Hello, and welcome to The Care and Keeping of Your Pet! As you surely know, a pet is a big responsibility, and we're so glad you've decided to be a concientious master. A safe pet is a happy pet, and this handbook is certain to keep your precious lifelong friend as content as can be.
The history of the animal person is a long and difficult one, with their origins not being known even to this day. However, scientists believe that despite our common appearance - most animal people have humanoid forms except for the ears, tails, and sometimes teeth - we share no common ancestry, even if the ascent of this species corresponds with that of the homo sapien. We gained dominance over each breed thousands of years ago, beginning with the dog type, who have long been considered "man's best friend." Most breeds these days are docile and perfect for owners of any speed.
Of course, it is our duty as the superior species to take care of these animal creatures, and this is inherent in their genetic makeup. Everyone knows that an animal person, when matched with their correct human master, is loyal for life - a true "soulmate," if you will. Far be it for us to turn this away! Ever since the Great Domestication, these intelligent and loving animals have served us as friends, workmates, guardians, servants, and sexual companions and will for years to come. Despite recent hubbub from so-called "Pet People's Rights Activists," this way of life is wholesome and good. Scientific research shows that the natural desire of the pet person is to be owned and cared for by a human.
So, it's your first pet. What do you need to know?
As previously stated, pet people come in as many breeds as you can possibly think of. By far and away the most popular are the dog and cat types, but exotic birds and lizards have been gaining popularity among trendsetters from L.A. to Tokyo!
All pet types are best suited for certain jobs, and when hunting for one, it is best to search for a type that suits your needs best.
However, a "True Match" - when a pet person bonds with you and only you for the rest of their natural lives - comes naturally, and sometimes takes time before you can find the pet you will be able to give a forever home to.
According to all current research, pet people are completely sentient and like us in many ways. However, it is important to remember that they have many animalistic and feral characteristics. Do not be foolish and think that your pet is a person, despite the facts that many are clothed and may be allowed to read, write, and have "hobbies." Some traditional pet owners may eschew these frivolities, and that is within their right.
Pet people age more quickly than humans, at least physically, and many types have long lifespans. It is not uncommon for pets to be passed through the family. When getting your child their first pet, it's important to keep in mind that just because the pup is tiny now, a grown pet can be jumpy around a small child.
It is important to train a pet. Discipline will be necessary. This does not make you a bad owner. Failure to train early will result in a rebellious pet. Training is especially important if you want your pet to serve as a household servant.
Remember, your pet will be extremely protective of you, especially if you are Truly Bonded. It is best to socialize them early. A socialized pet is a perfect family pet.
These days, unowned and unbonded pet people are allowed to live as strays or "Frees" in certain designated areas. Some even hold "jobs." This is against their best interest, and owners who adopt these strays are to be rewarded. Still, the best place to get pets are from liscenced kennels or breeders.
Some masters find it beneficial to participate in activities with their pets, such as shows and other competitions.
Finally, much has been made about the sexual relationship between pet and master. This is a normal facet of the bond, and humans are sure to find pet people sexually alluring. But beyond that, it is only responsible and prudent for owners to care for their pet's needs. It is a well-known fact that the libidos of pet people are remarkably strong, and when they go into heat, it is usually more convenient for a master to relieve them. There is no risk of pregnancy. All rumors of hybrids are urban legends.
Despite this, masters must remember to not view their pets as romantic partners. Humans should stay with humans.
With that said, thank you and welcome to your first day as a pet's master! |
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Unfortunately, Vash doesn't get the full experience of lazily sleeping in, not when The Traumas are constantly lurking, just waiting for him to slip up and get too comfortable. Because when he sleeps...he dreams. He dreams the same dream he's had for nigh on a century, now.
The loud warning sirens of the ship blare in his ears, the world bathed in red as he's quickly ushered into a cramped escape pod. There's barely enough room for both himself and Nai, the latter who has barely reacted to the chaos that's going on around them. Vash, meanwhile, who struggles to try to get back out of the pod, begs the woman putting him into it to join them. But she doesn't. She stays back, and just before pulling the lever to jettison them into space, she tells Vash that her time with him and his brother truly blessed and enriched her life. That she loved them.
The ship is engulfed with flames, a veritable fireball in the sky. Vash can still feel the overwhelming heat on his face as he jerks awake so violently that he nearly knocks one of the pillows off the bed, sitting up halfway with a gasp of air that rattles in his chest.]
Rem!
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What a way to wake up. Vash flails and then screams and Ain's got the wind knocked out of his sails and a very sudden jumpscare all at once, and it's only when he sits up in a panic that he realises they're not in any immediate danger.
A nightmare, then. Maybe they should have eaten more than a single steamed bun each last night...]
You know, it's usually in poor taste to call someone else's name in bed. [Ain!] ...what is it? Did you have a bad dream?
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His heart feels like it's going to explode out of his chest. It's been decades, and yet it never gets any easier for him to remember as he sinks back against the headboard of the bed, bringing a hand to his face.]
Y...yeah. Sorry...sorry, Ain. I'm okay.
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Ah... I'm sorry. I wish I could make it go away. You were sleeping so peacefully, too.
[Kisses his cheek.]
It's okay. I've been told nightmares can't get you once you wake up. Just focus on me for a little, and it'll go away.
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Vash decides he's going to do just that, if only to drive the image of a night sky filled with molten shrapnel from his mind's eye.
As Ain curls up against him, Vash- instead of just sitting up- decides to allow himself to sink down a little further, just enough so that he can turn to face Ain. And instead of being conservative with his contact, he wraps both arms around him, pressing his face into the side of his neck for a moment so he can just...breathe. He counts every breath in, and every breath out, just like Luida used to teach him. Rem never had to teach Vash such things, because Vash had only been an innocent child, not yet tainted by the world. All of that went out the window, once they crashed onto Earth.
His breathing, previously a little too shallow and uneven to be fruitful, eventually evens out. It slows to a more normal pace, and with his good hand pressing in between Ain's wings, Vash tilts his head back so he can look at Ain's face. It's midday, so the room is quite well lit for how they've been sleeping all day...making it that much easier to see him.]
...your eyes are pretty.
[He finally mumbles, muffled into Ain's collar.]
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[Do Not Be Fooled by his dumb teasing, he's actually a bit flustered by the compliment. It shows in the subtle redness to his cheeks that he's not acknowledging. Not even mentally. Do not perceive him. Why are boys.]
Your eyes are so vibrant and kind all the time. I'm jealous. [He thinks he's jealous. Ain is not unaware of how vindictive he can be when he gets pissed off; meanwhile Vash has tons of love for the world. Ain only recently came to understand it, and it was... hard. It was hard to know why the things he was doing were wrong and why the things he said made people upset. He still doesn't get the latter, sometimes, and unlike Vash he's not above murder if it keeps them both safe.] I like that mark underneath your eye, too. And I like your silly hair...
[He nuzzles against Vash from where they lay.]
Pretty. [Yeah.]
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Jealous? Of me?
[He could say the same about Ain, who is just so...different from anyone else he's ever known. He's so vibrant and unique. Quirky, sassy. He isn't afraid to speak his mind, or- perhaps at times- he simply lacks the concept that what's on his mind shouldn't be said. For Vash, it doesn't matter. Ain has become a rock in what is otherwise a constantly tumultuous storm. Vash is reminded of that as they lay there together, wrapped up in each other like lovers, though they don't have the vocabulary to put it into words.
He presses his face to Ain's neck again, impulsively kissing him there.]
I'm not that special. ...but thank you.
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Aha, if you weren't special, I wouldn't be here. I'm really picky about the people I spend my time with, you know.
[Well. He's not, really, but it's a matter of if he likes them or not. Ain will spend time with most people, but if he doesn't care for them... they'll probably never see him again.]
Oh, but before I kiss you stupid, [acting like they're dating when they're not,] why don't we find something to eat? We still have some money, right?
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Enough to last us most of the week, I think... [He hasn't, uh. BOUGHT...things properly in a while, so oops.] As long as we don't overdo it.
[Not that they'll be going for extravagant, expensive meals or anything like that.]
I didn't think to ask if this inn has breakfast.
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[Ain hums, and he, too, reluctantly pulls back to sit up. If he could choose... he would simply lounge around all day, because it's what they deserve. But he also has the heart of an explorer in him, and if this place is nice? He wants to poke his head into the cheap little street-food stalls and shops they can't afford. Just to see.]
I think people here are nice so far. We didn't get stopped coming in... so we should be fine, right?
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I'd...rather go out with you.
[Not just to see the town, but to stick close to Ain's side. It wouldn't do to let themselves be lulled into too much of a false sense of security.]
But you're right. It should be fine.
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It's with boundless enthusiasm that he slides out of bed and tugs on Vash's hand like he's not moving fast enough, c'mon c'mon c'mon, and then makes his way toward the door to put his shoes on.]
I think it'll be nice. [Oh, and his coat, too, he can't forget his coat.] We never get to have fun days on the town like this. I want to look at everything, even if we're not buying anything.
...do you think they have a big fountain somewhere?
[no ain you are not getting into the fountain]
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[And just like that, Vash is being ushered up and out of bed by the hand, stumbling a little over his own feet in his struggle to get out of bed without falling flat on his face. He's seen Ain eager and excited about things before of course, but this is enough to bring Vash the rest of the way out of his own head. Thankfully, far enough out that he won't be falling into melancholic reflection, not today.
He wishes there was more to this town, because if he had to guess, they'll probably see everything before half the day is gone (except half the day IS already gone, it's noon, so maybe they'll be able to fool themselves into feeling like there's more than there really is). But, as long as they can see it without being confronted? ...well, that's just fine with Vash.
He takes a moment to work on his own boots before slinging his jacket on, making another mental note to look into a dry cleaining place or something, a laundromat even, before beating one foot against the floor to get his shoe on the rest of the way.]
Haha, maybe! It's a mountain town, it would be themeatically fitting.
[He figures, since he's seen such things in picture books and whatnot. Vash is not thinking about Ain getting into the fountian, even though he probably should see the warning signs.]
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>there is possibly a fountain
>ain is a bird
In modern society they must deal with troubles like birds, dogs, and snakes climbing into fountains. Vash is possibly going to have to pull his feral bird out from a fountain if they find one because Ain has two braincells clonking around in his head and they will combust when instinct takes over.
They'll burn that bridge when they reach it. For now, Ain makes sure that they have the key to get back into the room, and then they're off to go look at the town. The girl at the front desk at the inn seems much more Alive when they pass by, though not alive enough to do much more than wave.
Outside, the small town is as bustling as a small town can be, but yet again no one looks at them funny. They simply see a human (source needed) and his bird and move on with their lives. It's so weird. It's awesome.]
It's pretty here, [Ain says, staring off into the distance.] Look, there are houses up on the side of the mountain. It looks kind of like a Christmas town.
[He's only ever seen them depicted in books and they're always in the mountains and they're log cabins and they're lit up real nicely. Except it's noon, so minus the lights. But everything else is true.
It is not Christmas, though.]
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It's a quaint little town. It's nothing compared to the cities they've floated through recently, super industrial and busy. Here...the outdoors really seeps through, and it's clear that it's quite secluded from what most people would consider a more populated region. It's not isolated entirely from the grid at all, as evident by the fact that there's power and running water and modern ameneties, it's just got a different feel. Less people, but less is more in this case.
Vash has never told Ain about one town similar to this one in particular that he used to frequent. The people knew him there, lauded him as a hero...because he'd saved it, once. He'd been responsible for helping restore power to the city, ultimately saving them from the ordeal of struggling for fresh water and power to live their lives. The people remembered him, welcomed him warmly when he arrived. It was one of those times where Vash felt happy...he felt like he'd done something good.
But Nai caught up with him. And now, that town...no longer exists. Nothing more than a rubble-strewn husk, and what people do remain likely no longer live there. Vash just knows that he's no longer welcome. Were he to ever show his face again...
He blinks hard, and just like that he's back to the present, listening to Ain chirp happily as he talks about their surroundings. He bobs his head as they walk, nodding with his hands finding their way into his jacket pockets.]
I've only ever seen places like this in books before. It almost feels like we're in a painting, doesn't it?
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[Well, it's... they're in the mountains, so it's likely? The weather isn't winter storm hours here, but Ain is solidly and clearly confused about how mountain weather differs from everywhere else on account of He Has Never Been To A Mountain Before. He's pretty sure they're always supposed to snow. Blizzard levels of snow. Daily.
It's in books.]
Have you ever been in a snowball fight? I bet I could beat you! [He cannot.] —oh! Vash— [Yeah, still on a first-name basis, congrats,] look!
[Ain veers toward a little street food vendor with a short line, pointing toward it in case it's not extremely obvious where he's headed. The only problem is this food is not, erm, a meal — it's a stall selling frozen lemonades and other frozen drinks. You know. Gotta stick with the theme in a small wintery town.]
They're— [fuck what do you call these,] —Fruchtsaftgetränke?
[close enough.]
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He, too, doesn't have a super solid concept of the mountains and how they function, so for all he knows it will snow today. Though speaking of...]
I've never actually seen snow before. Not in person, anyway...just in books.
[So! If it snows, that'll be an experience for everyone. Maybe they can actually get into a snowball fight-
Ain's adhd brain gets the better of him though, and before they can unpack that, Vash is being led in another direction as they reach a vendor up ahead. It's definitely not breakfast, much less actual food.
Vash sort of. Stops walking. Blinks.]
...a. A what?
[Bless you???]
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Fruchtsaftgetränke! The frozen ones! ["The frozen fruit juices" is what he's trying to say. Like a smoothie.] We had something like it before, and it had— [FUCK WHAT'S THE WORD] —it had balls in it!
[Smoothies. With boba pearls. That's what they had.]
Vash!! [Now he's desperate and sad why don't you speak German :(] What are they called?!
[POINTS. TO THE SIGN.]
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Context clues help, though. He looks back up a the sign and yes, they're definitely selling frozen drinks here. A slushie would also suffice.
After a moment, he looks back down at Ain.]
You mean a smoothie?
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[No honey they have slushies— sigh, let him have this.]
You liked these when we had them last, right? [Now he's speaking at normal volume again.] I don't think these have the— [fuck] —the balls. Orbs. In them.
[the ball orbs. you know. the chewy ones.]
Do you want one?
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Even if the word does not describe what this vendor is selling. Vash isn't going to be the one to correct him.
Instead he just smiles and nods, chuckling.]
These are a bit different. [A bit.] But sure! We'll need something to drink when we get something to eat eventually anyway.
[This is Ain's subtle reminder that a slushie is not breakfast.]
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The vendor is all too happy to give them slushies, though. Ain is not particular about food; he leans toward sweet things, but when it comes to likes and dislikes, he wouldn't say he has anything particular. He'll eat just about anything as long as it tastes good. So, when asked what flavour he wants, he chooses something completely random — raspberry is today's pick — and that's that.
The whole time, the vendor talks to Vash while scooping ice and syrup into cups for them, something about "I have a mouse-pet at home" and "she was imported, too" and "the imports are always more fun". And to his credit, he's not saying any of that to be weird — purposely weird — but it is very dehumanizing. Right. People buy pets. They don't just find feral animals out on the street like Vash did and form a co-dependent relationship, they go to trade shows and shelters and travel halfway across the world to get purebreds.
Humans sort of just... don't get it. But Ain can't muster the energy to be too upset over it. It's one of those "pick your battles" things and the argument for pet rights is not on his list today.
His stomach growls. Okay, maybe slushie isn't breakfast. But he waits until they've paid their couple bucks and walked onwards to find actual food before he speaks again, in a joking, aware tone.]
Would you still like me if I wasn't a German pedigree?
[would you still love him if he were a worm]
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Vash has mastered the art of smiling and nodding as the vendor chats with him, and yeah…he’s well used to these attitudes, and honestly he doesn’t even hold it against most people. Most average people, at least, don’t see anything wrong with it. Why would they? Society treats it as not only normal, but expected. There are outliers who take things too far of course, but in a general sense…owning pets makes up their culture. It’s just the way things are, what everyone has always known.
Yet Vash likely never would have had a pet, if it weren’t for his frustrating habit of picking up strays.
He offers the vendor a friendly wave as they move on- he got blueberry for himself- only to get completely taken off guard by Ain’s inquiry.]
Eh? Of course I’d still like you!
[…]
…I didn’t know you were a pedigree…
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[He hums, and then takes a sip of the slushie only to get a mouthful of syrup. Woof. Okay. Little too much there.
Ain stirs the ice and sugar concoction around with his straw.]
It's hard to tell without my documentation, [which is locked away in his prior owner's safe, probably, he'd imagine,] but trust me. I don't really know why I was put into the world. I imagine whoever bred all of us was looking to sell us off to become famous in a way — for singers and actors and the sort. Then, Ishmael bought us as fledglings, and that didn't come to pass, but my fate was rewritten for me anyway.
[He hums, and takes another sip of his drink, this time pausing to look off into the distance.]
Apparently, I costed a lot of money, so she was always angry with me if I wasn't as perfect as my brothers. I don't like being very rigid and proper, though. [Ain is a champagne-in-a-juice-glass bitch.] I think it made her mad, realising that she got the imperfect one from the nest. Haha, I used to get really upset about not being perfect back then, but now I don't really care!
[mmmmm he cares a lil bit tho or else why would he even bring all that up,]
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Being perfect...isn't all it's cracked up to be.
[Vash was not perfect. In fact, in terms of Plant biology, he was probably the worst. Weaker, more feeble, forced to eat and drink and sleep...unlike Nai, who could subsist off nothing at all. Yet compared to humans, Vash is a powerhouse, a regular super-hero in comparison. Sometimes it's strange to think about, especially when the only thing his skills are good for these days is running away.]
I like you the way you are. I can't imagine you being rigid and proper at all, really.
[...]
Um! No offense.
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pls ignore me haphazardly mashing our two canons together it works somehow I PROMISE
https://elwiki.net/wiki/images/e/ea/L3-1new2.png
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gets suck into arknights hole, didnt see I didnt reply to this /pensive clown emote
welcome to arknights
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my duty popped and prevented me from finishing this tag and I believe that's homophobic in this essa
that's very homophobic so we have to cancel FF14 now
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