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i am robbing bakerstreet again

PET PERSON MEME

>> premise

Hello, and welcome to The Care and Keeping of Your Pet! As you surely know, a pet is a big responsibility, and we're so glad you've decided to be a concientious master. A safe pet is a happy pet, and this handbook is certain to keep your precious lifelong friend as content as can be.

The history of the animal person is a long and difficult one, with their origins not being known even to this day. However, scientists believe that despite our common appearance - most animal people have humanoid forms except for the ears, tails, and sometimes teeth - we share no common ancestry, even if the ascent of this species corresponds with that of the homo sapien. We gained dominance over each breed thousands of years ago, beginning with the dog type, who have long been considered "man's best friend." Most breeds these days are docile and perfect for owners of any speed.

Of course, it is our duty as the superior species to take care of these animal creatures, and this is inherent in their genetic makeup. Everyone knows that an animal person, when matched with their correct human master, is loyal for life - a true "soulmate," if you will. Far be it for us to turn this away! Ever since the Great Domestication, these intelligent and loving animals have served us as friends, workmates, guardians, servants, and sexual companions and will for years to come. Despite recent hubbub from so-called "Pet People's Rights Activists," this way of life is wholesome and good. Scientific research shows that the natural desire of the pet person is to be owned and cared for by a human.

So, it's your first pet. What do you need to know?

As previously stated, pet people come in as many breeds as you can possibly think of. By far and away the most popular are the dog and cat types, but exotic birds and lizards have been gaining popularity among trendsetters from L.A. to Tokyo!
All pet types are best suited for certain jobs, and when hunting for one, it is best to search for a type that suits your needs best.
However, a "True Match" - when a pet person bonds with you and only you for the rest of their natural lives - comes naturally, and sometimes takes time before you can find the pet you will be able to give a forever home to.
According to all current research, pet people are completely sentient and like us in many ways. However, it is important to remember that they have many animalistic and feral characteristics. Do not be foolish and think that your pet is a person, despite the facts that many are clothed and may be allowed to read, write, and have "hobbies." Some traditional pet owners may eschew these frivolities, and that is within their right.
Pet people age more quickly than humans, at least physically, and many types have long lifespans. It is not uncommon for pets to be passed through the family. When getting your child their first pet, it's important to keep in mind that just because the pup is tiny now, a grown pet can be jumpy around a small child.
It is important to train a pet. Discipline will be necessary. This does not make you a bad owner. Failure to train early will result in a rebellious pet. Training is especially important if you want your pet to serve as a household servant.
Remember, your pet will be extremely protective of you, especially if you are Truly Bonded. It is best to socialize them early. A socialized pet is a perfect family pet.
These days, unowned and unbonded pet people are allowed to live as strays or "Frees" in certain designated areas. Some even hold "jobs." This is against their best interest, and owners who adopt these strays are to be rewarded. Still, the best place to get pets are from liscenced kennels or breeders.
Some masters find it beneficial to participate in activities with their pets, such as shows and other competitions.
Finally, much has been made about the sexual relationship between pet and master. This is a normal facet of the bond, and humans are sure to find pet people sexually alluring. But beyond that, it is only responsible and prudent for owners to care for their pet's needs. It is a well-known fact that the libidos of pet people are remarkably strong, and when they go into heat, it is usually more convenient for a master to relieve them. There is no risk of pregnancy. All rumors of hybrids are urban legends.
Despite this, masters must remember to not view their pets as romantic partners. Humans should stay with humans.

With that said, thank you and welcome to your first day as a pet's master!

>> how to play

Needless to say, The Care and Keeping of Your Pet is a bit biased and full of propaganda, but it gives a good idea of the world your character is now AU's into. They are either a pet person or a human master, and what that means for them varies.

So are they a devoted pet or a rebellious animal person looking to buck the system? A generous master or a cruel sexual sadist? Just a normal pet owner? Most likely they're something in between, but when you're raised in this world, it's difficult to see anything different on the horizon.

Rules

Comment with your character and say whether they'd be a master or a pet. Ideally, they could be played as both. Mention what kind of each they'd be and what they'd be like, (ie: "Xx-chan is a bunny girl who is happy to please her master" or "Asterothia is a cat boy who is aloof but loyal to his true master"). For pets, be sure to include features ("wolf ears, tail, teeth).

REMEMBER, pet does not automatically equal submissive and master automatically equal dominant. This is not a BDSM setting though BDSM can be included. How far you want to go with the actual "pet" aspect is up to you, as well. Your pet could just be your slightly-furry roommate or soulmate!
Comment to others.
Play out the scene.

>> prompts

This by no means an all-inclusive list, but it should get you going in the right direction.

First Time Pet/Owner: Usually, pets are gotten at a young age; you're an old dog. Can you learn new tricks?
True Bond: What all masters and pets yearn for...the pet's loyalty and adoration for life.
Love: It's expected for masters to love their pets, but to love them? Romance is strictly forbidden.
Old "Couple": Master and pet have grown together and know each other. You know, know each other.
Loss of Master: The pet has lost their master, perhaps even their True Bond. Is it possible to move on?
Young Master/Older Pet: Pets age quicker than masters, so it's possible to end up with a bit of an "age" difference.
Family Pet: This pet's been raised as part of the family. What happens when their feelings for a family member get more than platonic.
For Your Protection: You don't want to be a master, but you have to take in a pet for their protection lest they be in danger from the general public.
Stray: You're a stray or a "Free." Can you live like this with your biology screaming for you to make a match?
Servant: You're more servant than pet.
All Sex, All the Time: The only purpose for this pet is to service the master, and not in a way that means cleaning their house.
Guard: You're a loyal bodyguard, a service pet. You'll do anything for your master. Anything.
Pet Play: This is for those who prefer to keep their animals on leashes, have them eat from bowls, and keep away from clothing.
Breaking In: Training is important with any pet.
In Love with Another Master...or Pet: To lust after another's master is no better than treason, and to wish to be with another pet just cruel!
Punishment: Bad dog, no nookie!
Heat: All pets go into heat, and it's the responsibility of the owner to take care of this problem. After all, unchecked dry humping kills thousands every year.
Breeding: Breeders know the best qualities in each type and mate the cream of the crop together to continue lines. It's a hobby for some, a calling for others.
Territorial: Hey, hey, other dog person! This is your apartment. Stay the fuck out!
Kennel: Kennels are where unadopted pets are kept. They're generally agreed to be depressing places. Why not volunteer at one, keeping the pets healthy and happy with the kind of affection only humans can show?
Rebelling Against the System: Damn the Man! Pet people are people, too! Just be careful not to get talk. You know what happens to bad pets.
Instant Attraction: You ever just look at someone and know they're the one? That they're...your master? But what if you've been trying to fight it? Well, don't try!
Dominant Pet: You might be the pet, but you call the shots, at least in the bedroom.
Pet Show: Everyone wants to show off how perfect their animal is. Look at that ass! And you'll never believe their special skills...
Therapeutic: Pets, especially those bred for their kindliness, are perfect therapy for those who've been through trauma and heartache.
Jealousy: Who's that around your master? Oh, hell no. They better not be touching them!
Petting: Pet people are absolutely gaga for being touched. Even the most steely ones turn to mush for rubs.
Games: Playing with your pet and giving them exercise is a key to happiness. Of course, with a pet person, you might want to use other toys instead of a ball.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[You know, most people would say fried cheesecake in any form isn't exactly a suitable breakfast either. These two are walking around just eating desserts straight up, but does Vash care? No. He's lucky to get a meal, so being able to indulge like this is a rarity. They've got the money (ill gotten, but still), so they're going to spend it however they damn well please. At least even in this line, they're able to continue talking without being interrupted by the locals, who are more interested in their own orders than the people around them.

Save for a few youngsters, which Vash notices watching him past their parents' legs. Most notably, they keep sneaking glances at his shiny, blueish-green prosthetic, which he can't exactly blame them for.]

Candy is bad for you, [He corrects, parroting Rem's words.] But it's okay every once in a while.

[Buying and eating as much candy as he could sounds like something he would have done as a kid though, so it makes him crack a smile regardless.

But then the topic rolls around to him, and his childhood, and he realizes...he's never really told Ain much of it at all, if anything. The only reason he knows who Rem is, is because he's had that same recurring nightmare, over and over.]

I was...a handful. [He admits, after taking a sip of his slushie.] I was really curious about pretty much everything. I asked questions all the time...probably too much. And I really loved to eat.

My...brother and I got into fights sometimes too. But we were close.

[Candy is NOT bad for you in this essay Ain will—]

Haha, really? If we met when we were children, [Vash is like a hundred years older than Ain is but still,] we would've been a handful. Two menaces. I think it would've been fun!

[The queue shuffles forward, and Ain is heavily considering their noon breakfast is just gonna be cheesecake bites and slushies and maybe that's what they need in their lives. It's comfort food for a reason. Like, they have other things here — fried fish baskets and fried chicken and fried vegetables, even, which kind of defeats the purpose of a vegetable — but Ain gravitates to anything that could feasibly rot his teeth.]

You still love eating, though, [Ain remarks, pointedly.] I wish I could cook. Haha, I'd make you lots of good food.

Can you blame me? Everything tastes so good.

[Vash in particular has a sweet tooth, which only gets to be satisfied every so often. These slushies were an excellent choice on Ain's part. It really hits the spot after so long of not having anything like it.]

Maybe one of these days, if we ever get enough time and money...we can find a simple recipe and figure out how to make it? It can't be that hard.

[>Famous last words]

[It'll be fine Ain has never set a fire before. What's the worst that could happen.]

Right. It can't be. If they can fry a cheesecake, we can make... [hm.] Bread.

[you cannot.

They're next in the queue, though, and guess what. They are Ordering cheesecake bites, this is what Ain opens with. He wants the fried cheesecake. Vash can order whatever he wants, Ain wants to have a sugar rush. Naturally, the things are served piping hot and with a small disposable cup of strawberry sauce for dipping.

Ain scoots his way over to the nearest table and sits down after they receive everything. He does not wait for these to cool much. They're Going into his mouth.]

Does everything taste good? [Ain asks, picking up where they left off.] What's the weirdest thing you've eaten?

[Ain honey why did you pick one of the notoriously harder things to make why bread-

As Ain orders his cheesecake bites, Vash decides to order a basket of fried vegetables for them to share. It's not...NOT healthy? And it's more in the vein of real food, which they do need to put into their bodies at some point lest they crash and die. It's still not much of a breakfast, but it's also past noon at this point. This is lunch.

Vash saunters after Ain, and if he weren't more interested in letting Ain try the bites first, he would probably have popped one scalding fresh from the oil into his mouth himself. Thank you Ain, you've inadvertantly saved Vash from himself this day. As they sit and Vash- what else- immediately starts picking things up with his hands because that's what hands are FOR, he answers with zero hesitation:]

Worms. Definitely worms.

[Those...do not taste good.]

You ate worms?!

[Ain does not even try to muffle his laughter, nope, he just barks out a laugh in between bites of, erm, cheesecake bites.]

Did you eat them out of the ground?! What do they taste like? Did you cook them?!

[And he thought He was the bird in this relationship, holy shit—]

[DON'T MAKE FUN OF HIM OKAY COUNTRY BOYS MAKE DO-]

L-look! Out in the desert, when you don't have anything else to eat...sometimes you have to take what you can get.

[So: worm]

The worms I'm talking about are really big...and they're kindof tough to cook, much less eat. But even then, you'd be struggling if you tried to eat them raw...unless you went for the smaller ones.

[There are little ones that fly around that Wolfwood just regularly snatches out of midair and eats like a fucking animal, and then there are whale-size worms that you can make worm steaks out of, take your pick.]

[Big worms...]

Are they stringy? If they're that big, they're predators, right? I was imagining you eating earthworms like spaghetti at first.

[Boys are... gross. Boys are gross and that's exactly what the face of a little girl nearby says as she turns away from them.]

They're...tough.

[Probably quite stringy as well, honestly. Gross.]

Not exactly what you want to be eating for every meal...or at all, if you can help it.

You do what you have to, to survive.

[Ain says, more seriously now, as he's like. comically dripping strawberry sauce down his chin it's FINE he gets it with his tongue.]

I don't think I'd be good at hunting. I'm good at foraging, though. I know what plants you can and can't eat, and which ones can be used for medicine. [He's. y'know. a healer. He got this.] Raw medicinal herbs taste worst than your giant worms, I bet!

[...please don't do that too much in eyeshot of Vash, he's only just learning what it feels like to act up and you're REALLY making him wanna act up suddenly-

Vash is just going to distract himself from watching Ain lick strawberry sauce off his chin with a piece of fried...he's pretty sure it's zucchini.]

So what you're saying is...if I met you sooner, I wouldn't have had to deal with getting sick in the wilderness so much.

[Oh baby please understand he wants you to act up so badly, he has yet to break your spine.]

Correct. Haha... you really got sick that often? [boy.] What would you do without me? I almost wish you had stumbled upon me sooner.

[Actually, speaking of...]

...if you had met me too soon, though, you would've met me when I still had the underside of my hair dyed bright blue, and when I was a priest. So maybe not that much sooner.

Not often, it's more like-

[He starts to explain, halfway around a mouthful of food, when he stops mid-sentence and lets the rest of what Ain just said sink in properly.]

...did...you just say you were a priest?

Ishmael was religious.

[He thinks he covered that, what with the whole... "adopt a bunch of baby songbirds and raise them to spread the word of the Goddess" thing.]

But yes, I was a priest, albeit temporarily. I took vows and everything! Vows to spread the good word of the Goddess and to never lie and to be pious and celibate.

[Having finished off his, erm, "lunch", Ain leans forward and props his chin in his palm and his elbow on the table.]

Obviously, I've broken many of those, but... priests are always told they should worship on their knees. I think I did a fine job of that yesterday.

[ :) ]

[A Priest. Spreading the word of the Goddess.

...

Vash quirks his lips a bit at that comment- Ain, for the love of god- but it quickly fades because he suddenly feels the need to ask something. He's eaten most of his own food, leaving just a few pieces, as he brings his hands together on top of the table.]

Were you...a good priest?

[Like, did you just mess up stuff on accident, or were you one of those overzealous types, or...

He really doubts Ain was. He doesn't seem like the brainwashing, culty type. But the idea, even the POSSIBILITY, still leaves him feeling a bit uneasy.]

...define "good."

[He doesn't really get why Vash is asking, like please he's trying to flirt with you who CARES about religion, but. He supposes it makes sense. It's part of Ain's history as much as anything else he's brought up today.]

"Good" can mean a lot of things. Was I good at being pious? Mmm... kiiiind of? Haha, I was super into it when I was younger, maybe... eighteen-ish, when I first took my vows and all. But... [He leans back in his chair and shrugs.] ...the Goddess wasn't ever really as kind and loving as I think she's said to be. If she was, I would have been... happy, working under Her. And other people in the world would be happy, too.

Was I good at praying? No, not really. I'd just make stuff up. "Please give me shiny things, amen". I wasn't good at being generous with money, either, but I was good at healing people who were sick and couldn't afford to see a doctor. I wasn't good at showing up for services, unlike my brothers, and I really didn't care to clean the pews or anything.

And I definitely wasn't good at being celibate. Ishmael would be furious if she knew I'm gay, too. You're not allowed to do that in the Church.

[Just. Driving that point home, as he laughs a bit awkwardly, because he's still... not Getting it. He doesn't understand the sudden tense atmosphere, or why it really matters when he said it was in the past. Vash looks upset, almost, and all Ain can do is cock his head to the side as his face falls in turn.]

I think, based on all of that, I was actually a bad priest. ...why?

[He should...explain. He just doesn't want to bring the mood down too much, even though he's kindof already opened the door for that, hasn't he?

Let's just get one thing straight first, though:]

I've...run into priests who aren't like any of that. That use their teachings to trick people who just need help and guidance. Or gods that require...sacrifice to offer up their "blessings" to those who are suffering.

[He looks at his fractured hand on the table, turning it over so it's palm up.]

Compared to that? You were a good priest where it mattered.

Haha, you flatter me, but I don't associate with that much anymore. Believing in something is nice, but I forge my own path, and it doesn't involve prayer or those little wafers or holy water.

[What ARE those wafers about anyway. You can just buy boxes of those and eat them. You can just eat the communion wafers as a snack. Isn't that blasphemous?]

I'm not sure if Ishmael was that type. I think she was just... very adamant about angels and following the texts and forgetting the part that says you can't wear mixed fabrics while she wore mixed fabrics. But I don't really know, since she bought so many songbirds from a pedigree breeder so that they could go sing gospels all day. I was never taught about any sacrifice in that specific religion.

[He frowns, then casts his gaze skyward.]

That sort of thing is common in ancient history. [Hey, listen, sometimes he knows Things.] Most people consider it monstrous now, but that doesn't stop certain pockets from resurfacing, as cruel as it is. Those sorts of people don't care about any of that, though.

[...ah. Lightbulb.]

Are you worried I was one of those?

...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply-

[Vash starts, quickly shaking his head, then averting his gaze back to his hands.

...]

My...previous pet. He was a priest too. Or...he called himself one. I'm not sure if he was a real one at all.

[It honestly seemed more like a cover, but how was Vash supposed to know? He's baby, Rem never taught him about religion and cults and shit like that. It was all science up until he crashed to earth and realized how complicated the world was.]

I guess I've come across a lot of different kinds, haha...but, I. I know you're not like that, Ain. Honestly, it doesn't even matter now...right?

[If it were appropriate, since they're in public, Ain would hold his hand to comfort him. Or just slide his chair over and start chirping like he does, but... people tend to be Judgy, and he's not about to get Vash in any sort of trouble. People at the inn were already suspicious of them just from a relationship standpoint.

They don't need extra attention for if... when someone finds them here.

So, instead, Ain only crosses his arms and rolls his shoulders back, looking casual and calm and not like he wants to crawl into Vash's lap and twitter in his ear.]

The past is the past. I haven't tried to convert you or anything! [It would be a stupid thing to try since he only knows the parts of the scriptures he can contradict.] ...some time, maybe not today or tomorrow or even next week... but some time, if you want to tell me about him, I'll listen.

[God, Vash wishes Ain could get in his lap right now, or hold his hand, or any of those things. As it stands, he has to suffice with staring at his fingers, looking at the way they twitch every so often on his right, yet his left remains dormant and unresponsive. Vash does wish it were easier for him to look past (ha) the past, but that's what trauma does to you. And up to this point, he's never really had anyone he can come clean to about these things. Wolfwood...was far more emotionally stunted and difficult to get along with, but for different reasons. Reasons that he couldn't possibly get into right now.

But the offer to talk, even not any time soon...it's appreciated. He glances up at Ain finally, some of that tension leaving his shoulders.]

You always know the right thing to say, you know?

[This is a BLATANT lie Vash but okay go off]

Do I?

[He gets told Not to say things so often though. Which is it...?]

Maybe... It's just because it's you. I think I can get a pretty good read on you most of the time. Or... Maybe it's because we click. Don't we?

[Oh, yes, they click way too well. In a horrible, awful sort of illegal way that they shouldn't click in. Here they are, though. Here they are.]

...oh, but you didn't laugh at my joke earlier.

[Casual reminder you got too sad and forgot to give him attention and tell him he's very funny—]

[They click. Huh. You know, that...sounds and feels right, in a way that Vash STILL doesn't have the words for. And that's saying a lot, since he thought that he'd never feel the same kind of bond with anyone else that he felt with Wolfwood, and that...wasn't the same as what he has with Ain. Not even close.

Ain is quirky. He's fun. He means well...even in moments like these, where his vanity shines through, and Vash can't help but laugh.]

Sorry, sorry! Can I get a do-over, or is it too late...?

Nope, too late! You'll have to take me to see more of the town to make up for it!

[Ain reaches out to steal one of the last remaining fried vegetables. He thinks it's a carrot. It's going down the hatch.

Good lunch, you two.]

I'll give you more chances to shower me with praise as we go about the day, though. How does that sound?

[Birds are very vain creatures.]

[Good bird. If there's one thing Ain is good at, it's shattering the tension. Vash really needed that right now, especially since they can't really get much closer to each other than they are right now, at least not without finding an alley to duck into...and he's pretty sure a town this small doesn't even HAVE alleys.]

I think I can manage that. We still have a lot more to see after all!

PET PERSON MEME

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pls ignore me haphazardly mashing our two canons together it works somehow I PROMISE

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