Entry tags:

i am robbing bakerstreet again

PET PERSON MEME

>> premise

Hello, and welcome to The Care and Keeping of Your Pet! As you surely know, a pet is a big responsibility, and we're so glad you've decided to be a concientious master. A safe pet is a happy pet, and this handbook is certain to keep your precious lifelong friend as content as can be.

The history of the animal person is a long and difficult one, with their origins not being known even to this day. However, scientists believe that despite our common appearance - most animal people have humanoid forms except for the ears, tails, and sometimes teeth - we share no common ancestry, even if the ascent of this species corresponds with that of the homo sapien. We gained dominance over each breed thousands of years ago, beginning with the dog type, who have long been considered "man's best friend." Most breeds these days are docile and perfect for owners of any speed.

Of course, it is our duty as the superior species to take care of these animal creatures, and this is inherent in their genetic makeup. Everyone knows that an animal person, when matched with their correct human master, is loyal for life - a true "soulmate," if you will. Far be it for us to turn this away! Ever since the Great Domestication, these intelligent and loving animals have served us as friends, workmates, guardians, servants, and sexual companions and will for years to come. Despite recent hubbub from so-called "Pet People's Rights Activists," this way of life is wholesome and good. Scientific research shows that the natural desire of the pet person is to be owned and cared for by a human.

So, it's your first pet. What do you need to know?

As previously stated, pet people come in as many breeds as you can possibly think of. By far and away the most popular are the dog and cat types, but exotic birds and lizards have been gaining popularity among trendsetters from L.A. to Tokyo!
All pet types are best suited for certain jobs, and when hunting for one, it is best to search for a type that suits your needs best.
However, a "True Match" - when a pet person bonds with you and only you for the rest of their natural lives - comes naturally, and sometimes takes time before you can find the pet you will be able to give a forever home to.
According to all current research, pet people are completely sentient and like us in many ways. However, it is important to remember that they have many animalistic and feral characteristics. Do not be foolish and think that your pet is a person, despite the facts that many are clothed and may be allowed to read, write, and have "hobbies." Some traditional pet owners may eschew these frivolities, and that is within their right.
Pet people age more quickly than humans, at least physically, and many types have long lifespans. It is not uncommon for pets to be passed through the family. When getting your child their first pet, it's important to keep in mind that just because the pup is tiny now, a grown pet can be jumpy around a small child.
It is important to train a pet. Discipline will be necessary. This does not make you a bad owner. Failure to train early will result in a rebellious pet. Training is especially important if you want your pet to serve as a household servant.
Remember, your pet will be extremely protective of you, especially if you are Truly Bonded. It is best to socialize them early. A socialized pet is a perfect family pet.
These days, unowned and unbonded pet people are allowed to live as strays or "Frees" in certain designated areas. Some even hold "jobs." This is against their best interest, and owners who adopt these strays are to be rewarded. Still, the best place to get pets are from liscenced kennels or breeders.
Some masters find it beneficial to participate in activities with their pets, such as shows and other competitions.
Finally, much has been made about the sexual relationship between pet and master. This is a normal facet of the bond, and humans are sure to find pet people sexually alluring. But beyond that, it is only responsible and prudent for owners to care for their pet's needs. It is a well-known fact that the libidos of pet people are remarkably strong, and when they go into heat, it is usually more convenient for a master to relieve them. There is no risk of pregnancy. All rumors of hybrids are urban legends.
Despite this, masters must remember to not view their pets as romantic partners. Humans should stay with humans.

With that said, thank you and welcome to your first day as a pet's master!

>> how to play

Needless to say, The Care and Keeping of Your Pet is a bit biased and full of propaganda, but it gives a good idea of the world your character is now AU's into. They are either a pet person or a human master, and what that means for them varies.

So are they a devoted pet or a rebellious animal person looking to buck the system? A generous master or a cruel sexual sadist? Just a normal pet owner? Most likely they're something in between, but when you're raised in this world, it's difficult to see anything different on the horizon.

Rules

Comment with your character and say whether they'd be a master or a pet. Ideally, they could be played as both. Mention what kind of each they'd be and what they'd be like, (ie: "Xx-chan is a bunny girl who is happy to please her master" or "Asterothia is a cat boy who is aloof but loyal to his true master"). For pets, be sure to include features ("wolf ears, tail, teeth).

REMEMBER, pet does not automatically equal submissive and master automatically equal dominant. This is not a BDSM setting though BDSM can be included. How far you want to go with the actual "pet" aspect is up to you, as well. Your pet could just be your slightly-furry roommate or soulmate!
Comment to others.
Play out the scene.

>> prompts

This by no means an all-inclusive list, but it should get you going in the right direction.

First Time Pet/Owner: Usually, pets are gotten at a young age; you're an old dog. Can you learn new tricks?
True Bond: What all masters and pets yearn for...the pet's loyalty and adoration for life.
Love: It's expected for masters to love their pets, but to love them? Romance is strictly forbidden.
Old "Couple": Master and pet have grown together and know each other. You know, know each other.
Loss of Master: The pet has lost their master, perhaps even their True Bond. Is it possible to move on?
Young Master/Older Pet: Pets age quicker than masters, so it's possible to end up with a bit of an "age" difference.
Family Pet: This pet's been raised as part of the family. What happens when their feelings for a family member get more than platonic.
For Your Protection: You don't want to be a master, but you have to take in a pet for their protection lest they be in danger from the general public.
Stray: You're a stray or a "Free." Can you live like this with your biology screaming for you to make a match?
Servant: You're more servant than pet.
All Sex, All the Time: The only purpose for this pet is to service the master, and not in a way that means cleaning their house.
Guard: You're a loyal bodyguard, a service pet. You'll do anything for your master. Anything.
Pet Play: This is for those who prefer to keep their animals on leashes, have them eat from bowls, and keep away from clothing.
Breaking In: Training is important with any pet.
In Love with Another Master...or Pet: To lust after another's master is no better than treason, and to wish to be with another pet just cruel!
Punishment: Bad dog, no nookie!
Heat: All pets go into heat, and it's the responsibility of the owner to take care of this problem. After all, unchecked dry humping kills thousands every year.
Breeding: Breeders know the best qualities in each type and mate the cream of the crop together to continue lines. It's a hobby for some, a calling for others.
Territorial: Hey, hey, other dog person! This is your apartment. Stay the fuck out!
Kennel: Kennels are where unadopted pets are kept. They're generally agreed to be depressing places. Why not volunteer at one, keeping the pets healthy and happy with the kind of affection only humans can show?
Rebelling Against the System: Damn the Man! Pet people are people, too! Just be careful not to get talk. You know what happens to bad pets.
Instant Attraction: You ever just look at someone and know they're the one? That they're...your master? But what if you've been trying to fight it? Well, don't try!
Dominant Pet: You might be the pet, but you call the shots, at least in the bedroom.
Pet Show: Everyone wants to show off how perfect their animal is. Look at that ass! And you'll never believe their special skills...
Therapeutic: Pets, especially those bred for their kindliness, are perfect therapy for those who've been through trauma and heartache.
Jealousy: Who's that around your master? Oh, hell no. They better not be touching them!
Petting: Pet people are absolutely gaga for being touched. Even the most steely ones turn to mush for rubs.
Games: Playing with your pet and giving them exercise is a key to happiness. Of course, with a pet person, you might want to use other toys instead of a ball.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Cake?

[Vash leans forward a little, still with like, two fries sticking out of his mouth.]

We're getting cake. We have to get cake.

[This is like, not a question. They WILL be getting cake and working another three or four days to pay for it, probably.

The burger, as expected, is very good. It's a hamburger, it's going to be good if you like that sort of thing, and Vash absolutely does. Though, he is finding the water he ordered to be a bit less satisfying than the lemonade Ciel brought him...and every so often he glances at Ain's like :C man I should have gotten something tastier. But that's what fruity alcohol at karaoke is for.

He polishes off the burger in record time, along with the fries undoubtedly with Ain's help, and the very next time their waitress comes by, Vash asks if they can have the chocolate cake. It means that the cake gets brought by right around the time they finish their food. And is Vash too full to eat cake?

Absolutely the fuck not, he is staring at it like ouo]

Ooooohhh...

[Do you ever just look at a man and have heart palpitations because he's just so damn adorable, because that is Ain right now. Ain is losing his goddamn mind, quietly, thinking Vash is so very charming when he gets excited about life's simple pleasures. Good god. He's going to learn to cook and make you so many cakes babe.

Ugh. He wants to melt into his seat. He could watch Vash be excited about food any day. Any time. One day they're going to have a bajillion million moneys and Ain is going to take him on a food tour.

Now, it seems like it was a good idea to ask for one to share, because Ain is not a black hole (he's fairly full, actually) but also this cake is bigger than he thought it would be. It must be half the reason Ciel recommended the place, as a baker himself. The lava cake isn't cut yet, so it just looks like a normal chocolate cake with a sugar dusting.

Ain props his chin in his palm.]

Why don't you cut into it first?

[He wants to see Vash's face when the lava cake goes gwooooosh.]

[Vash was having his "oh no I'm gay" moment earlier, so now it's Ain's turn to suffer too. He obviously has no idea any of this is happening, his focus captured by the cake, which may be one of the most beautiful things he's ever seen. He carefully reaches for one of the forks it came with (the waitress bought two for sharing, despite knowing probably only one fork would be used here), nodding. Vash has never had a lava cake before, so...

He cuts it open, and the moment he does, all of that melted chocolate on the inside comes gushing out. It's not so liquid that it gets everywhere though, just viscous enough to mostly keep its shape while oozing out of it.

Vash...is mesmerized.]

A-haha! Ain, look! It's got chocolate inside!

[Ain gets immediate serotonin from the way Vash gets so excited about the concept of a lava cake, hello... he knew he made the right decision here. He can't help but grin about it.]

That's why they call it a lava cake! Haha, it oozes out when you cut into it. You can make them with peanut butter, too. And caramel, I think?

[Ain doesn't have all the facts about baking, he just eats whatever he's given. That said, maybe it's a good thing the waitress brought two forks, because Ain's digging in to offer up a bite to Vash. Passing the fork around would be goofy.]

Here. Say "aah"~.

[Holy shit, a peanut butter one sounds like it might just kill him for real, but like. In a good way. Suffice it to say he'll want to come back here if they can while they're staying here, to see if they have something like that.

In the meantime though, Ain is offering him a bite, and Vash doesn't hesitate to let Ain feed it to him. It's incredibly rich as expected, and the cake itself is still warm. It's very filling for someone who has just had a full meal, yet Vash seems completely unphased. Surely he'd eventually get sick if he ate too much....]

Uwaaah...it's shoooo gooooddd....

[They can totally come back. Ain doesn't plan to leave any time soon; they need to gameplan how to get Nai off Vash's ass (haha) and how to clear Vash's name (haha.) and he wants to hang out with everyone and his darling human-passing boyfriend. And they have a bed, and a bathroom with a reasonably-sized bathtub! Fun facts, in the apartments, Ain and Aisha are the two with the largest bathtubs solely because they are Birds and they must Worsh. Raven has the third largest on account of being Raven. That man is the size of the fucking sun.

Anyway! Still infinitely charmed and forever-swooning, Ain leans heavily into his palm with a dreamy expression and keeps feeding Vash bites. He's so...... cute. God he's so cute. Everything about him is goddamn adorable and it's not fair. Ain wants to bite him.]

Aww, haha. Did this make your day?

Mmm, mmhm!

[Hold on his mouth is like, FULL of cake, please hold.

Vash does at least try to chew and swallow instead of talking with his mouth full, though that doesn't really help the way he's got chocolate on his face, now. Ain could have had perfect aim and it would have still gotten on his face, it's melted chocolate.]

I'm gonna eat it all at this rate!

[Said as he reaches down for the other fork to grab a piece of the cake before he's demolished the entire damn thing, offering Ain a bit to try as well.]

You're not too full for some, are you?

[oh wow if they were not in public he would be Licking that off of Vash's lips.

Ain answers that question first by leaning forward to take his own bite of the cake, and he, too, winds up with chocolate on his face that he attempts to lick off his lips. Chocolate, as it turns out, is fairly sticky.]

No, I'm not too full. A little full, but I really wanted you to have the first bites.

[These two are going to be Covered in powdered sugar and chocolate, staring at each other like they're in a romance movie, and all the pets around them are like damn I wish someone would look at me the way that bird is looking at his human-passing black hole.]

[It really is something special they both have here...or maybe neither of them have shame between the two, and they're perfectly content being all gross in public knowing that it isn't going to get them arrested. To that end, Vash's lips quirk into a crooked smile as Ain has a taste for himself, no doubt resulting in the two of them taking turns having bites of cake (read: FEEDING bites to each other) until the cake has been polished off. Even Vash is finally feeling full after all of that...or maybe satisfied is the better answer.

Instead of wiping his mouth with a napkin like a normal person, he simply uses the edge of his thumb to get the chocolate off before proceeding to lick his fingers clean. You know, like an adult.

...and then he uses said fingers to do the same to Ain, I'm so sorry.]

You got chocolate on your face!

[SIR! Were it not for the laws of this land, your fingers would be in his mouth!

...which is to say, like with the flower being tucked behind his ear earlier, Ain is now bright red and briefly stunned. This time, it's not due to princely behaviour on Vash's part, or even cute aggression. It's just pure unadulterated horny. And they have evening plans. Fuck.

Ain mentally tells himself to get it together while his eyes trace the curve of Vash's lips and tongue and oh god is he going to make it through singing the piña colada song now?? Urgh.]

Lava cake is messy.

[He says, because if he doesn't say that he'll say something Else, and then they really won't make it to a 13-people chorus of Gay or European tonight.]

I'm surprised you're not licking the plate clean!

I might have, if it was my plate.

[But they're in public, that seems rather rude...and who knows, they might be the ones having to wash these dishes and stuff at some point. Vash will behave and Not Do That for the time being, but it's halfway also because he's just...waaaay too full. Oh my god he ate so much food. Maybe that will save him from wanting to eat too many snacks at karaoke (this is wrong he will eat all the snacks).

He takes one last drink of his water, leaning back into his own seat with a satisfied sigh.]

Woof, I think that's enough though...I'm gonna explode...

[Vash seems very pleased. He is thriving. Thank you for feeding him so well Ain he loves u]

It's still kindof early...should we head back?

Haha, yes. We can lounge around for a while before we head out again.

[Haha. "Lounge". Or in their case... they're going to go home to "chill" which means they will be on each other within five minutes of putting their stuff down.

Ain only manages to remember self-control at the last second, but still. Vash tastes like chocolate and sugar, all things Ain likes, and he looks damn good pressed against the wall too. It's been a week and a half, okay, and the whole idea is to take the edge off before they go party for a couple hours. Just one makeout session (or three). One moment of Ain putting his hands where they don't belong just real quick. A couple hickies left under Vash's high collar. No big deal. They've gotten it out of their systems. :)

(They have not. It makes getting up for karaoke all the more difficult. But they must; he needs to ask Aisha to cast Silence on his room before they get too freaky.)

So, in the evening, they go to karaoke. It's up to Vash if he wants to wear the flower crown or not; Ain has his clipped flower in a vase of water on his desk so that it doesn't fall out while they're partying. The karaoke bar isn't too far, if a twenty-minute walk "isn't too far" anyway, and it's just their group here for the night. Elsword likely pulled some strings to get that arrangement, but hey. Party hard.

Everyone arrives at roughly the same time; the girls are usually early to events, minus Elesis who walks in about five minutes late looking like she sprinted here. Add is always punctual and arrives right on time. Ciel for some reason has taken over the bar until a staff member shoos him away to go have fun, but at that point, they have their first round of cocktails already made. Like in the five minutes the bar was unmanned this man just got up there and made martinis. Why.

Either way, the party begins in earnest with that motherfucking pina colada song, which Ain knows about half the lyrics to, and after gunning a martini (bad idea, don't do that) he and Rose are on stage belting and stumbling over the words they don't know. Which is like, 60% of the song. Who really knows that song, anyway?

So, uh. Everyone is in for alcohol poisoning tonight. And hot goss. The only person who can't actually get drunk is Eve, due to being a robot. Add normally doesn't drink, but he's convinced by Ciel after a bit to just have a little bit. Rena does shots like a jilted 45 year old woman who's had Enough of her kids.

It's shaping up to be A Night.]

[Yeah uh

Going back home to “chill” doesn’t. Work. At least not exactly in the way either of them thought it would. They almost immediately start making out as soon as the door closes, and it takes every scrap of willpower not to just back out of karaoke in favor of staying home and “chill”ing. It doesn’t help that Ain is handsy and Vash is craving those feelings Ain made him feel the last time they did this…it’s a straight up miracle he doesn’t walk out of the room with a boner. He manages to skirt that, thankfully, but the horny doesn’t leave him. Far from it, in fact.

At least he gets lots of kissing in. He tries to make each count, until they’re whispering each others’ names on their lips. Ugh. Awful. All Vash can think about are getting wrapped up in those wings and being edged near to the point if torture but cest la vie-

He decides to remove the flower crown to keep in Ain’s room, not wanting it to get damaged or lost while they’re out. It would keep better in a climate controlled environment anyway, he thinks. Which means he won’t be wearing that, but he WILL be wearing a bunch of jewelry he sure as hell didn’t have before, uh.

On arrival, and on having a drink for himself, Vash realizes straight away that if all of the drinks are fruity…he’s really going to have to pace himself if he wants to not be hammered hour one. Not that he realizes that he is one of the strongest tolerances in this room. One glass isn’t going to touch him really; it will take a couple before he really starts feeling it. For now though, he’s happy to watch Ain sing because when does he not love hearing his boyfriend sing?

Sighs wistfully. He’s not doing a very good job of masking how gay he is for this bird.]

[No, he is not, and Vash's state of... sparkliness does turn heads and raise brows. Nobody's going to say anything until the alcohol hits. For some people (Add, Chung) that's after a single martini. For others, it's two glasses of whatever fruity girly drink they've got until they're tipsy enough to lose their filters. Believe it or not, this group usually has a collective filter.

They rotate in and out a few times, and it's only when Ain is up on stage again drunkenly belting out the lyrics to Sway that Elsword bothers to speak up.

The frat boy talk begins.]

You and Ain had fun today, huh? Do you like jewelry?

[Like. Guys. Tap into the collective braincell here. What if Vash is just decorating Himself.]

[You know, it makes almost too much sense that it’s Elsword that says something first. Too bad Vash is too stupid and gay to know that maybe he shouldn’t just answer like-]

Hm? Oh, I do! But I didn’t buy all of this…Ain picked it out for me.

[ :) ]

[Oh girl. Elesis just guns and entire mimosa, fuck it, bye. Catch her chugging and nearly choking when Ain's voice cracks on a note on stage. Man, that only happens when he's absolutely putting zero effort in and/or white girl wasted. Could be both.

Anyway, the whole group is just. Looking. Collective braincell is trying to parse how to respond. God bless Chung who just—]

Oh, wow! He must really want to mate with you, then!

[ya boy will not remember he said that tomorrow morning. But Eve will. :) And she will remind him. :)]

[At this point, Vash is on his third mimosa. He is only just now starting to feel pretty damn tipsy all things considered (it’s DANGEROUSLY easy to blow through these fruity drinks, they don’t taste alcoholic to him even a little), and they’re going to be making him have the munchies too if they don’t already have snacks. It’s a dangerous combination, and Chung chooses to say that just as he’s taking another drink.

Ain…mentioned that once. “Mating”. The idea that such an act would be not only more intimate between them, but permanently binding…he hadn’t really explained it well, nor did he seem eager to get into details at the time.

Vash sits up, his cheeks flaring a little darker red as he shifts his glass to his non-metal hand, just in case.]

A-ahah…I- sorry?

When birds want to, uh, mate with someone, [Aisha swirls the contents of her glass around and hiccups,] they "decorate" that person. Usually with shiny things. Or... other things they like.

[She may or may not have spent several hours drawing arcane sigils all over Elsword it's FINE don't ask her about her specific habits. Owls and songbirds are slightly different okay.]

Diiiiid he not tell you? You want me to bonk him with my staff?

[no,]

Huh? N-no no! He did! Um…kindof?

[Vash shuffles in his seat a little, causing the pleather to squeak audibly.]

He mentioned mating once…but he didn’t really…explain it? I guess? But it’s okay, he didn’t need to or anything-!

[Sweat sweat please don’t be mad at Ain he’s very small]

[You know what, Add decides as he listens to this that he's not drunk enough to process this and goes for another drink. If he passes out Ciel will surely catch him and let him sleep.

...except thankfully Ain's song is ending and even if he's not much of a singer, his need to not know what whacky shit goes on in Ain's life wins out in the end. He guns it to the stage to sing Something. As it turns out, Add can rap, let's not worry about that though.

Ain will be at the bar for approximately three minutes getting a new drink at which point it is Over for all of you.]

Oho! I see! [Lu, the tiniest person here, does not see. She does not have all the facts. She has to lean on Ciel or she can't sit up.] Ain is only testing the waters, so they say. I'm sure he's gravely serious about this, however.

[Sip.]

It doesn't normally work with humans, I'm afraid, but he might just consider it a ritual and leave it there. Like marriage!

[As Add scrambles to exit stage left this conversation, Vash realizes he is NOWHERE near inebriated enough for it either and just

Guns the rest of his drink. All of it. It’s enough to make even him shiver a little from how much it is all at once, but a moment later he’s recovered and set down the empty glass.

Maybe Ain will bring him another…]

So…he wants to…

[Marry? Marriage? Him??

It’s a good thing Vash is gonna be white girl wasted soon because processing things is hard enough without that being dropped in his lap]

Well! It's a bit different! You can break a marriage. It's hard to break off mating with someone.

[How does Elsword like... Explain this. He doesn't know.]

But like Lu said, you don't possess the right— erm, uh. [Words. Words are hard when you're normally ineloquent as hell and now drunk.] You're human, so the anatomy is different!

I get the impression that Ain did what he usually does and didn't explain. At all. [Raven looks off at Add on stage rapping. Go you funky little catboy.]

[The more Elsword explains, the more…inwardly frantic Vash becomes, not necessarily for a bad reason, but it’s the unknown that’s striking him suddenly.

Why?

Well the idea that it “doesn’t work on a human”, but presumably does with everything else? What does that even mean? What…could it, if Ain were to decide to mate with him anyway for the ritual aspect?

And so, too tipsy to stop himself while trying to understand, Vash raises his voice a little over the music and blurts:]

But I’m not human!

[What! Does it mean!! Help]

[Oh Lord this group is about to get a whole lot stupider.

Add is done at precisely that moment, and walks back and hears this declaration in time to drunkenly blurt out,]

I knew it! So you are a mole rat!

[because he's been convinced, by himself, for a week, that Vash is a mole rat based on the one (1) conversation they had.

Ain, naturally, comes over at that moment with two drinks, one for Vash and one for himself, and sits down next to his boyfriend like ?

Rose is leaving the discussion to go sing Taylor Swift songs. She has had Enough of y'all.

And everyone else...]

What're you talking about, Mr. Ancient? [Ain is slurring. Badly.] He's a Plant.

Like... a cactus? [asks Chung.]

That's a succulent. [argues Elsword.]

A cactus is still a type of plant! [Aisha is seconds from spilling her drink, and were it not for Elesis fixing the position of her wrist, she might've.]

Oh my god. [Ciel breathes,] He's not a fucking cactus.

[Vash...kindof wants to disappear. Just sink into the floor and never come back out. Why did he say that? That was something he'd been trying to, you know...keep to himself! Or at the very least, make it so that only Ain knew what was really going on. It was just easier to pass for a human down here, because trying to explain he was anything but wouldn't make much sense to the average person...and to someone who knew what he was talking about, it was dangerous. If rumors started circling topside...]

H-hold on-

[Vash tries to pump the breaks before things get out of hand, holding up both of his hands pleadingly as Add hops off the stage and accuses him of being a mole rat(???). Then, his head whips around to look at Ain- BABE???- before subsequently whipping back around to look at Chung.]

It's not-

[But they're still going, several of them likely convinced that he's a cactus of some sort, which he's almost willing to let them believe. Maybe they'd just end up forgetting later after sobering up?]

He didn't mean Plant, like...plant plant, he meant to say...uhh...

[Looks at Ain, pleadingly.]

Ppppplllastic! You know, like- because of my arm?

[Vash barks a desperate sounding laugh as he lifts said VERY METAL arm and wiggles the fingers, both Raven and Add know fucking better than this.]

PET PERSON MEME

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Filed under dumbest tags I've ever written

A+ 10/10 no notes