i am robbing bakerstreet again

[pcrtiallystcrs]

PET PERSON MEME

>> premise

Hello, and welcome to The Care and Keeping of Your Pet! As you surely know, a pet is a big responsibility, and we're so glad you've decided to be a concientious master. A safe pet is a happy pet, and this handbook is certain to keep your precious lifelong friend as content as can be. The history of the animal person is a long and difficult one, with their origins not being known even to this day. However, scientists believe that despite our common appearance - most animal people have humanoid forms except for the ears, tails, and sometimes teeth - we share no common ancestry, even if the ascent of this species corresponds with that of the homo sapien. We gained dominance over each breed thousands of years ago, beginning with the dog type, who have long been considered "man's best friend." Most breeds these days are docile and perfect for owners of any speed. Of course, it is our duty as the superior species to take care of these animal creatures, and this is inherent in their genetic makeup. Everyone knows that an animal person, when matched with their correct human master, is loyal for life - a true "soulmate," if you will. Far be it for us to turn this away! Ever since the Great Domestication, these intelligent and loving animals have served us as friends, workmates, guardians, servants, and sexual companions and will for years to come. Despite recent hubbub from so-called "Pet People's Rights Activists," this way of life is wholesome and good. Scientific research shows that the natural desire of the pet person is to be owned and cared for by a human. So, it's your first pet. What do you need to know? As previously stated, pet people come in as many breeds as you can possibly think of. By far and away the most popular are the dog and cat types, but exotic birds and lizards have been gaining popularity among trendsetters from L.A. to Tokyo! All pet types are best suited for certain jobs, and when hunting for one, it is best to search for a type that suits your needs best. However, a "True Match" - when a pet person bonds with you and only you for the rest of their natural lives - comes naturally, and sometimes takes time before you can find the pet you will be able to give a forever home to. According to all current research, pet people are completely sentient and like us in many ways. However, it is important to remember that they have many animalistic and feral characteristics. Do not be foolish and think that your pet is a person, despite the facts that many are clothed and may be allowed to read, write, and have "hobbies." Some traditional pet owners may eschew these frivolities, and that is within their right. Pet people age more quickly than humans, at least physically, and many types have long lifespans. It is not uncommon for pets to be passed through the family. When getting your child their first pet, it's important to keep in mind that just because the pup is tiny now, a grown pet can be jumpy around a small child. It is important to train a pet. Discipline will be necessary. This does not make you a bad owner. Failure to train early will result in a rebellious pet. Training is especially important if you want your pet to serve as a household servant. Remember, your pet will be extremely protective of you, especially if you are Truly Bonded. It is best to socialize them early. A socialized pet is a perfect family pet. These days, unowned and unbonded pet people are allowed to live as strays or "Frees" in certain designated areas. Some even hold "jobs." This is against their best interest, and owners who adopt these strays are to be rewarded. Still, the best place to get pets are from liscenced kennels or breeders. Some masters find it beneficial to participate in activities with their pets, such as shows and other competitions. Finally, much has been made about the sexual relationship between pet and master. This is a normal facet of the bond, and humans are sure to find pet people sexually alluring. But beyond that, it is only responsible and prudent for owners to care for their pet's needs. It is a well-known fact that the libidos of pet people are remarkably strong, and when they go into heat, it is usually more convenient for a master to relieve them. There is no risk of pregnancy. All rumors of hybrids are urban legends. Despite this, masters must remember to not view their pets as romantic partners. Humans should stay with humans. With that said, thank you and welcome to your first day as a pet's master!

>> how to play

Needless to say, The Care and Keeping of Your Pet is a bit biased and full of propaganda, but it gives a good idea of the world your character is now AU's into. They are either a pet person or a human master, and what that means for them varies. So are they a devoted pet or a rebellious animal person looking to buck the system? A generous master or a cruel sexual sadist? Just a normal pet owner? Most likely they're something in between, but when you're raised in this world, it's difficult to see anything different on the horizon. Rules Comment with your character and say whether they'd be a master or a pet. Ideally, they could be played as both. Mention what kind of each they'd be and what they'd be like, (ie: "Xx-chan is a bunny girl who is happy to please her master" or "Asterothia is a cat boy who is aloof but loyal to his true master"). For pets, be sure to include features ("wolf ears, tail, teeth). REMEMBER, pet does not automatically equal submissive and master automatically equal dominant. This is not a BDSM setting though BDSM can be included. How far you want to go with the actual "pet" aspect is up to you, as well. Your pet could just be your slightly-furry roommate or soulmate! Comment to others. Play out the scene.

>> prompts

This by no means an all-inclusive list, but it should get you going in the right direction. First Time Pet/Owner: Usually, pets are gotten at a young age; you're an old dog. Can you learn new tricks? True Bond: What all masters and pets yearn for...the pet's loyalty and adoration for life. Love: It's expected for masters to love their pets, but to love them? Romance is strictly forbidden. Old "Couple": Master and pet have grown together and know each other. You know, know each other. Loss of Master: The pet has lost their master, perhaps even their True Bond. Is it possible to move on? Young Master/Older Pet: Pets age quicker than masters, so it's possible to end up with a bit of an "age" difference. Family Pet: This pet's been raised as part of the family. What happens when their feelings for a family member get more than platonic. For Your Protection: You don't want to be a master, but you have to take in a pet for their protection lest they be in danger from the general public. Stray: You're a stray or a "Free." Can you live like this with your biology screaming for you to make a match? Servant: You're more servant than pet. All Sex, All the Time: The only purpose for this pet is to service the master, and not in a way that means cleaning their house. Guard: You're a loyal bodyguard, a service pet. You'll do anything for your master. Anything. Pet Play: This is for those who prefer to keep their animals on leashes, have them eat from bowls, and keep away from clothing. Breaking In: Training is important with any pet. In Love with Another Master...or Pet: To lust after another's master is no better than treason, and to wish to be with another pet just cruel! Punishment: Bad dog, no nookie! Heat: All pets go into heat, and it's the responsibility of the owner to take care of this problem. After all, unchecked dry humping kills thousands every year. Breeding: Breeders know the best qualities in each type and mate the cream of the crop together to continue lines. It's a hobby for some, a calling for others. Territorial: Hey, hey, other dog person! This is your apartment. Stay the fuck out! Kennel: Kennels are where unadopted pets are kept. They're generally agreed to be depressing places. Why not volunteer at one, keeping the pets healthy and happy with the kind of affection only humans can show? Rebelling Against the System: Damn the Man! Pet people are people, too! Just be careful not to get talk. You know what happens to bad pets. Instant Attraction: You ever just look at someone and know they're the one? That they're...your master? But what if you've been trying to fight it? Well, don't try! Dominant Pet: You might be the pet, but you call the shots, at least in the bedroom. Pet Show: Everyone wants to show off how perfect their animal is. Look at that ass! And you'll never believe their special skills... Therapeutic: Pets, especially those bred for their kindliness, are perfect therapy for those who've been through trauma and heartache. Jealousy: Who's that around your master? Oh, hell no. They better not be touching them! Petting: Pet people are absolutely gaga for being touched. Even the most steely ones turn to mush for rubs. Games: Playing with your pet and giving them exercise is a key to happiness. Of course, with a pet person, you might want to use other toys instead of a ball.

Comments

[eidxiety]

You don't owe me, [he says, already sounding like he might fall back asleep,] but maybe... you can carry me around again while we're here.

[This is all Ain wants in life, is for pretty boys to pick him up and carry him. Parade him around like the pretty bird he is. He wants to be princess-carried like they're on their honeymoon.

Speaking of... honeymoons... tangentially related, just as Ophelia comes in to give Ain a bottle of water and he's forced to sit up again:]

What are we calling ourselves, now? [sip,] Are we... boyfriends?

[thestampede]

[No you shh he owes you, this is the only way he can stop himself from doing anything dumb in the immediate future...but okay, fine. Carrying Ain all over the place is a decent compromise. If he could do it in the village, he certainly can do it here.

Vash had opened his mouth, likely to say something to that effect, when he's immediately caught off guard by what Ain asks him.

Are we...

Vash feels his heart seize for a moment.]

I...I'd really like that. [He whispers that, as if he's afraid of being overheard.] But is it...okay?

[Like, of course THIS is the legal thing he's worried about above all else-]

not to introduce a/b/o into the situation but also--

[eidxiety]

...why would it not be?

[Like... okay. He knows why it wouldn't be okay, because if he walked outside (out-outside not outside-of-this-building-here-outside) and said "boyfriend" and then pointed to this human-passing guy, people would throw cans at them and call them disgusting until they left, and some people will even get violent about it. But... in private, between them, or around Ain's friends? Yeah. That's fine.]

Unless you'd rather be "mates", but that's... aha, that's a bit heavier.

BUT ALSO

[thestampede]

[Vash...isn't entirely sure he understands why, but the way Ain says that..."mates"?

It makes him blush. He flusters. It's...heavier? What does that mean...?]

Wha...um. What would that...mean, exactly?

[eidxiety]

[Ain sort of walks himself into these conversations and goes "hmm" every time, like, "hmm is this a conversation I want to have with a high fever and general fatigue?" and the answer is no, because he wants to have this conversation while getting increasingly hornier about it, because that seems hot, but. Unfortunately. He has a big mouth.

Oh well, maybe he can explain now and they can act feral about it later.]

It's hard to put into words. It's someone you spend the rest of your life with... like a wedding for humans, but there's not really any taking it back. You mate for life. It doesn't work with humans, but you're... not, [Ain hums,] so...

...

Haha, it's just something I'm thinking about now.

[thestampede]

[......Well.

Vash is. Becoming increasingly this face as he sits there with his head resting gently on Ain's shoulder, trying his best not to think too hard right now about this (he is thinking way too hard about it pretty much immediately), because all that does is raise even more questions.

Someone you spend the rest of your life with? So it's like getting married...but permmanent? He...

Vash swallows thickly, finding his throat to suddenly be very dry.]

You...you are?

[Wait what he's thinking about it, they've been boyfriends for a WHOLE MINUTE]

[eidxiety]

Is that weird? Haha, [yeah that's a little fast buddy,] it was just a suggestion. It's not one we can do now, though. There's a... way to do it properly. The good news is, since you're not really human, it should work the way it does for pets when we bond to each other. ...probably. Your senses will be heightened around me, it'll be fun!

[Being able to smell when your pet goes into heat is not fun probably, it sounds stressful. This sounds like a stressful thing to happen. But Ain's being dodgy about it on purpose now, sipping his water like he didn't just suggest something of a forever-wedding.]

We can talk about it more seriously the next time I go into heat.

[JUST PUTTING THAT OUT THERE HI HE'S NEVER BROUGHT THAT ONE UP BEFORE,]

[thestampede]

[No you get back here, you're the one who put the idea of a forever-wedding into Vash's brain and YOU will take responsibility over him being slightly insane about it for the next two or three weeks while you're ill--

THE NEXT TIME YOU WHAT]

A-....uh...oh.

[Vash mutters. Because yeah. Oh.

o h

He is speaking a little fast, suddenly, his voice having risen an octave or two.]

I-I-It's not weird!

[daijoubu daijoubu-]

I just hadn't....really. Thought about that...before...

[The idea of him being a Plant- an alien, IE inhuman at his core- means that he's closer to a pet than anything...

It's starting to click more and more now why Nai cares about their plight so much. Or, maybe he just has a god complex-]

[eidxiety]

[Snickers into the water bottle.]

You're cute. Don't worry, it shouldn't happen for a bit.

[They've got a month... maybe a month and a half if they're lucky... before Ain hits the fucking deck and becomes the most needy, whiny person ever. You thought he was bad now.]

Am I a bad influence on you~? [gross drink your water]

[thestampede]

Well, I mean... [BAD is relative, here.] ...I'd never had sex before I met you, so...

[Does...does that count? Not that he's implying sex is a bad thing, but also-]

[eidxiety]

[Ain polishes off that water bottle and then sinks back down to lay with Vash, cuddling in close as he normally does.]

I'm aware, [this is NOT meant to be backhanded.] The Church would have my head for this, you know? They'd tell me I'm being very evil.

[...]

I'm glad I was your first, though. I'll always treat you better than anyone else ever will. Mm... I'd get jealous if anyone else put their hands on you, too.

[sometimes the yandere switch briefly toggles on.]

[thestampede]

[Once Ain is laying back down, Vash is quick to wrap his arm around him so he can tug him closer to his side. It's tempting to pull the covers up over them both, but he knows that dinner will be ready soon...he probably shouldn't encourage Ain to go back to sleep, and instead let him just pass out after dinner indefinitely.]

The Church...maybe doesn't know what it's talking about?

[That's probably the most genuine someone ever could have said that, because coming from anyone else it would have sounded sarcastic as hell.]

You don't have to worry about that. There's no one else I'd want to do that with...and nobody else going up against you for my affection.

[>Nai has entered the chat]

[eidxiety]

[Ain will simply have to murder Nai :)

Also why no sleep if he's eepy?? He wants to curl up on Vash and sleep... no need to do anything else here, no need for dinner or anything (said the man who was eating like, one half-meal a day just to get them here), no needs at all! He should... probably also bathe, but like.

Eepy.]

Haha, no, they never did. It's kind of sad, isn't it?

[...starts trilling, he loves Vash hugs.]

...are you doing anything else today? Do you want to take a nap with me?

[eating we are eating food there is dinner you will have food]

[thestampede]

[For the love of god eat something Ain, holy shit.

When asked that, though, Vash...is not thinking about food at the moment, instead sinking deeper and deeper in to the pillows and blankets of this bed. Sure, the mattress might be small and not super plush, but god does it beat a cave or the forest floor. He could sleep here for days, but he's trying not to get sleepy...no eepy...]

Mmm...dinner...

[He manages, blinking his eyes out of sync.]

Probably not for a while, though...

[eidxiety]

[No.... he's eepy....... it is too late for him.........

Sleepily:]

Who are you going to dinner with?

[you are so stupid]

[thestampede]

Mmhh...

[Vash yawns, turning his face against Ain's shoulder. His brain tells him to say "the others", but instead, what comes out is:]

Chung...

[eidxiety]

[See, Ain — in his extremely sleepy state — cannot be mad about this because Chung is the least-threatening person to him. Everyone should take Chung to dinner. However if it were Add there might be hands thrown.

Ain yawns.]

Okay. Tell him I said "hi".

[...zzzzz...

They'll be asleep for a whole half-hour, good for them, before the door opens and there's a loud clamoring, and then:]

Ain!! How are you feeling!!!

[Meanwhile, Ain jumping out of his skin,]

[thestampede]

[Vash...is pretty much out himself just seconds after Ain is. Ain is warm and soft and he loves him, and Vash has not slept since they got here so zzzzz

But as it happens when you're sleeping, that half hour feels more like two minutes have gone by before the door just...explodes open, and all at once Vash is jumping awake himself, trying to push himself up...on an arm he's currently not in posession of, oops.

Hi Elsword, Ain has a Boy in bed with him who looks very bewildered, his blonde hair sticking up in all directions.]

[eidxiety]

[It probably says a lot about this group that Elsword is wholly Unsurprised to see Ain in bed with a boy. All he does is whip around and loudly ask someone in the hallway — quickly determined to be Eve — "is that Ain's boyfriend???" and that spirals a whole Thing from the other hidden group members, with Chung saying "So they ARE boyfriends?" and Add gagging and several "AIN HAS A BOYFRIEND? LIKE A REAL ONE???" so thanks guys.

Ain shoots one (1) apologetic glance at Vash as like twelve people shuffle into what is essentially a studio apartment and make themselves at home. Hi, this is how they all act. Vash will probably be able to pin all of them from the photos, too. Not many of them have changed much.

Meanwhile, Dachie and Mini-Dachie are very excited to see people. And also to see food, because holy hell they brought a fucking buffet of Chinese takeout.]

Oh, wow, you didn't want to knock? [Sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed, come here Vash come say hi.] Did you bring dinner here...?

We were knocking for a solid two minutes—

Yeah!! [shut up Add don't be rude, Elsword Is Speaking™] Eve said you weren't feeling well, so we brought dinner to you... both of you, actually, hehe.

[One thing is definitely clear: Chung was not lying when he told Vash that the redhead is A Dog. His tail is whipping someone in the leg currently.]

[thestampede]

[Oh my god, what is happening, he just woke up and he didn't even properly get into rem sleep so he feels like he got hit by a truck. Vash groans softly under his breath as he forces himself to sit up more properly, remembering he only has one working arm currently as he uses that to scrub at his eyes. He definitely heard that exchange between several people loudly declaring them boyfriends, so it's good that they had that conversation already...but also, it does tell Vash that he had no reason to worry about how a pet dating a human(?) would be perceived. They simply seem to not care, which is a huge relief.

But also, wow, there are...so many people in here, suddenly. Vash scoots back against the headboard of the bed a little before following Ain's example, swinging his legs over but making sure he's still sitting next to his bird as he does so.]

S-sorry...I guess we dozed off.

[No, they fell the fuck to sleep wholesale. It's what happens when you haven't had a good night's sleep in days.]

Is all of this really for us...?

[Well. Not ALL of it.]

[eidxiety]

[Ain was very tired. He vaguely remembers a conversation about dinner with Vash before this, but...?]

Well, not allllll of it... [Elsword is taking this very literally as you can see.] You'll like it, though, I promise! It's from Ara-noona's brother's restaurant.

[Surprise these people are like 97% Korean, except for the aforementioned fox-girl, who is Chinese. And then we all gesture to the one (1) white man in the party like hi this is a German bird we found outside,

but it's fine.

Anyway, Ain follows that comment up with "Mr. Half-Demon didn't cook anything?" and then it's a blue-haired goat that speaks up to complain he didn't have enough notice to make something fancy. Ain he is going to Get you. (Also, is it racist to call a goat a demon, more at ten.)

Anyway, hope Vash can keep a lot of names in his head, because not only do they start introductions while they pass out food (and it is, by the Gods, a lot of fucking food), but Ain also appends introductions with nicknames. Chung is "Mr. Guardian", et cetera, everyone besides Elsword has nicknames. Really awful, horrible nicknames.]

[thestampede]

[Fortunately for Vash and everyone here, Vash- being a Plant- is very smart. There may be some things he doesn't quite understand, but he's been around for over a century at this point. He's fast on the uptake, and he can memorize a lot of useless information when he wants to. So, every time Ain helpfully chimes in to add a nickname to someone's actual name, he tries to commit it to memory since he knows Ain is going to use the nicknames, so he needs to be able to decipher them on the fly. It does not go amiss that Elsword is the only one lacking in a nickname, though. Hm.]

Thank you! This is very nice of you...

[He comments as he gratefully takes his portion of food, and...realizes he has not eaten in several hours when Ain did get to eat so he is going to dig into his food, thanks. He hopes it's not rude but he is starving...and is just. Inhaling it. Everyone here is going to realize right off the bat that he is a Black Hole.

...at some point during introductions though, he will try to sneak the Dachies a noodle each. Here u go friends.]

[eidxiety]

[Vash is free to ask about this Later.

It's funny, because the two black holes in the room are the people you don't expect it to be from. Lu, one of the other goats, is a small and petite woman who's eaten her entire share by now and one third of Ciel's. Vash doesn't look like he eats as much as he does, but he do. And then there's the biggest guy in the room, something like 6'3" and shredded to the point where the buttons on his already half-undone shirt are about to explode off of him, who's eating very politely and quietly in the back of the room.

Ain finds all of this very silly, personally. And yes, the Dachies are all over Vash now, he is not subtle because the larger one makes it completely unsubtle what he's doing. Vash is now Best Friend, give more food please—]

Vash! [(several people are typing)] Don't you have any fun stories to tell everyone?

[Yes you are Immediately on the spot hi hello.]

[thestampede]

[Nooo babies he's trying not to get you in trouble please be more subtle about this-

Vash's head snaps up when he hears his name called, and just as he's dangling another noodle for the dachie pair, he realizes that every eye in the room has turned to him. Uh.

He quickly lets it go and sits back, shuffling his plate a little in his lap even though he's pretty much cleaned it entirely save for the little bits he's saves for the babies.]

Oh, me?

[He points an index finger at himself like he doesn't know who the fuck they're talking about like yes, yes you-

He's at a bit of a loss though because, like...a lot of his "fun" stories involve escaping the law...or stealing things to get by...and those aren't exactly fun, are they? Nor does that give a very good impression of the person Ain is now dating...

So what if he makes it

worse.

Accidentally]

Haha well...all my stories from before I met Ain aren't all that interesting, to be honest.

[eidxiety]

[oh no, everyone in this room knows that Ain's dumbass dog and the smaller dumbass blob he's stolen are food-crazed. There's no trouble to be had because if Dachie is not given noodles he will Steal his own, and many people are eating on the floor, very much In Reach of a crime owldog's beak. Really, they should be singing Vash's praises for keeping him occupied.

Anyway, it is Quite unusual for Ain to not call someone by a shitty nickname, so don't mind the stares that are a mix of "???" and ":)" They Know. And now they know More because Vash is saying he has nothing interesting to tell them unless it involves his dumbass bird HMMMMMMMM LOOKS SUSPICIOUS LOOKS LIKE Y'ALL DO BE FUCKIN THO—]

Really? I'll trade you an embarrassing story about Lu for one about Ain. [says Ciel, with his full chest, and Ain levels a stare at him that's Friendly but could also melt ice at the same time Lu lets out an offended noise. How dare he.]