Hello, and welcome to The Care and Keeping of Your Pet! As you surely know, a pet is a big responsibility, and we're so glad you've decided to be a concientious master. A safe pet is a happy pet, and this handbook is certain to keep your precious lifelong friend as content as can be.
The history of the animal person is a long and difficult one, with their origins not being known even to this day. However, scientists believe that despite our common appearance - most animal people have humanoid forms except for the ears, tails, and sometimes teeth - we share no common ancestry, even if the ascent of this species corresponds with that of the homo sapien. We gained dominance over each breed thousands of years ago, beginning with the dog type, who have long been considered "man's best friend." Most breeds these days are docile and perfect for owners of any speed.
Of course, it is our duty as the superior species to take care of these animal creatures, and this is inherent in their genetic makeup. Everyone knows that an animal person, when matched with their correct human master, is loyal for life - a true "soulmate," if you will. Far be it for us to turn this away! Ever since the Great Domestication, these intelligent and loving animals have served us as friends, workmates, guardians, servants, and sexual companions and will for years to come. Despite recent hubbub from so-called "Pet People's Rights Activists," this way of life is wholesome and good. Scientific research shows that the natural desire of the pet person is to be owned and cared for by a human.
So, it's your first pet. What do you need to know?
As previously stated, pet people come in as many breeds as you can possibly think of. By far and away the most popular are the dog and cat types, but exotic birds and lizards have been gaining popularity among trendsetters from L.A. to Tokyo!
All pet types are best suited for certain jobs, and when hunting for one, it is best to search for a type that suits your needs best.
However, a "True Match" - when a pet person bonds with you and only you for the rest of their natural lives - comes naturally, and sometimes takes time before you can find the pet you will be able to give a forever home to.
According to all current research, pet people are completely sentient and like us in many ways. However, it is important to remember that they have many animalistic and feral characteristics. Do not be foolish and think that your pet is a person, despite the facts that many are clothed and may be allowed to read, write, and have "hobbies." Some traditional pet owners may eschew these frivolities, and that is within their right.
Pet people age more quickly than humans, at least physically, and many types have long lifespans. It is not uncommon for pets to be passed through the family. When getting your child their first pet, it's important to keep in mind that just because the pup is tiny now, a grown pet can be jumpy around a small child.
It is important to train a pet. Discipline will be necessary. This does not make you a bad owner. Failure to train early will result in a rebellious pet. Training is especially important if you want your pet to serve as a household servant.
Remember, your pet will be extremely protective of you, especially if you are Truly Bonded. It is best to socialize them early. A socialized pet is a perfect family pet.
These days, unowned and unbonded pet people are allowed to live as strays or "Frees" in certain designated areas. Some even hold "jobs." This is against their best interest, and owners who adopt these strays are to be rewarded. Still, the best place to get pets are from liscenced kennels or breeders.
Some masters find it beneficial to participate in activities with their pets, such as shows and other competitions.
Finally, much has been made about the sexual relationship between pet and master. This is a normal facet of the bond, and humans are sure to find pet people sexually alluring. But beyond that, it is only responsible and prudent for owners to care for their pet's needs. It is a well-known fact that the libidos of pet people are remarkably strong, and when they go into heat, it is usually more convenient for a master to relieve them. There is no risk of pregnancy. All rumors of hybrids are urban legends.
Despite this, masters must remember to not view their pets as romantic partners. Humans should stay with humans.
With that said, thank you and welcome to your first day as a pet's master! |
no subject
Well. So he claims.]
Oh? I'll keep that in mind, I guess.
[This Is A Surprise Tool That Will Help Us Later™.
...Munch, munch.]
You're one of the nicer people I've met, so I suppose I don't have a lot of room to be too cruel, even if you're kind of a mess all the time.
[See, it's that. That's the mean. It's light and teasing and harmless, because if Ain wanted to inflict harm, he'd do it by now.]
no subject
Haha, guilty as charged!
[Guilty of pretty much everything else under the sun too, so. You know. Being called a mess is one of the least awful things Ain could say to him. Even though it is a flavor of mean regardless.]
I'm glad you're not mean to me, though. It would make taking care of you a little bit harder.
no subject
So. He finishes off that steamed bun, and then he just... flops over with his head in Vash's lap. Happy bird hours.]
So noble! And I get to be your only pet, even!
[because he would fucking bite any others—]
I'll get you something to repay you one day. A pretty necklace or something. [You know, because... Ain doesn't understand gift-giving, so it tracks he should just get something he'd like and give it to Vash? Like that's just logic. That's how the humans do it.] Mm... I'd have to steal it, though.
[He can, luckily, fly. But still. Outdoor jewelry stalls can be hard to come by in some areas with high crime rates and/or high populations of bird-pets who just want to take objects and run.]
If I had the means, I would decorate you.
[yes this is flirting. No, he doesn't quite realise it could come across that way. Ain is... Head empty. No thoughts. Happy trills, though.]
no subject
Instead, he pops the rest of his own bun into his mouth just in time for Ain to flop over into his lap, causing Vash to sit back a little to give his pet some more room. It's not as if he doesn't have practically the entire couch to himself at this point or anything...]
Oh...that's really sweet of you, Ain. But you don't have to do that.
[Please...don't steal for him. Really. Stealing to survive is one thing, they don't need to start stealing frivelous items they don't need. He's just here to live, not to ruin someone else's livelihood.
When Ain says that, though...Vash feels his heart skip a beat, and for a moment he doesn't even know why.]
Decorate?
no subject
Mm! In jewels and shiny metals and feathers and such. [One of those things is more readily accessible than the others.] Like those pictures of old kings in museums, but less leopard print. I think leopard print is ugly.
[Thanks buddy.]
You'd look nice, I think. Maybe one day.
[If they're ever stable and/or Ain figures out how to rob a royal treasury.]
—we could get you a crown! It'll be so heavy, it might flatten your hair a little!
no subject
Vash, of course, is left briefly at a loss for words. He's never thought of himself in...anything remotely nice looking. He's pretty shabby most of the time, wearing the same oversized red coat, same tattered undershirt and pants that hide his copious scars, same glasses. And his prosthetic, of course, is the same, because that's not so easily replaced...and of course, he's never been exactly a wealthy man, so anything like that would typically be off the table.
Not so, perhaps, for a bird capable of procuring as many trinkets as he desires, assuming he's able to do so without getting caught.
Vash's lips quirk, purse for a moment, then eventually settle into a resigned smile as he brings a hand down to rest on top of Ain's head, brushing his fingers gently over his light hair.]
What's wrong with my hair, huh?
no subject
[Ain theatrically moves his hands about as he talks, making some kind of motion that's meant to represent something puffing up. Fingers spread and moving out from his palms like starbursts and all.]
And I don't think I've ever seen it lie flat unless it's wet. And even then...
[Ain's one to talk. He's got these thick, silver curls and that massive cowlick of his. His hair is also by no means flat, but it is soft and nice to run hands through. Whenever Ain isn't running his mouth, Vash is rewarded with happy trills.
Remember fifteen minutes ago when he was busy pruning? Yeah he forgot about it. There's Boy now.]
Mm... but nothing's really wrong with it. I think it's fine. But you also look funny when it's messed up. As you can see, it's an extremely tough decision to mess with it or not.
no subject
You have this face that makes him want to protect you, Ain.
He continues to gently pull the fingers of his good hand through Ain's hair as he talks, because yes, he definitely could make a comment about that cowlick...but he decides not to, instead happier to let Ain ramble on.]
Well...there's not much I can do about it, I'm afraid. I mean, I can't preen my hair like you can with your feathers!
[He could, but it probably wouldn't work the same.]
no subject
Oh! Well, they made this great new invention recently, actually. I don't know if you've heard of it. It's called a "hairbrush" and I'm almost positive you don't own one.
[This is not a slight against them being flat broke and living with nothing but the clothes on their backs and stolen necessities, this is a playful jest. He's playing. He probably should have been born a conure instead, but no, he's just a very silly mockingbird.
But. Oh yeah. Preening. He was supposed to be doing that. Ain doesn't move from his spot, because he's comfortable, but rather folds one of his wings over to get what he can reach. Molting is... Itchy. It's what he imagines lizards must feel like when they shed, but everywhere.
At least he doesn't look like garbage. Last time his feathers decided they didn't want to be part of his body, he sort of looked like he crawled out of a shallow grave or something. Just real messed-up and tired looking.]
no subject
[Not with all the running around he does! Never mind the fact that that's just how his hair is, and probably will be for the rest of his life. Just...sticking out all over the place like crazy. He didn't get the name "needle-noggin" for nothing, and oh, right, we're still not thinking about that-
Vash instead watches the way Ain brings one of his wings over so he can continue to preen, trying to smooth out the feathers while also plucking free the ones that are trying to molt. It looks uncomfortable...maybe not painful at least, but definitely inconvenient.]
Ah...can I help you at all?
[He doesn't think he should just go pulling out feathers unprompted, but. You know.]
no subject
[He adds idly, because if he didn't? He'd probably have attacked with said newfangled invention by now. It's not hard to come across hairbrushes and combs and stuff, they just need to rob a salon. They can probably steal other cool stuff while they're at it like money from the till and conditioners that cost an arm and a leg.
Now, at the suggestion, Ain breaks eye contact with his feathers and looks up at Vash again.]
I'd have to get up, though... [It's too haaaaaarddddd you're so waaaaaarm :(] ...but I'd appreciate the help. Most of them are loose by now, so all you have to do is comb your fingers through and they should come out.
[Okay. Yeah. Sitting up now, despite pouting for all of five seconds. His wingspan takes up their entire, awful living space, wall-to-wall — but at least he can move his wings about to make it easier. No need to get up.]
Oh, but don't do it too close to where my wings connect to my back.
[Ominous.]
no subject
Also, yes, that is quite ominous...but Vash is a good, Christian boy, so he has no idea what that could mean. Ain just doesn't want him to touch there and so, he won't. Or at least, he'll try his best not to...
Ain's wings are so soft. They're really nice to touch, and thus he's gentle as he starts to comb his fingers through them. Easy around the primaries and tertiaries, letting his fingertips do most of the work. And, as Ain said it would, the feathers just sort of pull away in his hands. He doesn't have to do much, save for shaking the feather clumps off his hand over the side of the couch every so often.]
There you go...that feels better, doesn't it?
no subject
They probably should pack some before they leave anyway. Winter's coming, it'll be cold soon.
He coos as Vash drags his fingers through the feathers. What gaps are left behind will be filled by new ones soon enough, and then in several months, the whole process will happen again and Ain will hate everything. It's an endless cycle.]
Humans have it so easy. You don't have anything like this.
[Well. Yes, but no—]
But yes, it feels much less itchy now. [Whoever cleans up this space when they bail is gonna wonder if a pillow exploded in here.] You're quite helpful! I might just have you do all of it next time.
no subject
Maybe I should let you brush my hair, sometime. You'd be surprised by how much people shed.
[It's not really as soft or as nice as feathers, though. At least Vash's hair is short, so it's not as bad as it could be.]
You know that's what I'm here for, don't you? If that's what you want...I don't mind, really.
[ACTUALLY...............IT'S KINDOF SUPPOSED TO BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND....you know, pet serving Master?
This is. Not that. And yet Vash Doesn't Seem To Care.]
no subject
You're quite the opposite of the only other owner I had. [That word should carry a sour note to it, "owner". It's a word that pets don't like, for obvious reasons. It means bad, evil things, that word, but Ain rather likes the thought of belonging to someone too much to stop.] She was quite... ah... Hm! Let's just say she wasn't too interested in my free will. I like you far better.
[Vash is nice and good and kind, and Ain will murder thousands for him if he really really has to— but for now, he's too busy being pampered, and thinking about all the ways he could pamper Vash in kind. Humans don't have any grooming rituals, do they? Like, they don't have feathers or fur to groom. So he can't do that.
...What do humans even do in the shower if they're not grooming, actually... They take like five minutes?? And they're clean? Meanwhile Ain has birdbrain to the max and that means baths consist primarily of getting his feathers wet and rapidly shaking them everywhere.
...
Huh.
Yeah, he has no idea how he's supposed to return the favour.]
no subject
Vash has wondered about Ain's previous owner, but...he seems as reluctant to talk about her as Vash does about his previous pet, and thus he's fine with just letting the topic pass them by. He smiles in spite of himself at those words- "I like you far better"- as he continues to very gently drag his fingers through those wings.
And...it's not on purpose, really. He's been trying to be careful, but since they're talking, he's...not paying attention. His hand is getting dangerously close to where Ain said not to touch with each pass.]
I like you too, Ain. It would be a lot more lonely if I didn't have you with me.
[Again, a feeling that he's used to...but not one he thinks he could bear to feeel again so soon.]
no subject
This will not cause problems later.]
Oh, I'll certainly never let you get lonely. [He begins, with a surprising amount of self-awareness in his tone for once. This will never happen again.] I don't like being alone much myself. Birds are social creatures, you know. Imagine if you had picked something more aloof like a snake. I'd like to think I'm much more fun and loveable than—
[And then, whoops, Vash's hands wander just a bit too close, and Ain stiffens and lets out a strained, shaky exhale. It's fine, he's fine.]
—than a snake. [He concludes after a moment.] Haha, Mr. Plant... Unless you want to get pounced on, you might want to watch where your hands go.
[There's a very pointed look over his shoulder at that. If Vash isn't a good Christian boy no more, he might figure out what it means.]
no subject
When he suddenly gasps like that, Vash does at least have enough self awareness to slow his movements for a moment, watching as Ain peers at him over his shoulder.]
Eh? Did I…
[Did his hand really get too close? He didn’t even realize, his feathers are just so soft all along the entire wing that he didn’t notice. Also, pounce?
Pounced on…
……]
A-ah! Oh! I’m sorry-!
[It seems that he gets the message, his expression suddenly sheepish and apologetic, as he’s quick to say:]
I don’t want any trouble…nobody has to get pounced today, message received.
[……]
no subject
Hm.
He flexes his wings a bit, partly because holding them in one place for too long makes the muscles stiff, partly because he's a showoff. Yes, his wings are very soft and nice and shiny, and his feathers are very high quality because he is just SO stunning, etc, please tell him he's pretty.]
It's an invitation. [He says, casually, like he's talking about the weather.] If you want to, remember? Otherwise... haha, you can just forget I said so, right?
[He's Behaving. He's Behaving as well as an unruly bird can Behave.]
no subject
An invitation…to bite me?
[Vash is a good Christian boy, who might also be stupid.]
no subject
Ain hums. Oh he is Dealing with a virgin isn't he. Okay. Those are fun, he'll try not to be mean—]
A little more than biting would be fun, don't you think? [...Sigh, okay, maybe he'll be a bit more forward.] You know what an erogenous zone is, right? When I warned you not to put your hands too close...
[He trails off. Vash do you Get It—]
no subject
It takes him a moment. Then another…
Then, his face turns a comical shade of red.]
Oh! Oh. Oh, Ain, I- I’m sorry, I didn’t realize-
[He apologizes, as if Ain isn’t looking him in the eye like “you can touch but only if you can cash those checks you’re writing”.]
That your. Your wings were….yeah.
no subject
You're stupid. [He likes that in a man.] I should have been more forward with you, so it's my fault. I didn't want you to feel awkward.
[Maybe it's too late now. The glance Ain's fixing him with is coquettish, like he really is about to pounce on him for real. He's behaving so far.]
When I said I would pounce on you, I meant it in more of a... hm, playful way. A "we're going to be in bed soon" way.
...
You're not straight, right? [PLEASE do not be straight—]
no subject
He glances off to the side, turning even redder. There’s yet more he’s never talked about, re: his previous pet. But the sexual tension between the two of them was high. Nothing ever happened, but it was more for Vash’s lack of ability to make a move…not wanting to make their relationship weird because he couldn’t deliver. Which is funny, considering the fact that 99.9% of pet/owner arrangements ARE sexual.]
N-no, I…I like men.
[…]
Maybe both? I’m not straight.
[So: yes
Also being called stupid equally does not phase him, that’s just an average Tuesday for Vash-]
no subject
He'll have to be nice...r than he ordinarily would be. That's fine and all, since he really doesn't want to break Vash's brain. Maybe he'll just flirt a bit and see where it leads.
Or. Or. He could have no impulse control and kiss Vash's jawline, yeah let's do that—]
Good. I didn't think you were, based on how you act, [RUDE?] but you had me worried for a moment.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
pls ignore me haphazardly mashing our two canons together it works somehow I PROMISE
https://elwiki.net/wiki/images/e/ea/L3-1new2.png
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...