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i am robbing bakerstreet again

PET PERSON MEME

>> premise

Hello, and welcome to The Care and Keeping of Your Pet! As you surely know, a pet is a big responsibility, and we're so glad you've decided to be a concientious master. A safe pet is a happy pet, and this handbook is certain to keep your precious lifelong friend as content as can be.

The history of the animal person is a long and difficult one, with their origins not being known even to this day. However, scientists believe that despite our common appearance - most animal people have humanoid forms except for the ears, tails, and sometimes teeth - we share no common ancestry, even if the ascent of this species corresponds with that of the homo sapien. We gained dominance over each breed thousands of years ago, beginning with the dog type, who have long been considered "man's best friend." Most breeds these days are docile and perfect for owners of any speed.

Of course, it is our duty as the superior species to take care of these animal creatures, and this is inherent in their genetic makeup. Everyone knows that an animal person, when matched with their correct human master, is loyal for life - a true "soulmate," if you will. Far be it for us to turn this away! Ever since the Great Domestication, these intelligent and loving animals have served us as friends, workmates, guardians, servants, and sexual companions and will for years to come. Despite recent hubbub from so-called "Pet People's Rights Activists," this way of life is wholesome and good. Scientific research shows that the natural desire of the pet person is to be owned and cared for by a human.

So, it's your first pet. What do you need to know?

As previously stated, pet people come in as many breeds as you can possibly think of. By far and away the most popular are the dog and cat types, but exotic birds and lizards have been gaining popularity among trendsetters from L.A. to Tokyo!
All pet types are best suited for certain jobs, and when hunting for one, it is best to search for a type that suits your needs best.
However, a "True Match" - when a pet person bonds with you and only you for the rest of their natural lives - comes naturally, and sometimes takes time before you can find the pet you will be able to give a forever home to.
According to all current research, pet people are completely sentient and like us in many ways. However, it is important to remember that they have many animalistic and feral characteristics. Do not be foolish and think that your pet is a person, despite the facts that many are clothed and may be allowed to read, write, and have "hobbies." Some traditional pet owners may eschew these frivolities, and that is within their right.
Pet people age more quickly than humans, at least physically, and many types have long lifespans. It is not uncommon for pets to be passed through the family. When getting your child their first pet, it's important to keep in mind that just because the pup is tiny now, a grown pet can be jumpy around a small child.
It is important to train a pet. Discipline will be necessary. This does not make you a bad owner. Failure to train early will result in a rebellious pet. Training is especially important if you want your pet to serve as a household servant.
Remember, your pet will be extremely protective of you, especially if you are Truly Bonded. It is best to socialize them early. A socialized pet is a perfect family pet.
These days, unowned and unbonded pet people are allowed to live as strays or "Frees" in certain designated areas. Some even hold "jobs." This is against their best interest, and owners who adopt these strays are to be rewarded. Still, the best place to get pets are from liscenced kennels or breeders.
Some masters find it beneficial to participate in activities with their pets, such as shows and other competitions.
Finally, much has been made about the sexual relationship between pet and master. This is a normal facet of the bond, and humans are sure to find pet people sexually alluring. But beyond that, it is only responsible and prudent for owners to care for their pet's needs. It is a well-known fact that the libidos of pet people are remarkably strong, and when they go into heat, it is usually more convenient for a master to relieve them. There is no risk of pregnancy. All rumors of hybrids are urban legends.
Despite this, masters must remember to not view their pets as romantic partners. Humans should stay with humans.

With that said, thank you and welcome to your first day as a pet's master!

>> how to play

Needless to say, The Care and Keeping of Your Pet is a bit biased and full of propaganda, but it gives a good idea of the world your character is now AU's into. They are either a pet person or a human master, and what that means for them varies.

So are they a devoted pet or a rebellious animal person looking to buck the system? A generous master or a cruel sexual sadist? Just a normal pet owner? Most likely they're something in between, but when you're raised in this world, it's difficult to see anything different on the horizon.

Rules

Comment with your character and say whether they'd be a master or a pet. Ideally, they could be played as both. Mention what kind of each they'd be and what they'd be like, (ie: "Xx-chan is a bunny girl who is happy to please her master" or "Asterothia is a cat boy who is aloof but loyal to his true master"). For pets, be sure to include features ("wolf ears, tail, teeth).

REMEMBER, pet does not automatically equal submissive and master automatically equal dominant. This is not a BDSM setting though BDSM can be included. How far you want to go with the actual "pet" aspect is up to you, as well. Your pet could just be your slightly-furry roommate or soulmate!
Comment to others.
Play out the scene.

>> prompts

This by no means an all-inclusive list, but it should get you going in the right direction.

First Time Pet/Owner: Usually, pets are gotten at a young age; you're an old dog. Can you learn new tricks?
True Bond: What all masters and pets yearn for...the pet's loyalty and adoration for life.
Love: It's expected for masters to love their pets, but to love them? Romance is strictly forbidden.
Old "Couple": Master and pet have grown together and know each other. You know, know each other.
Loss of Master: The pet has lost their master, perhaps even their True Bond. Is it possible to move on?
Young Master/Older Pet: Pets age quicker than masters, so it's possible to end up with a bit of an "age" difference.
Family Pet: This pet's been raised as part of the family. What happens when their feelings for a family member get more than platonic.
For Your Protection: You don't want to be a master, but you have to take in a pet for their protection lest they be in danger from the general public.
Stray: You're a stray or a "Free." Can you live like this with your biology screaming for you to make a match?
Servant: You're more servant than pet.
All Sex, All the Time: The only purpose for this pet is to service the master, and not in a way that means cleaning their house.
Guard: You're a loyal bodyguard, a service pet. You'll do anything for your master. Anything.
Pet Play: This is for those who prefer to keep their animals on leashes, have them eat from bowls, and keep away from clothing.
Breaking In: Training is important with any pet.
In Love with Another Master...or Pet: To lust after another's master is no better than treason, and to wish to be with another pet just cruel!
Punishment: Bad dog, no nookie!
Heat: All pets go into heat, and it's the responsibility of the owner to take care of this problem. After all, unchecked dry humping kills thousands every year.
Breeding: Breeders know the best qualities in each type and mate the cream of the crop together to continue lines. It's a hobby for some, a calling for others.
Territorial: Hey, hey, other dog person! This is your apartment. Stay the fuck out!
Kennel: Kennels are where unadopted pets are kept. They're generally agreed to be depressing places. Why not volunteer at one, keeping the pets healthy and happy with the kind of affection only humans can show?
Rebelling Against the System: Damn the Man! Pet people are people, too! Just be careful not to get talk. You know what happens to bad pets.
Instant Attraction: You ever just look at someone and know they're the one? That they're...your master? But what if you've been trying to fight it? Well, don't try!
Dominant Pet: You might be the pet, but you call the shots, at least in the bedroom.
Pet Show: Everyone wants to show off how perfect their animal is. Look at that ass! And you'll never believe their special skills...
Therapeutic: Pets, especially those bred for their kindliness, are perfect therapy for those who've been through trauma and heartache.
Jealousy: Who's that around your master? Oh, hell no. They better not be touching them!
Petting: Pet people are absolutely gaga for being touched. Even the most steely ones turn to mush for rubs.
Games: Playing with your pet and giving them exercise is a key to happiness. Of course, with a pet person, you might want to use other toys instead of a ball.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You do what you have to, to survive.

[Ain says, more seriously now, as he's like. comically dripping strawberry sauce down his chin it's FINE he gets it with his tongue.]

I don't think I'd be good at hunting. I'm good at foraging, though. I know what plants you can and can't eat, and which ones can be used for medicine. [He's. y'know. a healer. He got this.] Raw medicinal herbs taste worst than your giant worms, I bet!

[...please don't do that too much in eyeshot of Vash, he's only just learning what it feels like to act up and you're REALLY making him wanna act up suddenly-

Vash is just going to distract himself from watching Ain lick strawberry sauce off his chin with a piece of fried...he's pretty sure it's zucchini.]

So what you're saying is...if I met you sooner, I wouldn't have had to deal with getting sick in the wilderness so much.

[Oh baby please understand he wants you to act up so badly, he has yet to break your spine.]

Correct. Haha... you really got sick that often? [boy.] What would you do without me? I almost wish you had stumbled upon me sooner.

[Actually, speaking of...]

...if you had met me too soon, though, you would've met me when I still had the underside of my hair dyed bright blue, and when I was a priest. So maybe not that much sooner.

Not often, it's more like-

[He starts to explain, halfway around a mouthful of food, when he stops mid-sentence and lets the rest of what Ain just said sink in properly.]

...did...you just say you were a priest?

Ishmael was religious.

[He thinks he covered that, what with the whole... "adopt a bunch of baby songbirds and raise them to spread the word of the Goddess" thing.]

But yes, I was a priest, albeit temporarily. I took vows and everything! Vows to spread the good word of the Goddess and to never lie and to be pious and celibate.

[Having finished off his, erm, "lunch", Ain leans forward and props his chin in his palm and his elbow on the table.]

Obviously, I've broken many of those, but... priests are always told they should worship on their knees. I think I did a fine job of that yesterday.

[ :) ]

[A Priest. Spreading the word of the Goddess.

...

Vash quirks his lips a bit at that comment- Ain, for the love of god- but it quickly fades because he suddenly feels the need to ask something. He's eaten most of his own food, leaving just a few pieces, as he brings his hands together on top of the table.]

Were you...a good priest?

[Like, did you just mess up stuff on accident, or were you one of those overzealous types, or...

He really doubts Ain was. He doesn't seem like the brainwashing, culty type. But the idea, even the POSSIBILITY, still leaves him feeling a bit uneasy.]

...define "good."

[He doesn't really get why Vash is asking, like please he's trying to flirt with you who CARES about religion, but. He supposes it makes sense. It's part of Ain's history as much as anything else he's brought up today.]

"Good" can mean a lot of things. Was I good at being pious? Mmm... kiiiind of? Haha, I was super into it when I was younger, maybe... eighteen-ish, when I first took my vows and all. But... [He leans back in his chair and shrugs.] ...the Goddess wasn't ever really as kind and loving as I think she's said to be. If she was, I would have been... happy, working under Her. And other people in the world would be happy, too.

Was I good at praying? No, not really. I'd just make stuff up. "Please give me shiny things, amen". I wasn't good at being generous with money, either, but I was good at healing people who were sick and couldn't afford to see a doctor. I wasn't good at showing up for services, unlike my brothers, and I really didn't care to clean the pews or anything.

And I definitely wasn't good at being celibate. Ishmael would be furious if she knew I'm gay, too. You're not allowed to do that in the Church.

[Just. Driving that point home, as he laughs a bit awkwardly, because he's still... not Getting it. He doesn't understand the sudden tense atmosphere, or why it really matters when he said it was in the past. Vash looks upset, almost, and all Ain can do is cock his head to the side as his face falls in turn.]

I think, based on all of that, I was actually a bad priest. ...why?

[He should...explain. He just doesn't want to bring the mood down too much, even though he's kindof already opened the door for that, hasn't he?

Let's just get one thing straight first, though:]

I've...run into priests who aren't like any of that. That use their teachings to trick people who just need help and guidance. Or gods that require...sacrifice to offer up their "blessings" to those who are suffering.

[He looks at his fractured hand on the table, turning it over so it's palm up.]

Compared to that? You were a good priest where it mattered.

Haha, you flatter me, but I don't associate with that much anymore. Believing in something is nice, but I forge my own path, and it doesn't involve prayer or those little wafers or holy water.

[What ARE those wafers about anyway. You can just buy boxes of those and eat them. You can just eat the communion wafers as a snack. Isn't that blasphemous?]

I'm not sure if Ishmael was that type. I think she was just... very adamant about angels and following the texts and forgetting the part that says you can't wear mixed fabrics while she wore mixed fabrics. But I don't really know, since she bought so many songbirds from a pedigree breeder so that they could go sing gospels all day. I was never taught about any sacrifice in that specific religion.

[He frowns, then casts his gaze skyward.]

That sort of thing is common in ancient history. [Hey, listen, sometimes he knows Things.] Most people consider it monstrous now, but that doesn't stop certain pockets from resurfacing, as cruel as it is. Those sorts of people don't care about any of that, though.

[...ah. Lightbulb.]

Are you worried I was one of those?

...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply-

[Vash starts, quickly shaking his head, then averting his gaze back to his hands.

...]

My...previous pet. He was a priest too. Or...he called himself one. I'm not sure if he was a real one at all.

[It honestly seemed more like a cover, but how was Vash supposed to know? He's baby, Rem never taught him about religion and cults and shit like that. It was all science up until he crashed to earth and realized how complicated the world was.]

I guess I've come across a lot of different kinds, haha...but, I. I know you're not like that, Ain. Honestly, it doesn't even matter now...right?

[If it were appropriate, since they're in public, Ain would hold his hand to comfort him. Or just slide his chair over and start chirping like he does, but... people tend to be Judgy, and he's not about to get Vash in any sort of trouble. People at the inn were already suspicious of them just from a relationship standpoint.

They don't need extra attention for if... when someone finds them here.

So, instead, Ain only crosses his arms and rolls his shoulders back, looking casual and calm and not like he wants to crawl into Vash's lap and twitter in his ear.]

The past is the past. I haven't tried to convert you or anything! [It would be a stupid thing to try since he only knows the parts of the scriptures he can contradict.] ...some time, maybe not today or tomorrow or even next week... but some time, if you want to tell me about him, I'll listen.

[God, Vash wishes Ain could get in his lap right now, or hold his hand, or any of those things. As it stands, he has to suffice with staring at his fingers, looking at the way they twitch every so often on his right, yet his left remains dormant and unresponsive. Vash does wish it were easier for him to look past (ha) the past, but that's what trauma does to you. And up to this point, he's never really had anyone he can come clean to about these things. Wolfwood...was far more emotionally stunted and difficult to get along with, but for different reasons. Reasons that he couldn't possibly get into right now.

But the offer to talk, even not any time soon...it's appreciated. He glances up at Ain finally, some of that tension leaving his shoulders.]

You always know the right thing to say, you know?

[This is a BLATANT lie Vash but okay go off]

Do I?

[He gets told Not to say things so often though. Which is it...?]

Maybe... It's just because it's you. I think I can get a pretty good read on you most of the time. Or... Maybe it's because we click. Don't we?

[Oh, yes, they click way too well. In a horrible, awful sort of illegal way that they shouldn't click in. Here they are, though. Here they are.]

...oh, but you didn't laugh at my joke earlier.

[Casual reminder you got too sad and forgot to give him attention and tell him he's very funny—]

[They click. Huh. You know, that...sounds and feels right, in a way that Vash STILL doesn't have the words for. And that's saying a lot, since he thought that he'd never feel the same kind of bond with anyone else that he felt with Wolfwood, and that...wasn't the same as what he has with Ain. Not even close.

Ain is quirky. He's fun. He means well...even in moments like these, where his vanity shines through, and Vash can't help but laugh.]

Sorry, sorry! Can I get a do-over, or is it too late...?

Nope, too late! You'll have to take me to see more of the town to make up for it!

[Ain reaches out to steal one of the last remaining fried vegetables. He thinks it's a carrot. It's going down the hatch.

Good lunch, you two.]

I'll give you more chances to shower me with praise as we go about the day, though. How does that sound?

[Birds are very vain creatures.]

[Good bird. If there's one thing Ain is good at, it's shattering the tension. Vash really needed that right now, especially since they can't really get much closer to each other than they are right now, at least not without finding an alley to duck into...and he's pretty sure a town this small doesn't even HAVE alleys.]

I think I can manage that. We still have a lot more to see after all!

[This town has one alleyway approximately and it's not big enough for anything but a single dumpster and maybe a squirrel.

Ain gets up and, once they've thrown their trash away, he starts making headway through the rest of the town. There's a small shopping strip — what they're on now — with restaurants and little shops and all that. If they go too far, they'll veer off into where the road opens up to lead to the mountain trails and to where those houses on the side of it are, or so Ain would guess. But, there's more town behind them to look at, too.

They don't have money to shop, so this is more just... looking. For fun. Still, they don't ever get to Look For Fun, and Ain is more than happy to point out silly hats in store windows that he thinks Vash should wear if only because he'd be extremely funny-looking in them. Or, there's a small shop selling accessories, and... Ain avoids it because he knows better. He'll want things.

There are also the normal array of people doing stuff here. Some eating food. Some shopping. Some just spending time together. Ain dwells for a fraction of a second too long on one particular duo, holding hands and joking around with each other and generally... Well. Flirting, if he had to guess. In public. Just. Doing that.

...

Ain wants to do that with Vash. It's not fairrrrrrrr... Why are these two humans allowed to do this in public?]

...let's go that way, [he suggests,] there's a laundromat over there, so we can check the prices. Maybe we can bring clothes by later if we can afford to?

[Vash has never particularly felt the sting of not being able to buy and own things all that much. Considering the fact that the red jacket he wears is the one item that's ever been gifted to him by the humans who helped raise him after the ship crashed, it's also the one thing he guards with his life. His prosthetic too, but it takes colatteral damage simply by virtue of being attached to Vash. It comes with the territory, unfortunately. So the idea of having stuff has never occurred to Vash. He couldn't buy it even if he wanted to, and that's not considering money being an issue...he has to be able to pick up and go at a moment's notice, so it only makes sense to travel light.

Window shopping, though, that they can do. He's more than happy to oblige, smiling at Ain's comments and even getting a little flustered at times when he really hammers in the fact that he thinks Vash would look good in any one particular thing...even if he's saying that in more of a "please wear this you'd look so silly" way.

Vash, being Vash, doesn't pay much attention to the couples around. Sometimes he'll smile or wave a little if someone stares for too long, but that's just because he's nice. It's nice to be able to do that and not worry that he'll be recognized. So when Ain mentions they should go a different way, he changes course without a second thought.]

I'd like to, if we can. It's been a while...

[Like, he knows his own stuff is probably getting pretty bad, and he's not even human. So.]

We had enough money for the hotel since it wasn't too expensive, but it still cost most of it. As long as we make sure we have enough for food, it will be fine.

[Vash...doesn't want to steal here. Not if he can help it.]

...I was thinking... [Ain says, as they're looking over a sign in the window out front: OPEN Mon-Sat 7AM-6PM. CLOSED SUN.] ...if people like music here, I could probably make us some extra money. It's okay if they just give it to us, right?

[He wanted to sneak out to do it and surprise Vash with a gift, but they're so... clingy with each other, it's probably a bad idea to do that. Maybe he'll just have Vash stand guard over him Just In Case while he tries to make a street performer of himself. People do that all the time in big cities, so it can work in a small one, right?]

It's like being a bard! But I'm a bird. A bi..r...d.... [there's no funny way to combine those words what the hell.] Then... I could take care of you, for once.

[Honestly, it could have worked if they didn't just escape the law. Because of that, Vash is understandably a bit flighty still, and the instant something starts to go wrong, he'll be inclined to leave. Full stop. It's better, then, to have Ain close...and vice versa, just in case.

To that end, he'll be your bouncer babe don't even worry about it.]

You mean...you'd perform for money?

[It's not a half bad idea. He knows Ain has told him before about how he used to, back before they met.]

It's different if someone's paying you, yeah... [There IS...a bit of concern, that they could draw too much attention inadvertantly...but this town is so isolated. No one seems to have recognized them yet, after all.] If you're comfortable doing it...I don't see why we couldn't give it a try.

Yeah. I've been thinking about it.

[Ain takes a deep breath as he reads over the pricing on the sign. It's your typical laundromat pricing; a couple bucks per load. They don't have much between them, so it would be the cost of one of those slushies they had earlier.]

I want to do something nice for you. You're always bringing food and helping with stray feathers and keeping me from getting hurt.

[Well, it was Ain that dispatched those officers and flew them here, but if Vash hadn't pulled him to the ground, he would have been too slow to dodge that shot and those officers would not be in a Living State for that, Ain thinks. He handles pain like an angry white woman. It's not pretty.]

It's my turn. Let me do the work to get us nice things, okay? I'll do it, mm... tomorrow, since we'll have explored and rested more by then.

[Well now. He can't really say no to that, now can he? And as it stands, Vash can tell that they may actually run out of money before the week is over. The hotel has been pre-paid for- he'd made sure to do this first, since it would be easy to accidentally overspend if they had to pay at the end of their stay- so everything they have left is disposable for things like laundry and food. But since it was just what those cops had in their wallets, it's understandably little. Barely enough to feed them, much less do the other things they need.

So after a moment, Vash nods, looking back at the sign himself so he can commit the prices to memory.]

Tomorrow, then. [...] As long as you reserve at least one of your performances for me.

[Ah, oops, there go the heart palpitations again, haha. Fuck. What the fuck.

Ain wants to touch him, but like earlier, he can't just do that. Maybe a hug wouldn't be so weird, people hug pets all the time, but Ain wants to do a full-out embrace in the street and kiss his cheek like they were earlier.

War flashbacks to the couples here. He wants to do that stuff. Hold hands and kiss in public and try to feed Vash strawberries or something. Ugh. What is wrong with him.

Instead of doing any of that, he occupies himself coyly twirling the end of his braid around his finger. Are his cheeks red? Oh no.]

I always save my best songs for you. You should know that by now.

[Haha, little does Ain know...that Vash keeps having moments like that as well. Ever since last night, the way Ain would just...so casually reach out for him, to hug him or kiss him, it's just...

Addicting? Is that the right word? He feels like it must be, like how someone can get addicted to smoking after just once trying it. And it's not like he and Ain weren't close before, since Ain is a bird who is very needy...but it was never quite like then. There's a shift that's occurred, however subtle, and both of them are feeling it even if they haven't tried putting it into words.

While Ain stands there twirling his braid, Vash lifts his prosthetic to sort of idly tug at one of the edges of his jacket, letting out a breathy laugh.]

Of course! I'm just saying, you know...

[Ah. No, not again. That feeling in his chest is back, that burning...he shakes his head a little, clearing his throat.]

Should we, um...go get our clothes? We should bring them back to be washed before it gets dark.

...yeah, let's do that. It shouldn't take too long, since we don't have much.

[Just a few pairs each. One load of laundry. Like two bucks down the hatch. They won't have to do laundry in the sink and it'll be fine and well.

Ain shuffles along down the sidewalk. It's not really close to being dark, but they've checked out half the town by now and time's a wastin' — it's likely that one of them will get distracted by something and then whoops it'll be 6pm and they'll be tired and need dinner.

Dinner... dinner. What should they do for dinner? It needs to be real food when the time comes. Ain thinks he saw a sandwich shop. Maybe sandwiches. Those are good.

A bridge to burn when they reach it, as they round a couple street corners and find themselves eventually back at the inn. It's a short trip upstairs to grab their stuff — Ain coyly suggests washing the comforter they stole, too, since the load will have room and they sort of. had sex on top of it. oops.

Back down the strip.]

...it still hasn't snowed. [someone explain weather patterns to this man.] But there are plenty of clouds in the sky. Hm...

[Ain honey do you. do you want. to be trapped in a blizzard.]

PET PERSON MEME

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