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i am robbing bakerstreet again

PET PERSON MEME

>> premise

Hello, and welcome to The Care and Keeping of Your Pet! As you surely know, a pet is a big responsibility, and we're so glad you've decided to be a concientious master. A safe pet is a happy pet, and this handbook is certain to keep your precious lifelong friend as content as can be.

The history of the animal person is a long and difficult one, with their origins not being known even to this day. However, scientists believe that despite our common appearance - most animal people have humanoid forms except for the ears, tails, and sometimes teeth - we share no common ancestry, even if the ascent of this species corresponds with that of the homo sapien. We gained dominance over each breed thousands of years ago, beginning with the dog type, who have long been considered "man's best friend." Most breeds these days are docile and perfect for owners of any speed.

Of course, it is our duty as the superior species to take care of these animal creatures, and this is inherent in their genetic makeup. Everyone knows that an animal person, when matched with their correct human master, is loyal for life - a true "soulmate," if you will. Far be it for us to turn this away! Ever since the Great Domestication, these intelligent and loving animals have served us as friends, workmates, guardians, servants, and sexual companions and will for years to come. Despite recent hubbub from so-called "Pet People's Rights Activists," this way of life is wholesome and good. Scientific research shows that the natural desire of the pet person is to be owned and cared for by a human.

So, it's your first pet. What do you need to know?

As previously stated, pet people come in as many breeds as you can possibly think of. By far and away the most popular are the dog and cat types, but exotic birds and lizards have been gaining popularity among trendsetters from L.A. to Tokyo!
All pet types are best suited for certain jobs, and when hunting for one, it is best to search for a type that suits your needs best.
However, a "True Match" - when a pet person bonds with you and only you for the rest of their natural lives - comes naturally, and sometimes takes time before you can find the pet you will be able to give a forever home to.
According to all current research, pet people are completely sentient and like us in many ways. However, it is important to remember that they have many animalistic and feral characteristics. Do not be foolish and think that your pet is a person, despite the facts that many are clothed and may be allowed to read, write, and have "hobbies." Some traditional pet owners may eschew these frivolities, and that is within their right.
Pet people age more quickly than humans, at least physically, and many types have long lifespans. It is not uncommon for pets to be passed through the family. When getting your child their first pet, it's important to keep in mind that just because the pup is tiny now, a grown pet can be jumpy around a small child.
It is important to train a pet. Discipline will be necessary. This does not make you a bad owner. Failure to train early will result in a rebellious pet. Training is especially important if you want your pet to serve as a household servant.
Remember, your pet will be extremely protective of you, especially if you are Truly Bonded. It is best to socialize them early. A socialized pet is a perfect family pet.
These days, unowned and unbonded pet people are allowed to live as strays or "Frees" in certain designated areas. Some even hold "jobs." This is against their best interest, and owners who adopt these strays are to be rewarded. Still, the best place to get pets are from liscenced kennels or breeders.
Some masters find it beneficial to participate in activities with their pets, such as shows and other competitions.
Finally, much has been made about the sexual relationship between pet and master. This is a normal facet of the bond, and humans are sure to find pet people sexually alluring. But beyond that, it is only responsible and prudent for owners to care for their pet's needs. It is a well-known fact that the libidos of pet people are remarkably strong, and when they go into heat, it is usually more convenient for a master to relieve them. There is no risk of pregnancy. All rumors of hybrids are urban legends.
Despite this, masters must remember to not view their pets as romantic partners. Humans should stay with humans.

With that said, thank you and welcome to your first day as a pet's master!

>> how to play

Needless to say, The Care and Keeping of Your Pet is a bit biased and full of propaganda, but it gives a good idea of the world your character is now AU's into. They are either a pet person or a human master, and what that means for them varies.

So are they a devoted pet or a rebellious animal person looking to buck the system? A generous master or a cruel sexual sadist? Just a normal pet owner? Most likely they're something in between, but when you're raised in this world, it's difficult to see anything different on the horizon.

Rules

Comment with your character and say whether they'd be a master or a pet. Ideally, they could be played as both. Mention what kind of each they'd be and what they'd be like, (ie: "Xx-chan is a bunny girl who is happy to please her master" or "Asterothia is a cat boy who is aloof but loyal to his true master"). For pets, be sure to include features ("wolf ears, tail, teeth).

REMEMBER, pet does not automatically equal submissive and master automatically equal dominant. This is not a BDSM setting though BDSM can be included. How far you want to go with the actual "pet" aspect is up to you, as well. Your pet could just be your slightly-furry roommate or soulmate!
Comment to others.
Play out the scene.

>> prompts

This by no means an all-inclusive list, but it should get you going in the right direction.

First Time Pet/Owner: Usually, pets are gotten at a young age; you're an old dog. Can you learn new tricks?
True Bond: What all masters and pets yearn for...the pet's loyalty and adoration for life.
Love: It's expected for masters to love their pets, but to love them? Romance is strictly forbidden.
Old "Couple": Master and pet have grown together and know each other. You know, know each other.
Loss of Master: The pet has lost their master, perhaps even their True Bond. Is it possible to move on?
Young Master/Older Pet: Pets age quicker than masters, so it's possible to end up with a bit of an "age" difference.
Family Pet: This pet's been raised as part of the family. What happens when their feelings for a family member get more than platonic.
For Your Protection: You don't want to be a master, but you have to take in a pet for their protection lest they be in danger from the general public.
Stray: You're a stray or a "Free." Can you live like this with your biology screaming for you to make a match?
Servant: You're more servant than pet.
All Sex, All the Time: The only purpose for this pet is to service the master, and not in a way that means cleaning their house.
Guard: You're a loyal bodyguard, a service pet. You'll do anything for your master. Anything.
Pet Play: This is for those who prefer to keep their animals on leashes, have them eat from bowls, and keep away from clothing.
Breaking In: Training is important with any pet.
In Love with Another Master...or Pet: To lust after another's master is no better than treason, and to wish to be with another pet just cruel!
Punishment: Bad dog, no nookie!
Heat: All pets go into heat, and it's the responsibility of the owner to take care of this problem. After all, unchecked dry humping kills thousands every year.
Breeding: Breeders know the best qualities in each type and mate the cream of the crop together to continue lines. It's a hobby for some, a calling for others.
Territorial: Hey, hey, other dog person! This is your apartment. Stay the fuck out!
Kennel: Kennels are where unadopted pets are kept. They're generally agreed to be depressing places. Why not volunteer at one, keeping the pets healthy and happy with the kind of affection only humans can show?
Rebelling Against the System: Damn the Man! Pet people are people, too! Just be careful not to get talk. You know what happens to bad pets.
Instant Attraction: You ever just look at someone and know they're the one? That they're...your master? But what if you've been trying to fight it? Well, don't try!
Dominant Pet: You might be the pet, but you call the shots, at least in the bedroom.
Pet Show: Everyone wants to show off how perfect their animal is. Look at that ass! And you'll never believe their special skills...
Therapeutic: Pets, especially those bred for their kindliness, are perfect therapy for those who've been through trauma and heartache.
Jealousy: Who's that around your master? Oh, hell no. They better not be touching them!
Petting: Pet people are absolutely gaga for being touched. Even the most steely ones turn to mush for rubs.
Games: Playing with your pet and giving them exercise is a key to happiness. Of course, with a pet person, you might want to use other toys instead of a ball.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...why?

[Okay he'll admit, not the response he was expecting. But Vash just laughs through it, pulling out something he keeps hidden in his fist.]

Because I wanted to. And...I guess because I saw it, and it made me think of you.

[He holds it out as he says that, and "it" happens to be a small hair clip. It's nothing incredibly fancy- Vash had to work for it, after all- but it's embossed, and has the pattern of an egret etched into it. It's definitely well made, if nothing else.]

[Whoops, this is one of those moments where Ain gets all fluttery and bright red about receiving a gift, isn't it. Haha... oh no.

He runs his thumb along the embossing, wings all fluttery, and stares down at it for far too long. Birdbrain says Shiny. Shiny Object Good.

Ain immediately stops to clip it into his hair. It... doesn't look great, and he can feel it weighing on his bangs weirdly, so—]

Vash! Help me put it on!

[He DEMANDS you do this for him ty.]

Okay, okay!

[He had a feeling Ain would ask, which leads him to having to let his hand go and stop in the middle of the street for a moment to have Ain turn towards him, don't mind them pedestrians. He carefully takes the clip- which is a silver metallic sort of affair, so definitely shiny- and pulls a little bit of Ain's bangs to one side so that the clip can hold onto them properly. He makes sure not to pull aside all of his bangs, though...having a little bit of hair there flopping into his face is cute. It's very Ain.

Once it's clipped into place, Vash leans back on his heels to observe his handiwork.]

There we go. How does it feel?

[He looks...so cute...what the fuck...........]

[Ain tilts his head back and forth to get a feel for how the clip weighs in his hair. It's a lot better now that Vash has fixed it, since Ain's excited, blind attempts at putting it in his hair yielded subpar results.]

Better!

[For the first time in several days, the happy trilling starts up, as Ain snags Vash's hand in his and leads them onward to their destination. Vash will end up with a wing around his back in due time.

Where are they headed, exactly? Well, he had his friends give them some ideas — there's a big botanical-garden type of structure down here, a copy of the real one topside, though with far less tropical and difficult-to-grow species. That, and there's a fancy restaurant they can go to for lunch. "Fancy" in that they do gourmet cooking but not "fancy" as in the prices are obscene. Like with everything else, they'll just have to trade for the meals, and that'll probably a tomorrow thing considering their plans today.]

I love you~! [he singsongs as they walk,] You're so cute!

[Oh my gooood he's singing again...that makes Vash so happy. Ain hasn't really sung since he came down with his sickness, and it was starting to worry Vash as time passed...he knew he wasn't feeling well, so it probably shouldn't have come as too much of a surprise? But Ain never shuts up. Never. So for him to go silent, even with just a few soft trills here and there...

Suffice it to say, it's a huge relief to hear. It makes his heart feel full and warm as he gives Ain's hand a little squeeze, letting him walk close to his side. It's extra nice that they can actually walk like a legitimate couple down here and not get arrested on sight for it. Though...he has to imagine he's still garnering some looks. Human-passing, and all.]

I love you too. But you're the cute one here, not me.

[Ain whips around and looks at Vash like :0! How dare he say this. How dare he speak those words when Vash is clearly cuter.]

No! We can both be cute! [Beat FACTS and LOGIC.] You're very cute! You have fluffy hair and big, bright eyes, and that beauty mark...

[Ain reaches out with his free hand to squish Vash's cheek.]

You're so pretty. And kissable. And strong...

[Are they going to make it to the gardens without stopping on the path to kiss? That is the goal. But Ain is really considering at least a quick cheek-kiss until they can get there in a whole... two and a half minutes.]

[Okay but like, consider...what if they made out....in the gardens.......

Vash is going to try his very best not to like. ACTUALLY do that. But Ain is making it very hard not to pull him aside for a kiss or twelve. So, you know, a cheek kiss wouldn't go amiss...and maybe it would tide them over you don't know.]

Aw, Ain. You're gonna make me blush...

[As if he isn't actively doing that.]

Are you just trying to outdo me?

[If they make out they're never gonna make it to karaoke; Ain is at his upper limits for not grabbing Vash's ass here because he was too sick to do it previously. He has made it Over A Week without doing so and the only reason he's not pouncing is because they have plans. That, and he's going to ask Aisha to put a soundproofing spell on his room for a bit (she will know what this means, but it'll spare everyone).

So. They cannot make out in the gardens because Ain has got like, a single thread of self-control left. All they need to do is make it through the day and maybe if he's too tired, Vash will not have to put up with that fraying thread. Luckily, Ain is not thinking super hard about it... but he will end up taking that cheek-kiss before they actually go into the gardens proper, yeah.]

Haha, am I? I'm just being honest with you.

[This area of the underground is humid as hell, due to all the plants growing. There's an overhead section of pipes and sprinklers that keep the air moist, and the lights are brighter in some areas and dimmer in others to keep certain low-light plants alive. Surprisingly, despite the fact they're in a cave... it's all very green. Green and flowery, with a walkway at the entrance leading to a forked path where the flowers — planted in alternating pink, white, and purple — end and a row of twisted bamboo.

Ain is immediately surging forward to look at it. Bye.]

[Oh, believe him...ever since the last time they slept together? Vash hasn't stopped thinking about it. Ain has utterly ruined him for ever being normal again, and while he's an infinitely patient man, especially since Ain has been sick and all...he's had dreams about that since it happened. Ain quite literally edged him into a different personality, what does he expect-

But he doesn't just want to be treated by Ain forever. He feels like...in the realm of sex, there's more he could be doing...he just hasn't learned it yet. And he doesn't want to be pushy like "hey can we....do the sex thing again..........please..." so he's being good, at least for now. That kiss to the cheek has certainily left him feeling some kind of way though as he nods after Ain, letting the bird tug him on towards the underground garden.

It's really pretty down here, especially to Vash who just loves seeing things like this. He's immediately brought back to the days when Rem would grow her geraniums and show them to the twins, teaching them all about the benefits of flowers and how they'd help the earth. It makes Vash feel good to see plants like this thriving in this day and age- oh, Ain is gone.]

Oh- wait up!

[Sorry babe, Ain wants to see if bamboo is as hard as it looks. He pokes it with a claw and determines that it is, in fact, a very solid plant. How do pandas eat this... Wow, what if he were a panda. Would he know?]

Haha, I'm right here. I just wanted to see this.

[He's only ever seen those tiny pots of decorative bamboo in stores, not actual trees like this, and he knows he's not supposed to touch anything but he had to know. Plants are so fascinating to him. He'd like to grow some, when they settle down one day.

Up ahead, they've managed to turn the bamboo into a small shack type of deal — they can go into it and read placards about how this is done, and it's only about five feet away from them on the path. Ain veers that way after he and Vash get a good look at Tree.]

Maybe we can move to the middle of the woods one day and build a bamboo house.

[He's joking. He kind of wants a log cabin in the mountains now. But if Vash wanted it, Ain would say okay, sure.]

[Vash is following after Ain, a little slowly if only because he's distracted, and it isn't just by the bamboo...he does love the plants equally though, and bamboo isn't one he's seen either! He eyes it curiously as they pass, reaching out to follow Ain's example by tapping a bit with his metal finger, just to hear the sound it makes as it thunks against the material. Fascinating.]

A bamboo house? Do you think it would be sturdy enough?

[He says as they literally step into an actual shack made from the stuff.]

[Yes, his ass sure is nice huh buddy :) too bad his tail feathers cover some of it, but don't worry about that—

(Maybe both of them are too horny to be out here right now, maybe they should've stayed in and fooled around instead, but what fun is a first date and karaoke night if they're not pent up by the end of it?)]

It says here that people live in these, [Ain points at a bronze placard on the wall, and then shuffles slightly aside so a younger teenager can read it too.] I think it would be just fine. We might have to live somewhere warmer, though. I don't think they have great insulation.

[You never know, though! Ain is not a builder. Other than the fact that you can build a goddamn house with this, there's nothing else to see in here, so when they're done reading, Ain steals Vash's hand and tugs him along. They're in a section dedicated to East Asian plant life, so the bamboo eventually gives way to a tall bridge over an artificial river, then to a Zen garden where cherry trees grow. They're very pink despite it not being springtime, and Ain predicts this is more due to magic than anything else. It has to be. That, or the climate is just spring forever here.

They're pretty. And he stops on the bridge to put his elbows against the railing and his chin in his hands, gazing up at the pink and just sort of sighing.]

These are nice. They don't look like this all the time, though. Did you know?

[It's definitely not the flat monstrosity kog seems to want us to think because we love and respect Ainchase Ishmael's cake in this household. Unfortunate that the tailfeathers are hiding it though :( good for the sake of actually enjoying their date without Vash wanting to put his tongue down Ain's throat, though, so small blessings.

Vash follows Ain dutifully on through the garden, looking up and around at the new plants that show up before them once they've exited the bamboo shack. The cherry trees are actually something Vash has never seen before, and as such Ain might hear him gasp audibly over his shoulder at just how abundant the pink petals on them are. It's so pretty it's almost hard to believe they're real...

He comes up to stand at Ain's side after a moment, following suit in resting his elbows along the railing.]

I didn't. I've never seen trees like this before...or plants like those.

[He points at something clustered up on the ground in the distance, further on from the east asian plants. And it.

It sure is a plant. Some plants. What is that.

The placard underneath simply reads: Baseball plant.]

[...what IS that.]

I don't even know what those are! Haha, I guess reading all those books didn't teach me about every plant.

[Says the bird who was just like "but is bamboo TRULY solid?" five minutes ago but yeah. What... Is that.

Ain scoots forward down the bridge and on the path, veering toward the weird round things. He can't get overly close because Sidewalk, and he wouldn't want to mess with anything or step on something important, but he crouches down at the far edge of it to get a closer look.]

Baseball plant...? It looks more like a football.

[Football ⚽ he's German. He's not American. He is white tho—]

Do they open up...?

I'm...not sure? I thought it was a cactus at first...

[You see a lot of those in the desert, and though it is a hot weather plant, a cactus it is not. These guys are just...plant orbs. Plorbs. They're vibing over here, unbothered and in their lane.

Vash knows they aren't allowed, but he does wish he could touch it. He wants to know how soft or not it is.]

I mean. I guess it does look like a ball, doesn't it?

Orb... It's the size of your Dachsologie! Haha!

[Maybe Dachsologies grow in the ground? (They do not.)

There are many things to look at as they move on from the plorbs, though. The zen garden does give a sense of zen, or it might, if Ain wasn't eagerly asking how they rake the rocks anyway. Because he wants to know. How do they get such perfect rock circles without walking on them and ruining it? How do you do this? Who rakes your rocks good sir.

And then there are water lilies and lotuses in a pond, and that's where Ain's brain is screaming at him to Splash. He doesn't, he doesn't want to ruin everything, but God. Water. Bad. His brain can't deal with it.

Still, the lotuses are pretty. And—]

They can make chips out of the pods!

[yeah they can make chips out of them. Welcome to dating Ain, he has become a Plant Facts machine.]

[Oh god, it IS Dachie shaped. Don’t give him ideas Ain he only halfway understands how those little guys are actually birthed.

And yes, what Vash is learning from all of this is Ain is SO full of questions. Just so full of them. They’re not always ones he’s able to answer, but he’ll happily listen, especially when Ain starts dispensing answers instead.]

Eh? Chips? You mean like…chips you eat? Those kind?

[???]

[Ain is returning to his roots of many questions and many answers to things no one asked for. Like, if they did a trivia night, he would be able to cover the most esoteric shit. "How to pilot an airship" and stuff. Meanwhile everyone else would be able to name off actual common knowledge.]

Yes! They fry them like potato chips. They're good. Haha, I think you'd like them. Maybe we can find some...

[Vash will eat anything, Ain has learnt, and a lotus chip is better than a giant worm anyhow. Way more fun and better tasting. Also probably healthier for you? Inconclusive.]

I wish there were little animals in here, though. Frogs on the lilypads and fish in the w—

["in the water" but he spoke too soon, it seems, because they DO have a toad vibing on a lilypad. Ain points to it and tugs on Vash's sleeve like he'd miss it somehow.]

Vash! Vash, they have animals! Vash!!!

[are you LOOKING]

[He is looking, he is SEEING them with his eyeballs don't worry Ain. Vash can't help but laugh at how...almost frantic Ain gets when he sees the toad, which brings him to reach out and place his free hand at the small of his back. Shhh small voice baby bird it's okay-]

I see, I see! That's a really big toad, isn't it?

[That toad is just OUT here. It doesn't even look at them, loafed into a near perfect sphere, as if they've entered into the designated orb part of the garden...]

They might have fish in the pond if they've got frogs, don't you think? Let's see if we can get a closer look.

I didn't think they could have animals down here. They finally figured it out, huh...?

[He... is very happy. It's not difficult to tell, not when he's chirping up a storm and shifting his wings like he does when Happy takes over. Chirpchirpchirp—

Ain crouches down as near to the pool as he can get to see if there are any fish in there. It takes a few minutes until a bright orange koi swims past, just under the surface of the lilypads, and Ain points furiously at it. Vash did you SEE the BEHEMOTH—]

[Vash's...cute aggression...rising...

Vash sidles up next to Ain, squatting down beside him so he can look into the water too. It's a little hard to see at first because of the shadows being cast by the lilypads, but sure enough...the moment a fish swims by, Ain has locked onto it and is! Pointing!!!]

They do have fish!

[Big ones too, by the looks of it, holy shit. Vash has never seen a fish that large before, what the hell.

That said...what Ain said a moment ago has him curious, and he can't help but ask:]

They didn't have animals before?

[Ain has no idea what he's doing to this man and it's only going to get worse from here, it seems.]

Not last time I was here, no. It was too difficult to have anything "wild" here. The only thing we really had were bugs. Not fish... not anything that lives outside.

[But, he supposes, if they can get cherry blossoms to be permanently pink, if they can grow desert succulents in a zen garden, and if they can have koi fish and frogs in a lake... they've clearly got a grasp on the climate control down here, even if Add sometimes breaks lights and there are outages. It really feels like being outside at some points in this garden, like they're not in a secret society underground.

It's nice.]

It would be nice if we could have a real zoo, but I don't know how they'd smuggle in a giraffe. Fish are a lot easier, I bet.

[Vash rests his chin in one hand as they observe the fish swimming around in the pond, trying to imagine that. Even with so many pets around, not having "actual" animals must seem like an odd and lonely existence. Bugs are one thing, but...you begin to notice the absence of birdsong, Vash realizes.]

A giraffe? How come that's the first animal you think of?

[They have smaller zoo animals!! They just need to smuggle in some lizards first nbd.]

Because they're in zoos!

[Beat FACTS and LOGIC.]

That's the animal you think of when you go to a zoo! A giraffe! Or a hippo!

[That's what Ain thinks of, anyway. He's not thinking of lizards, you can put those in a house so they don't count.]

[Ain: Immediately names animals that are as big as you can think of.

Vash can't blame him though. When Rem was teaching him about the various animals that exist, the wild ones like lions and tigers always caught his eye. Those could be found in zoos as well, as far as he understood.]

Well, what about flamingos? Those are in zoos too.

PET PERSON MEME

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