Hello, and welcome to The Care and Keeping of Your Pet! As you surely know, a pet is a big responsibility, and we're so glad you've decided to be a concientious master. A safe pet is a happy pet, and this handbook is certain to keep your precious lifelong friend as content as can be.
The history of the animal person is a long and difficult one, with their origins not being known even to this day. However, scientists believe that despite our common appearance - most animal people have humanoid forms except for the ears, tails, and sometimes teeth - we share no common ancestry, even if the ascent of this species corresponds with that of the homo sapien. We gained dominance over each breed thousands of years ago, beginning with the dog type, who have long been considered "man's best friend." Most breeds these days are docile and perfect for owners of any speed.
Of course, it is our duty as the superior species to take care of these animal creatures, and this is inherent in their genetic makeup. Everyone knows that an animal person, when matched with their correct human master, is loyal for life - a true "soulmate," if you will. Far be it for us to turn this away! Ever since the Great Domestication, these intelligent and loving animals have served us as friends, workmates, guardians, servants, and sexual companions and will for years to come. Despite recent hubbub from so-called "Pet People's Rights Activists," this way of life is wholesome and good. Scientific research shows that the natural desire of the pet person is to be owned and cared for by a human.
So, it's your first pet. What do you need to know?
As previously stated, pet people come in as many breeds as you can possibly think of. By far and away the most popular are the dog and cat types, but exotic birds and lizards have been gaining popularity among trendsetters from L.A. to Tokyo!
All pet types are best suited for certain jobs, and when hunting for one, it is best to search for a type that suits your needs best.
However, a "True Match" - when a pet person bonds with you and only you for the rest of their natural lives - comes naturally, and sometimes takes time before you can find the pet you will be able to give a forever home to.
According to all current research, pet people are completely sentient and like us in many ways. However, it is important to remember that they have many animalistic and feral characteristics. Do not be foolish and think that your pet is a person, despite the facts that many are clothed and may be allowed to read, write, and have "hobbies." Some traditional pet owners may eschew these frivolities, and that is within their right.
Pet people age more quickly than humans, at least physically, and many types have long lifespans. It is not uncommon for pets to be passed through the family. When getting your child their first pet, it's important to keep in mind that just because the pup is tiny now, a grown pet can be jumpy around a small child.
It is important to train a pet. Discipline will be necessary. This does not make you a bad owner. Failure to train early will result in a rebellious pet. Training is especially important if you want your pet to serve as a household servant.
Remember, your pet will be extremely protective of you, especially if you are Truly Bonded. It is best to socialize them early. A socialized pet is a perfect family pet.
These days, unowned and unbonded pet people are allowed to live as strays or "Frees" in certain designated areas. Some even hold "jobs." This is against their best interest, and owners who adopt these strays are to be rewarded. Still, the best place to get pets are from liscenced kennels or breeders.
Some masters find it beneficial to participate in activities with their pets, such as shows and other competitions.
Finally, much has been made about the sexual relationship between pet and master. This is a normal facet of the bond, and humans are sure to find pet people sexually alluring. But beyond that, it is only responsible and prudent for owners to care for their pet's needs. It is a well-known fact that the libidos of pet people are remarkably strong, and when they go into heat, it is usually more convenient for a master to relieve them. There is no risk of pregnancy. All rumors of hybrids are urban legends.
Despite this, masters must remember to not view their pets as romantic partners. Humans should stay with humans.
With that said, thank you and welcome to your first day as a pet's master! |
no subject
As they head out into the "park" to witness Add showing off, Vash genuinely gives the guy his undivided attention. He's actually curious to see what he's going to do here, and he's not disappointed by it either. It comes off as more than just a fancy light show, even if that's a lot of what it is. All of a sudden Add starts building up electricity out of nowhere, and Vash feels himself immediately in awe of what he's seeing, because- at least so far as Raven succinctly put it- it's not magic. And Vash was definitely the one who was always enraptured by all of the strange things Nai could do with powers he didn't have...
Or at least, powers he couldn't easily access. Not now, and certainly not all the time, at least...
When Add punches upward and quite literally punches lightning from his fist, Vash jumps a little as it happens, blinking with the light flashing off his round glasses. Then...he's wincing as he realizes that Add just took out something very important above them, which just so happens to be one of the big lights making it seem like daytime, and...it really does become obvious it's artifical once the sun blinks out partially above you. Vash glances over at Raven, then at Rena Approaching Rapidly from the distance.
Uhh.]
Uh. Yeah, yeah, okay-
[He's already turning around, ready to frog-march back to home, when he turns to call quickly over his shoulder.]
That was great! Super cool! You'll have to show me again sometime!!
[No]
no subject
Raven and Vash escape, though, and it's not their fault (technically) that Add took the lights out. They're out of the oppressive dark in time, back at base, and Raven heads off to go handle some actual work on his part but only after he helps Vash get upstairs with Ain's now-lunch and books. He winds up putting the books on the desk, patting the Dachies, and heading out thereafter.
Ain, of course, stirs once the boys come in. It'll just be him and Vash for a while, though. They can vibe.]
Vaaaaaash, [this is how you know he's awful when he's ill because he's Whiny,] I missed you...
[he was asleep.]
no subject
Ain's breakfast-now-lunch is probably a little cold, though crepes are good both ways in Vash's expert opinion. He'll take a seat in his spot on the bed with the bag still in hand, carefully passing it over to Ain's lap as he sits up groggily.]
I missed you too. Did you sleep good?
[He slept this whole time, poor guy...he has to hope that it's helping though, if nothing else. He's :c sick :c he's allowed to sleep
Also hi Dachies, you get pets because you did a good job watching him.]
no subject
Mmhmm. The medicine helped. ...is that from Mr. Half-Demon's place?
[Why are you mean to him
Anyway, cold crepes, warm crepes, whatever, it's a crepe. Ain is going to dig in immediately, in that way that he again doesn't realise how hungry he is until the food is on his lap and his brain is like "wait a second... I'm HUNGRY!" so.
You know. That's a good sign, too.]
It's good. Haha, did you get to eat there, too?
no subject
[That he definitely could have carried with one hand. Definitely.
As he talks, Vash leans over so he can scoop baby Dachie off the floor, petting it gently with his thumb. Hi baby he loves you.]
We stopped at the library afterwards and picked out some books. Noah helped, he’s going to come visit you later this evening.
no subject
[Well... he... kind of almost didn't. Ain doesn't need to know that, though.
He stuffs his face happily either way. It's nice of Vash to bring him things to read; as much as he needs the sleep, he knows he won't be sleeping all day soon enough, and then he'll be bored and bitchy because he's bored. Ain thinks to himself he should probably also shower because he's sure he must smell like sweat and like... ew.
Vash puts up with so much.]
...when I feel better, I want to take you on a date. I don't know what we'd do, other than get dinner, but it would be fun. Don't you think?
no subject
Vash leans back against the pillows as Ain eats, pleased to see him eating with all of the ferocity of a starving animal. He's definitely known that Ain does this, he'll just not eat until food is presented to him and then be like "oh shit that's right I'm hungry" and eat everything. Waste not want not with these two.
What Ain says after that is what really gets his attention though, prompting him to look over with his brows disappearing into his bangs.]
A...a date? [Oh. Oh it sounds so official, as if they haven't gone on ~dates~ before.] I...yeah! Yeah, I'd really like that. You know this place better than I do, so maybe we could go sightseeing?
no subject
We could! There's probably a lot you haven't seen yet. I think there are places I haven't seen yet, since I was gone.
[There's gotta be something, even if it might not be as exciting as like... a hike. There's not going to be any wild animals or snow, but there's a garden and probably like a musical going on.]
I've never been on a real date. How exciting!
no subject
Vash gives Dachie a few more scrtiches on top of its head before continuing.]
Maybe...you could show me some more of your magic, too?
[Add showed him his and then fuckin died-]
no subject
["MUCH" else. The baby Dachie, by the way, is peeping softly. Very happy baby owldog. Or... maybe it's more of an owlhamster at this point.]
There are some things I can show you now, but only... this, I think.
[Ain has polished off breakfast — crepes and eggs do not take long to get through when you're fucking Starving — and so, setting aside the empty to-go container on the desk, he holds his palm out toward Vash. In it blooms a flower made of ice. Not super impressive, nor permanent, but hey.]
no subject
He watches as Ain extends his hand towards him, palm up, and produces an icy flower as easy as you please. It makes him gasp softly, because so far the magic he's seen Ain use hasn't been anything quite this delicate. Nor was it ice, come to think of it.]
Oh wow...! If you can do that while you're sick...
no subject
[So like. Don't get hurt.
Down here, though, it's unlikely. Ain leans against Vash as he crushes the ice flower in his palm, sending stray sparks of magic into the air before they fade.]
I don't think I could do anything too combat-oriented right now, though, so no cool swords or anything fun like that.
[Anyway, his hand is cold now, so he plaps it against Vash's cheek and snickers to himself. Get Got.]
no subject
Wow though. His boyfriend is so cool. He wishes he could do magic...he wishes he could do a lot of things, actually, so he'll just have to live vicariously through his new pet companions and also boyfriend.]
That's alright. You can just save the cool stuff for later.
[As if! That wasn't super cool already!!]
I don't want you t-
[PLAP
Vash stiffens briefly, jolting back a fraction away from Ain's hand.]
Noooo it's coooold-
no subject
Haha, is it? I had no idea! Your face is so warm, so I hope you don't mind!
[His laughter is evil (it's not) he is a very mean bird and he is Bullying Vash. Vash makes it so easy, though... so easy to pick on him. Ain loves him— squishsquishsquish—]
...mm... are you staying for long, or are you going to head out again?
no subject
Mm, no...I'm gonna stay with you for a whiel. Ciel wants me to come help wash dishes later this evening, but not until he's closing up.
no subject
[Ain will grab... hm. Warrior Cats, he supposes. He can tell Noah helped pick books if this is what's in the selection... but oh well, he's not complaining. It's something to read, and there's nothing wrong with a story about a bajillion cats.
So, with that in mind, they can spend the next few hours reading and hanging out with the Dachies, and then Vash can head out to wash dishes with the boys.
The days until Ain is healthy again, for real this time, pass by in peace. By the next day, Add has fixed the light he blew out. Vash's arm is finished being fixed on his third day here, and Eve explains that the reason it took her so long to get it done is because she reinforced the metal with a stronger alloy so that it wouldn't break as easily if damaged heavily. Raven had to assist with this, since he's the one with the military-grade arm and all.
The rest of the week is a lot less ceremonious. At some point, Vash will get to meet Laby, a small and hyperactive rabbit who is just. Incredibly pink. And also tends to latch onto Add when she's not latched onto her actual adoptive father. There are several times this week where she can be found sitting on Add's lap while they play video games together, make fun of him if you must. He refuses to acknowledge that he cares. At another point, Vash will get to meet Harnier and get an explanation as to what the Dachsologies and other related creatures are. He actually gets to do work starting after the dishes debacle, too; Rena asks for his help with digging some land to expand the gardens when he has both arms again, and Aisha kidnaps him for all of four hours to help her find some research materials. It's mostly busywork and heavy lifting otherwise, but those sorts of things need to be done.
Vash will have his own time to learn and discover things, too, if he wants to. And Rose has offered to fix up his gun for him, having taken one look at it and claiming that it "needs some minor repairs, if you want" but not really taking no for an answer at least where basic cleaning is concerned.
All in all, everyone has accepted Vash into their little group, and every night he'll get to curl up with Ain, who's getting better by the day. When he's finally feeling completely not-dead to the world and actually healed up, it's Elsword's suggestion that they all get together for karaoke this evening and party. Liquor is kind of implied in the way he says "past Laby's bedtime" and "Noah won't be there" but the latter is more because Noah going to parties is unheard of.
First, though, Ain wants to take Vash on a date. They don't have to dress fancy, but they're going to go see Stuff and eat lunch and probably hold hands in public, which they can't do anywhere else. So.
Out they go, to walk down to parts of the underground city Ain has yet to see. A lot can change in a year.]
no subject
But being here, in this place...it feels like a whole different world compared to what Vash was used to before. He thought that mountain village was idyllic, but this...this is something out of a dream. He can't say that strife and discorse doesn't exist here- that's just life in general- and things are definitely harder for pets who are literally living in an underground society...but they're happy. That's not something that's all that easily attainable, and what's more?
Vash feels genuinely welcome here. The fact he's a wanted criminal seems unknown by the general population that doesn't go above ground, and those that may have an inkling either choose to not do anything about it because so many of them here are the same. They'd fled seeking sanctuary for one reason or another, and ratting each other out to topside would be putting everyone in mortal danger. So he's able to do the various odd-jobs he's tasked with easily and without fear, happy to lend a hand whenever and wherever he's able. His arm gets returned to him, and he's sure to thank Eve and Raven effusively, because it feels better than ever to use. It's quick and responsive to his subconscious inputs, not to mention sturdy. And on top of that, Rose is kind enough to fix up his gun for him, too.
It's good. Almost too good, to the point where Vash finds himself worrying as he drifts off to sleep with Ain in his arms that he might once more be letting himself be lulled into a false sense of security. But that couldn't be right. It's safe down here.
It's safe.
And he will enjoy all of this good will while he's able.
So on the day Ain is feeling well enough to finally leave and have their date, Vash is happy. Giddy about being out, even. And since he's allowed, he's happy to take Ain's hand and hold it as they enter the streets.
And his other, now free to be used, fishes around in his jacket pocket the moment it's just the two of them alone.]
Ain. I've got something for you.
no subject
Why?
[...Okay he didn't. Mean it that way. He's just surprised, and it shows on his face as he's leaning over to see what it is.]
no subject
[Okay he'll admit, not the response he was expecting. But Vash just laughs through it, pulling out something he keeps hidden in his fist.]
Because I wanted to. And...I guess because I saw it, and it made me think of you.
[He holds it out as he says that, and "it" happens to be a small hair clip. It's nothing incredibly fancy- Vash had to work for it, after all- but it's embossed, and has the pattern of an egret etched into it. It's definitely well made, if nothing else.]
no subject
He runs his thumb along the embossing, wings all fluttery, and stares down at it for far too long. Birdbrain says Shiny. Shiny Object Good.
Ain immediately stops to clip it into his hair. It... doesn't look great, and he can feel it weighing on his bangs weirdly, so—]
Vash! Help me put it on!
[He DEMANDS you do this for him ty.]
no subject
[He had a feeling Ain would ask, which leads him to having to let his hand go and stop in the middle of the street for a moment to have Ain turn towards him, don't mind them pedestrians. He carefully takes the clip- which is a silver metallic sort of affair, so definitely shiny- and pulls a little bit of Ain's bangs to one side so that the clip can hold onto them properly. He makes sure not to pull aside all of his bangs, though...having a little bit of hair there flopping into his face is cute. It's very Ain.
Once it's clipped into place, Vash leans back on his heels to observe his handiwork.]
There we go. How does it feel?
[He looks...so cute...what the fuck...........]
no subject
Better!
[For the first time in several days, the happy trilling starts up, as Ain snags Vash's hand in his and leads them onward to their destination. Vash will end up with a wing around his back in due time.
Where are they headed, exactly? Well, he had his friends give them some ideas — there's a big botanical-garden type of structure down here, a copy of the real one topside, though with far less tropical and difficult-to-grow species. That, and there's a fancy restaurant they can go to for lunch. "Fancy" in that they do gourmet cooking but not "fancy" as in the prices are obscene. Like with everything else, they'll just have to trade for the meals, and that'll probably a tomorrow thing considering their plans today.]
I love you~! [he singsongs as they walk,] You're so cute!
no subject
Suffice it to say, it's a huge relief to hear. It makes his heart feel full and warm as he gives Ain's hand a little squeeze, letting him walk close to his side. It's extra nice that they can actually walk like a legitimate couple down here and not get arrested on sight for it. Though...he has to imagine he's still garnering some looks. Human-passing, and all.]
I love you too. But you're the cute one here, not me.
no subject
No! We can both be cute! [Beat FACTS and LOGIC.] You're very cute! You have fluffy hair and big, bright eyes, and that beauty mark...
[Ain reaches out with his free hand to squish Vash's cheek.]
You're so pretty. And kissable. And strong...
[Are they going to make it to the gardens without stopping on the path to kiss? That is the goal. But Ain is really considering at least a quick cheek-kiss until they can get there in a whole... two and a half minutes.]
no subject
Vash is going to try his very best not to like. ACTUALLY do that. But Ain is making it very hard not to pull him aside for a kiss or twelve. So, you know, a cheek kiss wouldn't go amiss...and maybe it would tide them over you don't know.]
Aw, Ain. You're gonna make me blush...
[As if he isn't actively doing that.]
Are you just trying to outdo me?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
Filed under dumbest tags I've ever written
A+ 10/10 no notes
update: i lied this one is the dumbest
I love them so much
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
emerges out of my cocoon a year later with a blowjob
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)