as an excuse to bail on the conversation. Karaoke is about how much of an ass you can make of yourself in front of the people you value most in the world.

Chung is the first to break the silence.]

No offense, Vash! But I don't think Ain can really have plastic for a boyfriend.

Ohhh, yes, he can. You've seen the toys in his closest.

Mr. Half-Demon!! [WHY ARE YOU CALLING HIM OUT IN FRONT OF HIS BOYFRIEND] They're silicone! [this is not helping his case.]

Dude? [Now it's Elesis's turn to nearly spill her drink.] The fake dicks in Ain's closet have nothing to do with the fact that his boyfriend photosynthesizes.

[Raven, meanwhile, has his head in his hand. Oh God. And Rose is going for another Taylor Swift song up there, hogging the fucking mic, so he's forced to be the voice of reason instead of bailing.] I don't think Vash is a mole rat or a literal plant, guys.

[Everyone is once more talking at once, and Vash kindof wishes HE could have a turn at karaoke…at least then he would be able to escape, but you can’t escape when the topic is all about you. Well. Mostly about you. Vash would be lying if he said his ears didn’t perk at the topic of Ain’s plastic boyfriends, as someone who has never actually seen or held a dildo in his hands before-]

Uhh-

[Vash purses his lips, leaning into Ain a bit as the group continues to jabber, with only Raven acting as the voice of reason. As convenient as misunderstandings are…he feels bad for lying. There’s not much else he could say, and it’s clearly just confusing them more.

He sighs, bringing his hand up to his cheek, whispering to Ain.]

I should…probably explain. But it might just be more confusing…

[Silicone boyfriends! Come on, plastic doesn't clean well!

Vash leans in to whisper to him and Ain full-on clonks their heads together like they're about to snuggle, because he is... Fucked Up two drinks into the night, and about to start on a third when the lovely bartender sees them making asses of themselves and politely brings them more drinks. It takes him a genuine minute of snuggling before he realises Vash even spoke to him over the grating sounds of Taylor Swift.]

Mm... you can trust them. Mr. Ancient thinks you're a groundhog. [mole rat.] He's onto you, and you don't want him onto you. He knows how to get information. He's like...

[Ain flip flops his wrist around, then sinks into the back of the pleather couch. Comfy.]

One of those. You know? Like in movies. A... [English is leaving him,] Superspion. Der bisexueller Hacker.

[why]

[He has no idea what you just called him, Ain, but he trusts you with his life so…

He looks back towards the group. Sighs. Closes his eyes for a moment. Then, he lets the couch hold his boyfriend for a moment as he sits forward again, reaching out to pick up the drink Ain brought him, thanks.]

Um- guys! [He calls a little louder, hopefully over Taylor Swift so he can actually try to explain.] I…I can explain. It might be a little hard to believe, though…

[And if Ain trusts them…Vash trusts them, drunk or not.

So he’ll begin to explain, telling them about the existence of Plants- that they are alien beings and not actual plant life- and that he was born from one. In an unprecedented event, he exists with both human and plant genes in him. He doesn’t mention Nai, nor does he talk about where he lived before. Just that that’s…what he is.]

[The good news is that the fucking marathon of country pop will stop when people start waving Rose over. The speakers flip to a default sort of bouncy techno track while the system waits for a song to be chosen, so it's not noiseless. It is, in fact, still quite loud.

For what it's worth, the group of drunk assholes and their robot chauffeur listen, and they do it well. This information will not be forgotten. Maybe lost in translation, but Eve will correct it. She, at least, feels this whole "non-human, very foreign" kinship with Vash.

Meanwhile, the rest of her friends are drunk assholes who are Trying Their Best, which will result in various comments at the end.]

Oh, dude, you didn't have to come out of the alien closet right now.

Fuck. Aliens are cooler than mole rats. [thanks add]

Do you speak Alien? Is that a language?

Whoaaaaaa. Maybe you and Ain mating will work out after all! [Thanks, Elsword, now it's Ain's turn on the embarrassed. Girl what were you talking about before he sat down!!]

U-uhhh…

[Ain he is. So sorry. They’ve been talking about your mating habits while you were singing the pina colada song-]

It’s okay, really! I figured I’d end up telling you guys eventually…and I trust you’ll not say anything about it to anyone else.

[Like just putting that out there, he doubts it would be TOO much of an issue but you know what they say about too many cooks…]

The bottom line is I’m not human…but I’m not really a pet either. I’m…something different.

[He’s an outcast, who doesn’t fit in or belong in this world, yet manages to pass just well enough for living here to be possible.]

I still speak the same language you do, since it’s what I was taught- [Again, NOT bringing up his ability to communicate and connect with other Plants, which typically do not “speak”.] -and…I….really don’t know if it will make much of a difference. With that.

[You know. Mating.]

[Chung nodding like that makes sense but he was really hoping you spoke some really cool foreign language. Like how Ain speaks German! But it would be weirder and probably sound more horrifying. Sometimes Ain says the nicest things in German and it sounds like he's being yelled at, that's how German Be.

The group keeps secrets well, though, so there's no worries about that issue. Rena comments that Vash "smells human" so that's why they were confused, obviously, but it'll make the secret easier to keep. With the serious discussion out of the way, Raven gives something of a smile before nodding his head toward the stage, where Ciel gets up to follow after him. He Will Not be doing this alone thank you.

Karaoke is back on, and Rose is stealing Raven's seat on the couch.]

Haha, I haven't explained to Vash how it works yet, and if you steal that from me, I'll lock you in the freezer.

[Ain is all smiles as he says that, even though Ara is kind of right when she quietly says "you should probably tell him?", but Ain waves her off. They'll talk about it in private because he knows having an entire discussion about how much nasty sex they'd have is going to make him have to leave early. We are not doing this. And you guys are not explaining to his boyfriend how to dick down.]

Great. Did I escape the sausage party discussion?

[Rose is... very Gay also, you see. Like, she will get up and do something else at certain points to avoid the discussion of dicks, sort of like how Ain will do it if it has to deal with boobs. They have T-minus 15 minutes until the girls entirely take over and the discussion is less "what's our good pal Ain doing with that nice alien boy :)" and more "why do we have to wear bras, anyway?"]

No, 'cause we still gotta know... Vash. [Elesis leans forward. Tents her fingers in front of her face.] Does Ain treat you right?

[why would you mate with someone if the sex is bad y'know?]

[Ain tells everyone sweetly how he’d stuff them in a freezer, and man maybe Vash is just starting to get super drunk, but that’s kinda hot-

He manages to shake that thought off as Raven and Ciel shuffle away and Rose returns after singing what must have been the 10th Taylor Swift song. Then, Elesis is going immediately for the kill, and Vash…]

…yes?

[ :3?

He doesn’t know what she means.]

[Vash honey if you wanna be shoved in a freezer and have it be a kink thing by all means, Ain will play with you. He's still gotta show his beloved Plant bf what temperature play is anyway.

So, while everyone else is understanding exactly what Elesis means in this moment, Vash is not. All Ain does is lay against his boyfriend's shoulder to let this conversation happen. DOES he treat you right, babe?

Meanwhile, a metal rendition of Total Eclipse Of The Heart plays.]

Really? You don't sound too sure. You can be honest.

Ms. Knight-Captain... I'm the nicest partner ever! Not that you would know, of course.

[Because Ain doesn't fuck with women. These two will continue to be vaguely suggestive about this whole conversation until Ciel and Raven are done reliving their band era, at which point they'll switch out, because Aisha is dragging Rena and Ara up with her. Rose, meanwhile, knows where this is headed, and excuses herself to get them more drinks and snacks, even though there's still a shitton of snacks on the table.

There's a brief "what are we talking about?" and then "Elesis is grilling Vash on if Ain is good to him" and it goes back and forth, again, until finally Ciel catches wind that Vash doesn't exactly get it and just blurts out:]

She's asking if he puts you first in bed. You know, [sips drink,] if he actually makes you cum or not.

[Elesis, leaning forward with interest, she'll smack a fuckboy if Ain's being a fuckboy she's not afraid of him OR the freezer]

[It’s quite the comical exchange, because throughout the whole thing, Vash has no idea what they’re actually talking about. Ain slurs that he loves him and takes good care of him, and Vash is just like yeah Ain is great I love him :3 we went to the garden today it was very fun, and that’s probably when Ciel realizes he’s clueless.

Vash is about a third of the way through his fourth mojito, actually mid sip, when Ciel gives him a more blunt answer, which results in Vash choking some of it back into his glass. He coughs into his arm for a minute before looking at Ain to see if he’s reacted at all- he may be asleep- and then turning to look back at the rest of the group. Staring.

Oh.]

He…

[Vash sinks into his jacket a bit like a turtle, because he’s IMMEDIATELY thinking of the last time they had sex, in which Ain edged him until he cried. He’s very, very red.]

Yes…he does….

[Ain is warm and comfortable and not asleep, but he sure is nuzzling into Vash's neck and cooing in that bird way he does. Lots of happy little mockingbird noises while Vash becomes a turtle.

Meanwhile, the crowd of frat boys goes wild. Sarcastic, drunken applause. A comment of "I'm glad you're not a fuckboy!" and then Elesis following that up with "I was gonna take him out back and whoop his ass if he was bad to you", and then two comments that overlap with each other, one being Ciel's and the other being Elsword's.]

Oh, you're the bottom?

Does Ain edge you to the point of tears, too??

[The point when the girls drunkenly talk about bras could not come sooner, honestly.]

[Oh my god there’s so much happening. Vash sits up a bit more again, a sort of confused smile twitching onto his face. He’s being cheered for and it’s all very ????? while Ain snuggles into his side and coos in his ear gently.

Then, Vash sits UP.]

Too??

Uhh... haha, well, it's been a while! [AIN DO YOU NOT TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND LITERALLY ANYTHING] A couple years!

[Ain sits up, grabs a handful of popcorn chicken, flops back against Vash's shoulder, and starts munching. It's only when he's halfway through that he realises others are waiting for him to explain, and so he carefully puts his hand down, away from his mouth. Swallows. Then:]

I told you I slept around a lot before we met, right? Me and the guys all had a... [flips wrist about] few turns.

[turns??? turns on what? the dick???]

[No, in fact! He tells him NOTHING!! Vash only recently found out the guy had magic, now he's learning he's slept with every person in here (barring the women), including himself. And the thing is, Vash isn't even mad? He knew Ain had multiple partners before he ever came in the picture.

He just. Didn't think he'd be meeting them...especially not in close quarters while everyone is drunk and apparently very willing to share Stories about it.

He decides to knock back another quarter of his drink because holy shit he's ready to be white girl wasted now he doesn't want to think anymore, sweet release of alcohol please carry him away.

Vash doesn't want to say he's worried about if he performed well compared to everyone else, but also...]

So none of you......mated. Right?

[Vash honey remember it's like marriage-]

[Head shakes all around, some more rapid than others. Add is Standing Up And Leaving Bye. The girls singing are done now, he's grabbing Rose from the bar before she brings more drinks over to them and they are going to humiliate themselves with karaoke because singing fucking Maroon 5 is far far better than the thought, the mere suggestion that he and Ain could ever ever ever be mated for life eugh gross get away from him.

And this is only like maybe 1/4th of all the guys Ain has slept with, okay, remember that asshole who left him tied to the bed and walked out on him? Do we have to rehash that story because Ain would LOVE to talk shit.

Anyway. In case Vash for some reason takes Add's abrupt departure as a yes...]

Haha, no, not at all. A lot of it was spur of the moment, but no one actually mated with me. [Now. Ain would love to tell Vash who did wind up sleeping together and actually made a full pet-marriage out of the act, but that's for them to disclose. Instead, he leans in to kiss Vash's cheek all soft-like, and whispers softly,] I'm still waiting for you to sink your teeth into me.

[There's your hint for the evening, have another kiss, and then Ain's going back to snacking.]

I've never wanted to bind myself to anybody permanently before you. [Group "awws" except for Ciel who just sort of snorts into his glass like alright buddy you get that alien dick.]

[Oh bye Add. Honestly, Vash knows Add well(?) enough that by now, he can assume he's just embarrassed by sentiment. Disgusting, etc. It's not that he dislikes Ain or anything, he's just very tsun about it, Vash has experience with those types.

Ough. That last drink he had before this one is finally catching up with him...he can feel the room beginning to swim a little as they talk, but more than that, he just finds that he's caring a bit...less about everything. Rather, he's not embarrassed to be talking about this, even though everyone here is now VERY aware that Ain has fucked him into a smear at this point. He gives a soft sort of acknowledging sound at Ain's kiss, at least until he says that into his ear and just.

Makes Vash die? He's so red, now. If he had a tail like everyone else, it would be beating the couch. Ain why would you do this to him when they're still very much at Karaoke and he can't put his tongue down your throat in front of everyone.

...well. He could. He definitely COULD. But is he drunk enough yet for that...

Vash lifts a free hand to rub the back of his neck, looking appropriately sheepish.]

A-ahah, well...I never...thought I'd be with anybody...period, you know? It makes me really happy.

[Like honestly Chung is over here looking like he's going to cry, how dare you guys be sooooo cute (he has no idea what Ain whispered in Vash's ear) you guys are adorable he supports you so much please let him be the ring bearer at your human wedding—

Eventually, the conversation will turn around to something less overtly sexual but still fratboyish. Aka: Vash, can you sing. Do you like singing? Why don't you and Ain go do a duet. :) They're here for you. They're here to cheer you on.

Ain is pulling Vash up onto the stage. Hi babe what do you like singing? Do you know Moana—]

[Vash probably(?) does not, but that won't stop him from getting up there and drunkenly stumbling along with the lyrics anyway. He's reached past the point of no return, he doesn't even have to be convinced to get up there, even though- yes- he's not really much of a singer at all, though he does like it. He's always been very musically inclined, just perhaps...not quite so much as his brother.

So if yall wanted to see Vash get up there with his bird boyfriend and make a fool of himself, now is your chance. Maybe the girls can start talking about something less gouache, like smuggling snacks home in their purses.]

[Great news, it's easy to stumble through Disney lyrics because no one really knows what they are. Like who even remembers the lyrics to Be Our Guest. Clearly not Ain when that comes next on that specific tracklist and he slurs out French like it's an eldritch incantation.

When they sit down to switch out with others, the girls are, indeed, trying to drunkenly jenga tower snacks into Rena's bag. Which goes as expected. "Put the gummy bears on the bottom" and "wait don't take the pretzels I'm not done with the pretzels" and "do you think chicken wings will fit in your purse or is that too messy" followed by "I can shove three chicken wings in my mouth at once". This conversation, as they might find out watching this, was preceded by such facts as "I just had to run to the bathroom to rip the underwire out of my bra because it was stabbing me in the ribs" and "like honestly if I didn't have a uterus, I'd be happier".

So you know. Girl stuff. This is what girls are about. It's not naked pillow fights, it's not gossip, it's about the most innocuous shit leading up to the kidnapping of several innocent snacks. At one point, Elesis yells something about how Swedish Fish aren't even Swedish (they are) and it sparks an argument. Because how could you not know. The Swedes are in the label on the bag.

Just when you'd think things are winding down for the night, since the barkeeper has revoked their alcohol because Jesus Christ You Guys... the topic of bands comes up, and then further Ain lore is revealed: he and Ciel and Raven did try to start a band once. And so did a lot of people, apparently. They've got a few more songs in them to try to sober up before they all go home (Chung is passed out on the couch dead asleep), so.

While Add tasks Vash with seeing how many oreos he can steal from Rena's purse when she's watching the stage, because might as well be a gremlin about stuff right, the former bandmates will get on stage and sing their rendition of Bubblegum Bitch. A totally normal song for Ain, maybe, but completely unnatural for Ciel and Raven.]

[Somewhere mid singing with Ain up on stage, Vash finally succumbs to the alcohol. He is no longer tipsy, or even a little bit drunk. He is full on schwasted, which is probably for the best. It's more fun when you're drunk and having a good time, of which he is very much. He gets up there and sings his heart out even though he has to lean on Ain for support half the time, and by the time they make it back to the couch for a break, he's totally invested in the girls' experiments in trying to get as many snacks into Rena's purse as is humanely possible. It's fascinating, really.

But that couldn't be more interesting than the idea that Ain was in a band once- like wtf you don't tell him ANYTHING babe- and that ends up capturing Vash's attention, and though Vash will help Add with his crimes because he wants Add to be his friend and like him, most of his attention is still on Ain...watching him sing and perform...wow. Wow, he loves him. Look at him. That's his boyfriend. Wow.

Singing Bubblegum Bitch]

[Add is faintly disgusted by you two.

Anyway, Ain doesn't share things about himself because he doesn't know how to person. That's really it. It's not that he's hiding anything, it's that he doesn't Get he's supposed to share things outside of stuff that sort of just comes up. Normal people think of a story to tell and a conversation to have, even if it's random or dumb. Ain simply doesn't connect the social dots enough to understand that, so when he tries, he comes across very stinted and awkward.

Have fun with your awkward bird.

Enough rounds to wake Chung up and have him drink some water later, they're done for the night, which means stumbling back to base as one really intoxicated unit. Like an anthill given fermented fruit. The people who promised to put the extra work in for this outing are going to be working to death tomorrow, even if a lot of them are exempt from the usual work laws here (like, Add manning the whole electrical grid with Eve means he mostly gets by that way because without them, uhhhh...). It doesn't concern Ain or Vash, though. They got their own shit to do tomorrow. Or whenever they can. Ain did warn the gardens and the restaurant that he was getting fucked up tonight. Hangovers are a bitch.

At least the walk home sobers a lot of people up. Ain can tell that Chung will be dead on the floor tomorrow, though. Either way...

Either way. He's putting Aisha aside to ask for that soundproofing spell and she immediately spins it as "you're gonna mate with him TONIGHT?" and Ain has to very causally say no, God no, but he wants to fool around. She stops him there. Have your enchantment, have fun, do not mate with that boy until you tell him that the hell that even entails because he's clueless.

Back to the room they go, and the Dachies will clear themselves out whenever the boys get riled up in each other. Whenever that happens. They don't want to be here for it.]

[Enter the portion of the night where things blur just a little bit, for Vash. Now, he's drank before. He's had alcohol. But never has he drunk to the point of getting THIS drunk. So drunk that he can barely stand upright without help, or speak without slurring his words and giggling about everything. That's where he's at presently, and it's genuinely the most carefree he's felt in decades. A sort of "I'm here for a good time, not a long time" feeling, and he doesn't care about potential dangers, or things he's been worrying about...any of that. He's with a group of people he's started to come to know as not just good friends, but family. And he has Ain, the most important person to him in the world right now.

It's almost too good to be true, and it would be if Vash were at all sober enough to let that notion seep through.

He's laughing and conversing with the others as they wobble their way back, probably making a spectacle of themselves to any other locals who happen to be outside this time of night. It's very clear this group of pets +1 human have been having a good time tonight, and while the blast of cool air does help Vash sober up a little, it's not going to kill the feel-good buzz.

He misses the conversation with Aisha because he's too busy telling the others goodnight, he had a great time, he loves you goodbye. And the Dachies get the same treatment once they're back to Ain's room, Vash picking up both of them in turn and giving them little kisses on their heads before setting them back down.

Then it's Ain's turn, as Vash wanders back his way and kisses his forehead. Kiss kiss.]

I looove you Ain. You were so pretty on stage...so handsome...

PET PERSON MEME

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Filed under dumbest tags I've ever written

A+ 10/10 no notes

update: i lied this one is the dumbest

I love them so much

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